


beneath the light of a neon moon

by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Alex is a fraternity president, Alternate Universe - College/University, Don't copy to another site, Henry is not in line for the throne, Homophobic Language, M/M, Set in Austin, Slow Burn, alex has a gay crisis tm, yes this entirely indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-09-26 05:30:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 64,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20384461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tedddylupin/pseuds/perfect-porcelain
Summary: Alex just wants to get through college, go on and do great things. Of course Henry has to take a seat right next to him and make him feel things.





	1. ten rounds of jose cuervo

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: project????

Dear Henry,

As much as i wanted to not be spending hours and hours on this stupid fucking project, here i am at 3 in the morning wishing to GOD that i hadn’t been put in this section and not been placed in your group. Yes i’m sure you’re going to read this tomorrow and I’M gonna read this tomorrow hwne i’m sober and not screaming into the void about how much i fucking hate this project and how much i fucking hate your face but alas here we are with me writing this email to scream at you about how you aren’t pulling your weight and LIKE ALWAYS i have to be the one to carry the project because i actually give a shit about my grade. 

Yes there is a lot of ‘fuckin’ in this email.

No i don’t care and no i don’t care that the only capitalization is coming from gmail automatically making it look nice and i’m too drunk and too unbothered to go back in and fix it the for ~aesthetic~

Anyways please see the attached documents so i can actually get some response from you and i odn’t have to completely dock your peer grading form.

Also in case you were wondering, yes i’m drinking jack daniels straight from the bottle.

Yes you were the one that lead me to this moment in my life.

Sincerely fuck you,  
Alex

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Re: project????

Dear Alex,

I’ve read your attached documents and made some notes. 

Yours,  
Henry

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: project????

Dear Henry,

Are you fucking kidding me with this bullshit? Also sidenote, why the hell are YOU awake at this hour and why on earth did it take me yelling at you over an email to actually get a response? 

Your notes were stupid. I could practically hear your posh accent in them. 

Really stupid.

Fuck you,  
Alex

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Re: project????

Dear Alex,

I’m awake for the same reason you are. Unlike you, I am entirely too sober right now and I can actually use commas correctly. I have several projects that are due before this one. I apologize if my time hasn’t been spent on just this one. I will remedy that in the future but right now I really need to finish my four essays at the moment. 

Yours,  
Henry

P.S. the notes were good you’re just too stubborn to admit that I’m right.

IN DRAFTS

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: project????

Henry,  
I hate your stupid face and your stupid posh way of wirting it’s really fucking annoying. I hate how your notes are right and i hate how you called me out on it. I hate how you always sit next to me even though i haven’t given you the time of day outside the classroom. I hate how you always somehow smell like a fresh shower evne though your hair is always dry. I hate how you always offer me gum. I hate you.

Do you wish to send?

Alex pushed himself away from his desk in his tiny fraternity room that he had somehow gotten to himself. Well not _somehow_. He got it because he was the president of Delta Sigma Phi. Definitely the darkhorse on campus but he didn’t give a shit. Better a darkhorse than being involved with racist pieces of shit (looking at you Kappa Alpha).

He let himself fall into bed, the twin bed bouncing a little under his weight. It was early Saturday morning and he was mentally and physically exhausted. He knew he had a party later tonight but the only thing that was on his mind was the fact that fucking _Henry Fox_ was still awake and sending him notes about their project they had been partnered together on. Honestly he was astounded that in the year of our lord 2019, there were still assigned partners on projects in college. Fucking ridiculous. 

The only reason he had signed up for the international relations in communication class was because A. he needed an elective and this seemed like a viable option and B. he actually liked the new communication building and it was close to his geopolitical science class right after. Alexander Claremont-Diaz may be a lot sometimes but you couldn’t call him a planner. 

He still remembered when Henry sat down next to him on the first day in the lecture hall that was more theater then lecture hall. He found himself rightfully annoyed that out of all the empty rows and empty seats this tall blonde looking princely type motherfucker had to choose him to sit next to. And then Henry had to open his goddamn mouth and talk with that stupid accent that set him apart from anyone else in Austin. 

Ridiculous.

It was like the karma gods were calling him out on his bullshit from when he accidentally stole something when it had fallen into his open bag and he hadn’t realized it until he got home. 

He still remembered when Henry sat next to him the next time class rolled around on Friday and he was huddled under a hoodie in the 100 degree August weather with sunglasses on indoors even though the lecture hall was still very much darkened from the projector. 

“Rough night?” 

Stupid accent.

“What’s it to you?” He had snapped back.

“Gum?” 

He looked down at the outstretched hand holding a packet of gum and he remembered looking up into the blue eyes and frowning. 

“It’s not going to bite you.” 

He remembered taking the gum.

“I’m Henry.” 

“Alex.” He remembered grumbling back as he chewed the peppermint gum, suddenly, reluctantly grateful for the fact that this gross taste in his mouth is gone. 

It went on like that for the first three weeks. Henry being a shining beacon sidling up next to Alex in the lecture hall even though there were very clearly more open seats but he supposed it was the principle of the thing at that point. Henry always offered gum and Alex always took it and then they usually didn’t speak for the rest of the lecture. 

Sometimes Henry would ask about his weekend. Sometimes Henry would ask about something about the class. Sometimes Henry would ask about a random very American tradition (“What is a mum?”

“A mum?”

“Yeah I was asked if I ever made a mum and I really went to a weird place because I thought they meant my mother and it wasn’t a good day for me.”

-insert delirious laughter because Alex was entirely too exhausted from the fact he had crammed the night before for his political theory class-

“I’m serious what the hell is a mum?”

“It’s a Texas thing bro. Homecoming thing. Honestly just google homecoming mums and you’ll get it.”

Henry definitely did not get it.)

All of the times Alex never initiated but he didn’t say no when Henry did. 

Perhaps that was why he was so incredibly annoyed at the fact that he had to be the one to spearhead this project and yeah he was fine with doing it all on his own but dammit if he didn’t think Henry was one of the good ones. It seemed he was entirely wrong about the entire thing and now he was splayed out on his bed that definitely needed to be washed thinking about stupid _Henry_ and how he was going to throttle the man on Monday if he didn’t get more from him. 

He let out a groan and rolled on his back, picking up his phone as he did.

**Best Thing In Your Life**: i hate henry  
**Buggie**: whomst?  
**Best Thing In Your Life**: partner for this stupid project. He hasn’t done shit  
**Buggie**: oh yes the one you’re in love with right?  
**Best Thing In Your Life**: fuck you  
**Best Thing In Your Life**: why are you up?  
**Buggie**: with nora. She won’t shut up about something with her stats class idk i’m just soaking up her alcohol so it’s fine  
**Best Thing In Your Life**: blergh  
**Best Thing In Your Life**: you coming to the party tonight?  
**Buggie**: wouldn’t miss it. I’m bringing a friend from my journalism class. Go the fuck to sleep Alex  
**Best Thing In Your Life**: yeah yeah love you  
**Buggie**: love you too idiot

He woke up in basically the same position that he last remembered before he slipped into a nice little black out that he hadn’t realized he was that close to last night. His computer was still open to the draft of the email that he had at least some sense of not sending last night. He groaned and ran his hands down his face before slowly getting to his feet, popped an aleve and made his way to the bathroom down the hall. He greeted the brothers that were actually up as he went. Whenever he woke up like this they assumed he had gotten trashed with a girl but they would probably laugh at him if they knew that it was just him, a bottle of Jack, and late night emails with the infuriating princely type. 

He ignored everyone for the rest of the day, preferring to recuperate to sit in his room to get some actual work done before the party tonight. It was their second of the semester that wasn’t a rush party. Alex of course had final say of all the party themes and he was disgusted at the amount of the frat members that hadn’t seen enough of John Hughes movies so he of course made the showings of all the best mandatory. It was research after all. His boys had to look good for their theme. 

God bless the sweethearts for their banner hanging outside the house at the moment. 

He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked good. Rolled jeans, tacky vest over a white t-shirt and loafers. The best Mexican Ferris Buller this world had ever seen of course.

The bass was thumping throughout the house as he made his way down the stairs. He was so glad he never had to be in charge of the parties. He’d leave that to the social chair. He just had to show up and look presidential. He could do that in his sleep even hungover. 

“Alex!” He heard a voice call out to him and he frowned a little as he saw June leaning against the bar with Nora not far behind. She was wearing a pink dress and her hair was teased to high heaven. 

“Hey, you’re here early.” He said as he walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Nora came in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well. She was dressed in layers with dark eyeliner. “Basketcase? And let me guess...Sam Baker?”

“Nailed it babe.” Nora laughed. It seemed she was already a drink or two in. 

“We aren’t early, have you looked out back? Your patio is bursting.” June pouted and Alex peeked out the window and sure enough there was already a good crowd. He was glad that they had decided to keep in an outdoor only party. He wasn’t sure he could handle the loud party till the early hours of the morning. “Why you still live here I have no idea.”

“Presidents have to live in house.” He grumbled but then straightened. “We need shots.”

They took several rounds, June giggling as she fell into Nora at one point. She grabbed both of their hands and Alex supposed he would allow his sister dragging them outside. He should make an appearance after all. 

At this point things were starting to get pleasantly blurry around the edges and he could feel himself itching to dance it out. He waved and greeted girls he recognized and hugged his brothers with a grin. Even though he severely disliked being surrounded by this all the time it was where he thrived. He had always been the life of the party wherever he went.

Several drinks later he found himself dancing with a girl who he recognized from a few parties though he hadn’t banged her despite the opportunity. It was during that dance that he looked up and saw June dancing with someone he didn’t know but it was behind her that he suddenly froze mid dance. 

“That fucker.” He seethed. “Sorry babe, I gotta go deal with someone.” He said in the ear of the girl and she pouted but he was gone before she could say anything. 

Alex stomped over through the crowd, pulling hands off of him of girls who he had either slept with or kissed or those that wanted to and he gave them sympathetic looks but his eyes were like pure fire as he finally made his way over.

“Alex! Baby!” June laughed as she grabbed his hands. “Meet Pez! He’s in my journalism class. He’s the one I texted you about.” 

He let himself stop and look at the boy who was behind June, his hands on her hips. 

“Hey man.” Pez said and Alex frowned at the accent. 

“Sup.” Was all he gave. June looked at him and rolled her eyes. 

“He’s usually better.” 

“It’s cool.” Pez laughed and Alex suddenly got why June seemed a little into him. He gave his sister a look and she rolled her eyes. 

“I’m sure I’ll see you around but right now I have to take care of something.” He apologized and Pez nodded. He didn’t look back at June as he kept going and making a beeline for a golden haired boy who was standing awkwardly to the side with a solo cup in his hand. 

“Bold of you to show up here.” Alex barked at Henry who startled at his sudden appearance.

“Oh, hello Alex.”

Stupid _fucking_ accent.

“What the hell are you doing here? Also how the hell did you get in here?” He crossed his arms.

“I uh...may or may not have used your name. My friend Pez said it was fine so--” 

“Oh so you know Pez huh?”

Henry frowned. “How do you know Pez?”

“Doesn’t fucking matter. I’m pissed at you.”

Henry’s frown deepened before he shook his head and let out a little laugh, looking down at his solo cup. “You’re entirely ridiculous you know that?” 

“And why would that be?”

“Because you’re practically attacking me at your own party about a _group project_.” Henry took a sip and Alex wanted to slap the cup out of his hand. “It’s just funny, that’s all. I would not have thought of fraternity guys to be that interested in grades.”

“Well I wouldn’t have thought posh British idiots wouldn’t have cared about grades.” Alex fumed, fingers digging into his biceps. He looked Henry over and frowned. “Who the hell are you supposed to be?”

Henry held out his hands and did a little twirl. “I’m supposed to be Duckie.” 

Henry’s hair was teased up with a hat precariously perched on the back of his head and he was wearing a blazer that was rolled at the sleeves. Alex curled up a lip.

“You’re in fucking Texas and you miss the bolo tie? Amature.” 

Henry grinned but shrugged. “I did my best. Pez told me today that we were going so I had to make due.” 

Alex closed his eyes and sucked in a breath through his nose before opening his eyes and letting the breath out slowly. “Just do you share of the work otherwise I’m going to find you and waterboard you until you do.” 

Henry’s lips twitched into another smile that briefly flashed across his face and Alex felt like he was suddenly blinded before things went back to normal. “Yes Mr. President.” He saluted Alex and Alex rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever.” 

And with that he left for another drink.

He definitely did not continue to search for Henry throughout the night from across the crowd. 

He definitely did not want to knock that stupid hat off that stupid hair.

He definitely did not feel a shot of jealousy when he saw Henry get pulled into the dance floor by a beautiful woman. 

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Re: project????

Dear Alex,

I finished the project. See attached files.

Yours,  
Henry

P.S. you made a good Ferris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I drawing heavily on my time at UT Austin? Hell yes I am. Did I finish Red White and Royal Blue today and automatically open a googledoc to write my feelings down? Yes. Yes I did. I've got at least 10 chapters planned and you bet your ass I'm mentioning all the things I love about Texas and Austin so buckle in bitches. Let me show you how much I love this state. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> Update: i'm gonna include a glossary to every chapter because sometimes I include things and go back and realize "oh my experience is not universal" so hopefully these glossaries help lol
> 
> GLOSSARY:  
**Mum**: a part of all Texas homecoming traditions where the guys will take a fake flower and add a bunch of ribbons, stickers, sometimes lights and bells, and give it to the girl to wear to the homecoming football game (seriously google them they're insane)  
**Sweethearts**: girls that hang out with a fraternity (usually girlfriends of members) and help decorate because boys aint shit)


	2. as good as i once was

“Morning.” 

Alex looked up and grumbled.

“Rough one?”

Alex grumbled again.

“We got an A on our project did you see? Looks like the professor finally put in the grades.”

Alex grumbled a third time.

“I think this is the part where you say ‘we make such a great team Henry we should really partner together for all future endeavors’.”

Alex grumbled a fourth time.

“Earth to Alex. Are you alive? Ground control to Major Tom.” 

Alex swatted away Henry’s finger that was poking him in the cheek. 

“Oh he lives. But does he speak?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Oh he does! God bless. I’ll write home to mum and tell her that I have cured Alex’s mutism.”

“Mutism is a real thing Henry don’t joke about that.”

“Right, right, sorry. I guess I should say I cured Alex’s ability to ignore Henry by grumbling and wearing a hood and glasses on a Friday yet still managed to come into class. Truly inspired. I should win a Nobel Peace Prize.” 

“You’re so annoying you know that? I should honestly just sit in a different spot and watch you be all confused.”

“Ah yes but then you’d have to face the wrath of the sorority girls that never look up from facebook or their starbucks when you take their seat.”

“Sorority girls love fraternity presidents.”

“Do they love them as much when they’re hungover and don’t want to talk to them?”

“They do when they look like me.”

Henry laughed at that one and shook his head as he took a sip from his tumbler. “Your self-involvement continues to astound me.” 

“Yeah well...shut up I’m too tired to argue with you right now.”

Henry snorted but didn’t say anything as the professor began the lecture.

Alex definitely did not spend the entire time huddled under his hood looking like the unabomber and definitely did not spend the entire time watching Henry’s fingers type out the notes with his long delicate fingers. 

“I’ll send you the notes if you want.” Henry said as he leaned forward to put his laptop back into his backpack.

“Chill.” Alex said as he pulled off the sweatshirt. He only had to cross the street a little ways to get to his next class and yes it was October, but lord help them all if it wasn’t still 80 degrees outside. He supposed he should have known considering it was only _early_ October and nowhere near Halloween. 

“Are you doing anything this weekend?” Henry asked as he zipped up the backpack. 

“Yeah I’m going to ACL. I would have gone today but I couldn’t skip. I’m saving those two freebie absences for when I’m dead in the water around finals.” He said as he pushed the sweatshirt into his backpack and stood up, slinging it over his shoulder.

“Maybe I’ll see you there.” Henry said absent-mindedly as he too stood up. 

“You’re going to ACL?”

“Well yes, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do in Austin?”

“I mean if you’ve got the money. Not a lot of college kids do. I only got tickets because June’s doing a piece for the Daily Texan. My mom refuses to give any sort of money that goes towards something as frivolous as a music festival and I refuse to get a job so I take June’s free passes.” He grinned and Henry arched an eyebrow. “What? You gotta be stealthy about these things. That’s the true mark of a college student, how to get into things for free.” 

“I’m just shocked your fraternity didn’t pay for tickets.” 

“That would be seen as a bad sense of brotherhood if only the exec board got tickets.” 

They walked out of the classroom together into the hot sun. Henry grimaced as he pulled out his sunglasses. Alex took his own from on top of his head, groaning as he did. 

“It’s October, why is it still so hot?” Henry complained.

“Welcome to Texas baby.” Alex said, giving him a salute as he walked toward his next class, definitely _not_ thinking about how great Henry looked in aviators. 

**Buggie**: Nora would like you to know that she has successfully talked me down from five flash tattoos to only two.  
**Brother Dearest**: God bless Nora  
**Buggie**: how do you keep changing your contact name in my phone?  
**Brother Dearest**: i have my secrets babe  
**Buggie**: i hate you  
**Buggie**: bring the sunscreen  
**Brother Dearest**: yes mom  
**Buggie**: shut the fuck up

**Henry Comm Class**: are you here yet? I’m scared  
**Alex**: are your english sensibilities being shaken to their core?  
**Henry Comm Class**: There’s girls wearing nothing but netting and are calling it a shirt. Why are there so many feathers? How many birds had to die for this?  
**Henry Comm Class**: I’m serious Alex where are their mothers?  
**Henry Comm Class**: Holy shit I just saw one take a faceplant and get back up with blood on her knee and just laugh. They are too powerful. I’m very scared now.  
**Henry Comm Class**: ALEX PLEASE

**Henry Comm Class**: Wait...I think I see you.  
**Henry Comm Class**: A mesh crop top? Are you serious?

Alex gazed out across Zilker Park at the amount of white college kids and shook his head. “I cannot believe that this is what ACL has come to.”

“Okay you luddite.” Nora rolled her eyes as she shook back her hair over her shoulder. June was looking at her phone and laughing. 

“Oh my god Pez said he and Henry just saw some girl face plant.” 

Alex felt his own phone buzz and he took it out. The amount of texts that Henry had left him was entirely too unreasonable. He scrolled through them and looked up when he read the last one. “They’re coming this way.” 

June looked up and grinned. She instantly started moving towards where Pez and Henry were coming from and gave Pez a hug. Nora and Alex followed behind and Alex attempted to stop himself from giving Henry a once over. He was wearing _khaki shorts_ of all things. At least the boy was also wearing a tank. Nothing quite as flashy as the neon yellow cropped mesh tank Alex himself was wearing but at least Henry wouldn’t die in the heat. 

“Do you not own anything other than semi-casual wear?” Alex asked Henry as he got closer. 

“Says the guy who’s wearing a highlighter for a shirt. If it can even be called that.” Henry smirked.

“Let me guess, that tank’s actually Pez’s and he had to force you into it?” Alex smirked back.

“Nailed it.” Pez jumped in and Alex laughed, shaking his head. 

“How the hell are you not a middle-aged accountant right now?” 

“Hey, hey, be nice to my bruv.” Pez hugged Henry around the waist with one hand, the other coming up to rest on his chest like a typical sorority date pose. “He needs some help to break out of mummy’s influence. We can help him right Alex?”

“He’s gonna need more than that. I’m thinking an entire brainwashing session. We have to rewire his brain to fit into the American college culture.” Alex snickered.

“Oh yes, please let’s do a movie marathon.” Pez said giddily.

“I’m right here you know.” Henry rolled his eyes.

“We know babe. We’re trying to help.” Pez pouted.

“If you guys are done flirting, we can actually go listen to music now.” June arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and Nora grinned. 

They make their way to the first stage, June and Nora leading the way with Pez not far behind. He and Henry bring up the rear.

“You know you never told me how you got these tickets.” Alex said.

“My sister is the guitar player in one of the bands. Satanic Jack. She got tickets for me and Pez though truthfully Pez could have gotten them himself.” Henry said as he dodged several groups of girls that were squealing at each other.

“Wait are you serious? Your sister is in a band?” Alex stopped abruptly. “She is already a thousand times cooler than you. Not that I’ve heard of that band. Kinda scary name.”

“They’re British and emo or whatever. Play on the Union Jack. Mum was definitely not happy about it. Not good for our image.” Henry rolled his eyes behind his aviators.

“Why does she care about your image?”

Pez came up at that moment before Henry can answer and dragged them both towards the first stage. The girls are already pushing their way towards the front even though Alex definitely had never heard whatever music was coming out of the speakers. He usually fell back on Nora when it came to music. She still said the only reason that he had good taste was because of her. 

He doesn’t really care. He just started dancing to the rhythm of it. Henry stood off to the side barely bobbing his head to the beat. 

“You really don’t like dancing do you?” Alex asked over the sound of the speakers.

Henry shrugged. “When you grow up going to prep school you don’t really have the option for dancing to music like this.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Of course you went to prep school.” And laughed, attempting to get Henry to dance along to the music.

Eventually he gave up and they make their way to the food booths. Alex got all the fried food he can buy and forced Henry to take multiple bites all in the name of teaching him how to be a good Texan. 

“This ain’t got nothing on the State Fair. I’m dragging you to the Red River Rivalry if it’s the last thing I do.” Alex grinned as he leaned back against his hands that were out on the grass behind him. 

Henry narrowed his eyes. “Did I just have a stroke? What the hell is the Red River Rivalry?”

“Oh my god.” Alex fell back, officially laying on the grass. He was pretty tipsy at that point thanks to the Shiner and the wine pops June have bought them. He threw and arm over his face, nearly knocking his sunglasses off. “You have so much to learn. How have you gone so long at UT without knowing about football?”

“Considering football is very American and a cheap steal of _our_ football I think I’m doing okay for myself.”

Alex peeked out behind his arm at Henry who was leaning back on his hands as well and watching the stage. They were currently waiting for Satanic Jack to come on. Nora and June were in the long line at the women’s bathroom and Pez was...well Pez was somewhere. He kind of did his own thing anyways.

“Mark your calendar for next week. We’re headed to Dallas.” Alex said firmly.

“But I have--”

“Nope, I don’t want to hear it. You’re going to experience culture and you’re going to _like it dammit_.” Alex said as he sat up when the strains of a soundcheck started. Henry looked towards the stage as well. He stood up and held out a hand for Alex to take. He did. He ignored the way his heart seemed to be a little harder as the warm, comforting feel of it. They made their way to the front of the stage.

“Wait, _that’s_ your sister?” Alex asked, mouth dropping open. A woman with long hair, heavy dark makeup and an entire ear of piercings stood up with a guitar in her hands. She winked at Henry and waved. 

“Yep, that’s Bea.” Henry said, waving back. 

Alex was blown away. Bea looked like the entire opposite of what Henry was. Where Henry was golden and shining and good, Bea looked like a dark goddess who could suck out his soul and he would thank her for it. He wouldn’t even be mad if she ghosted him.

“She doesn’t date college boys.” Henry said simply, looking at him with a knowing expression.

“I said nothing!”

“Your face said everything.” Henry said simply but his mouth twisted into a grin as the band started playing. 

They were _good_. Like a Fall Out Boy type band if Fall Out Boy was from Britain and was decidedly more sophisticated. Alex took out his phone and already downloaded their entire discography to his Spotify. 

Their set was only about 20 minutes long, too many other bands and bigger names to come up for it to be any longer. Henry took everyone around the back, June, Nora, and Pez having found their way to the two of them. 

“Hen!” Bea yelled and nearly dropped her guitar in her rush to run at Henry. One of her bandmates caught it before it fell. Henry pulled her into a tight hug and swung her around. Alex ignored the swell of his chest at the sight.

“Bea.” Henry said happily. “Meet my friends!” He introduced everyone and Bea beamed at them.

“Glad to see Henry hasn’t totally lost himself in his books.” Bea said with a laugh. 

“Would never dream of it babe.” Pez jumped in and Bea kissed him on the cheek. 

“So, anything fun to do in this backwater place you call a town?” Bea asked and Alex let out a gasp of disapproval, a hand covering his heart.

“How _dare_ you.”

“Alex is very protective of Austin for some reason.” Henry said with a gleam in his eyes.

“Only because it is the _best_ place in the entire world.” Alex chided Henry and Henry shrugged.

“It’s alright.”

Alex pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. “I’ll remember that Fox.” 

“We were about to head to the silent disco if you want to join.” Nora butted in. “I also want to know everything about you because I want to be your best friend ever.” She said to Bea.

“Cheers babe.” Bea laughed and the six of them headed towards the Tito’s Stage, grabbing several shots along the way along with multiple mixed drinks. 

(“So this is what you spend your money on? Alcohol and street tacos?”

“Priorities Henry. Priorities.”)

Henry looked fuzzy around the edges in only the best way. In only the way a giant sweaty mass of people in headphones grinding to EDM music with strobe lights bouncing off blue eyes and damp hair could.

Alex closed his eyes, threw his hands up and his head back and let his body move to the beat. The alcohol was hitting him in just the right way. The tequila was always the best in Texas. God bless Tito’s. 

He let out a laugh as he opened his eyes and moved his head forward once more and saw Henry actually getting into the music. “Yes! There you go! All in the hips baby!” He yelled and Henry looked at him with a smile in his eyes. 

He danced with Nora and June and Pez and even Bea, his hands going to her hips for a moment before Nora stole her away once more. Eventually he found himself next to Henry once again. The carefreeness of the night coursed through him and he sidled up next to him, body halfway against the taller boy as his shoulder brushed against Henry’s chest. He twisted halfway again so his ass was to Henry’s front and he let out another wild laugh. Every cell in his body was lit up like the lights that were swirling around them. He twisted again so that he was chest to chest with Henry and he craned his neck up with a grin.

“I’m gonna teach you how to party yet.” He said happily and Henry was looking at him with a certain look in his eye. 

He twisted away once more, letting the crowd take him away because he wasn’t sure he was ready to unpack that look. 

Tonight was for fun.

Tomorrow was for thoughts.

Eventually the night wrapped up and he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be able to make to the second day. He was fine with that. He needed to actually make sure he hadn’t gotten sun stroke. 

“You guys alright?” He asked, slurring his words a little when Pez was holding Henry up.

“I got him man.” Pez said with a nod.

“We got Alex.” June said and Alex frowned, rocking back on his heels a little to the point that he crashed into Nora who was standing behind and to the side of him.

“I reject that statement. I’m _fine_.” He said and Henry let out a loud laugh that made Alex laugh too. June rolled her eyes while Bea attempted not to laugh. 

“It was lovely to meet you all.” Bea said with her perfectly British accent that was exactly like and not at all like Henry’s. She gave Alex a kiss on the cheek. “Take care of my baby brother.” 

Alex let out an exasperated sound. “If I don’t kill him first.” 

Bea grinned and moved towards Henry and gave him a tight hug. “I’ll see you later okay babe?”

“Bea.” Henry whined and Alex suddenly felt like he was watching a more intimate moment that he should be allowed to witness. “I miss you.”

“I know Hen, but you’ve got some great friends here. I’ll visit and you can show me Austin a little more.” She said and gave him a kiss on his forehead, having to bring Henry’s face down in order to do it. 

“Okay.” Henry mumbled. “Love you.”

And with that Bea waved goodbye to all of them and they made their way to the exit. They parted ways, Alex giving Pez a hug and practically ignored Henry other than a fistbump that Henry definitely botched. 

June and Nora deposited him in the back seat of his Jeep and he grumbled. “I can’t believe you’re driving my Jeep right now.”

“Well I’m sure you’ll be glad about it in the morning when you haven’t crashed it.” Nora said, looking into the backseat as June pulled out and headed towards the fraternity house. 

“Henry’s fun isn’t he?” Alex mumbled into the cushion that he was curled up on.

“Yeah he and Pez are a lot of fun. I still don’t know why you hate him.” June said as she neared Guadalupe Street.

“I don’t think he does hate him June.” Nora said with a knowing look and Alex whipped out a hand to attempt to whack her but it only made him groan as the world spun once more. 

“Shut up.” Alex muttered. Nora continued to give him a knowing look. “He’s a shit partner.” 

“No, you’re just bad a being in a group.” June corrected him and Alex grumbled at her too.

“Whatever.”

He missed the look June and Nora gave each other. One that said they knew more than he let himself think about. 

He found himself on his back staring up at the stained ceiling in the frat house and if he squinted a little one of the stains looked a little like Henry. That could be the fact that his eyes were spinning and couldn’t focus on one thing at the moment. Yeah that was it.

He rolled over and paused for a moment to right himself before he grabbed his phone.

**Alex**: i had fun  
**Henry Comm Class**: I did too. I guess this Texas thing isn’t so bad.  
**Alex**: aaaaaand u ruined it  
**Henry Comm Class**: night Alex  
**Alex**: night henry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in less that 24 hours? Am I whipped? Hell yes. Am I making entirely too many Austin and UT references for myself? Also yes. I like this entirely too much because these boys are everything to me and I just love them okay. Also Bea and her band. Definitely made that up on the spot #killinit
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**ACL** Austin City Limits. It's a giant music festival that takes over Austin two weekends of October (used to be on weekend, RIP) in Zilker Park which is a giant park in Austin  
**Daily Texan** UT Austin's student newspaper. It's quite ~elite~ to get into. June's killin the game tbh  
**Exec board** All of the positions of a fraternity is collectively called the exec board (short for executive board) they're the guys that are in charge of running the place and Alex is the top of the top so he has final say in a lot of stuff  
**Red River Rivalry** A football game between UT and Oklahoma University (aka OU) where they meet in Dallas because the Red River is the closest thing between them. This is the border between Texas and Oklahoma hence the name. They go during a weekend of the State Fair and play in a really old concrete stadium in the middle of the State Fair. You should google pics because half of the stadium is all burnt orange and the other half is maroon. It's super cool  
**Tito's** aka the best vodka and tequila made in Texas. I will take no arguments on this


	3. why don't we do a little day drinking

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: RRR baby

Dearest Henry,

Attached you will find your ticket, your itinerary that Nora so lovingly put together, and a list of possible outfits you are allowed to wear. If you choose to deviate from said approved outfits I WILL hunt you down and I WILL force you to learn how to shotgun a beer. Actually, I’m adding a youtube link on how to shotgun beer because I REFUSE to allow you to embarrass me in front of my pledges who have learned how to shotgun by the time they were 7 and drinking Mountain Dew. I expect you to watch said youtube video and know how to show off said skills at the tailgate. 

Ever yours,  
Alex

P.S. I’ve included all the fight songs and football traditions for you to also learn. I never said you wouldn’t have homework outside of class.

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Re: RRR baby

Dear Alex,

Pez has videoed me doing this disgusting tradition in order for you to make comments and suggestions on how to approve. 

Sincerely,  
Henry

P.S. Texas Fight

Red River Rivalry 2k19

Friday  
11:00am: Meet in behind the Co-op for Alex and Henry to get done with class  
11:10am: Hit road for Dallas. Nora on aux cord obviously  
3:30pm (traffic permitting): Check into hotel  
5:00pm: Hit up Downtown Dallas for food  
11:00pm: Return to hotel, tipsy but not drunk (Nora on drink tallying duty)

Saturday  
9:15am: Grab breakfast downstairs  
10:00am: Head to tailgate in proper UT burnt orange (Looking at you Henry)  
1:00pm: Head inside for good seats  
5:00pm: Leave stadium head held high because the Sooners got their asses handed to them  
7:00pm: Celebrate with dinner  
12:00am: Return to hotel

Sunday  
9:30am: Grab breakfast downstairs  
11:00am: Check out of hotel  
3:30pm (traffic permitting): Return to Austin

Henry sat in the front seat with Alex driving and he frowned at the itinerary. “What is a tailgate?”

“Oh my god Henry you have a phone google that shit.” Alex groaned. He looked in the rearview mirror at Nora and June who were chattering to themselves and Pez sleeping against the window. He pushed his Wayfarers up his nose as Henry took out his phone. 

“Wait so you don’t actually go watch the game? You just spend it outside the venue getting drunk? What’s the point of it then?”

“Camaraderie? Brotherhood? Getting lit off Keystone?” Alex shrugged. “Not really Keystone anymore my sensibilities can’t handle that shit. Besides if you look farther down you will see that we _do_ go into the game so like chill my man.” Alex let one hand lightly rest on the steering wheel as he was streaming up I-35 glad to be out of Pflugerville and into the more wild part of Texas headed towards Waco. He’s got the windows down in the Jeep and Brad Paisley on the stereo thanks to Nora who was determined to introduce Henry to country music after Alex let it slip that Henry only knew one country song and it was Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats”. Still a good song but he knew there was more out there that Henry needed to experience. 

“Wow you’re making me want to join a fraternity now.” Henry rolled his eyes.

“If anything for the Natty Lites too.”

Henry gave him a confused, slightly horrified expression. “What the hell is a Natty Lite? That sounds like a horrific hair piece.”

Alex let out a loud bark of a laugh and shook his head, leaning back against the headrest. “Oh my sweet summer child. You’re definitely shotgunning at least two of those when we get there. It’s an American right of passage.” 

Henry scrunched up his nose and looked out the window. “Oh my god why--” 

“Wait holy shit, shut the fuck up right now.” Alex interrupted and jacked up the volume. Pez jolted awake as June let out a whoop at the sounds of the first strains of a steel guitar. 

Alex boogied in his seat as he sang along.

_God blessed Texas_  
_With His own hand_  
_Brought down angels from the promised land_  
_Gave 'em a place where they could dance_  
_If you want to see heaven, brother, here's you chance_  
_I've been sent to spread the message_

Alex pointed at Henry who was watching the entire thing and an amused expression as Alex, June, and Nora all sang along at the top of their lungs. 

Alex curled up his lip during the music break before spitting out the best part of the song.

_God blessed Texas_

Once the song was over Alex turned the radio down a little before looking over at Henry. “You were saying?”

Henry gave him a shake of his head and laughed. “Honestly I can’t even remember now. That was...that was something.”

Alex pushed his Wayfarers up his nose again and let out an easy laugh and shrugged. “I’m gonna get you to a point where you’re gonna fuck off back to England and give the gospel to all those posh boys you hung out with. Just bless them with the sweet sounds of country music.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” Henry leaned his head against his fist that was propped up on the door as he angled his body to look at Alex. 

Alex turned his head slightly to look at Henry who was glowing from the sun rays that were hitting him just right. He gave the boy a smile before turning back to the road. 

Along the way up to Dallas he pointed out landmarks. (“That’s the Baylor stadium.”

“Wow that looks cool.”

“No Henry, we hate them.”

“We do?”

“Baptist pricks.”

“You sound, what’s the American term? Oh yeah, salty.”

“Fuck off.”)

Eventually he pulled them into the hotel parking lot. 

“Alright lads, who’s gonna be given the room with the king and who gets to share the doubles with me?” Pez asked as he slung his arms over Henry and Alex both.

“Bold of you to assume that Nora and I aren’t taking the king.” June smirked at them. Alex looked at Henry who shrugged.

“Brilliant. I get the window bed.” Pez cackled as he slapped them both on the back and followed June and Nora towards the elevators.

“I can...I can share with Pez. I mean I’ve known the man since primary so it’s fine.” Henry said, suddenly awkward.

“You just can’t handle this.” Alex smirked as he pushed up his glasses to the top of his head.

“No, I’ve just studied with you in PCL until 2 in the morning and I know you snore.” Henry said smoothly as he walked past and Alex was left with his mouth hung open.

“I do not snore!” He yelled after him as he stalked his way into the elevator. “June, Nora, tell Henry here that I don’t snore.”

June and Nora gave each other a look before Nora shrugged. “I mean….”

“Traitors. All of you. This is like Boston Tea Party level shit right here.” Alex huffed and crossed his arms. 

They dumped off their stuff and Alex fell into the bed. He loved driving but sometimes it made him tense, especially in Dallas traffic. He spread out like a starfish and closed his eyes as Pez turned on the TV. It wasn’t until someone poked him in the ribs that he jolted awake, not realizing he had actually fell asleep.

“Come on, go get ready, the girls want to head out to dinner.” Henry said as he pulled on a new button down. Alex stretched in the bed before laying there for a moment longer. He got up and headed into the bathroom to splash water on his face. 

They were ready a few minutes later and met the girls downstairs. 

“I’ve already called a Lyft.” June waggled her phone at them and Alex yawned and nodded. “Hey, no yawning. We’re just getting started.” She jabbed him in the stomach and he jerked away. 

“Rude.” He stuck out his tongue.

He was squished into the backseat with Henry and Pez while Nora and June had the middle row. He definitely ignored how strong and warm Henry’s arm felt against his own.

“This is discrimination.” He said loudly.

“You’re the smallest, shut your mouth.” Nora shot back.

Henry patted him on his head and he whacked it away. “It’s okay baby Alex.” 

“I will murder you.”

“Feisty.” Henry said plainly before pulling on one of his curls before taking his hand away once more.

Dinner was nice. Of course June and Nora had chosen a nice restaurant. “Don’t worry Alex, mom’s paying for it.” June reassured him and he felt his shoulders sag a little in relief. He didn’t exactly have a ton of money to his name for something like this. He had blown through most of his monthly allowance at ACL last weekend. 

“Well in that case I’m getting the steak.” He grinned.

They all chattered throughout the dinner. Alex learned that Pez was a legit millionaire and that Henry had chosen UT because of the fact that his mom hated America and this was the most American place he could think of.

“They basically told me that if I got into a university they would allow me to go. I don’t think they thought I was smart enough to get into UT. My dad was all for it because he loved westerns growing up and this place reminded me of them.” Henry explained. “Pez just came along for the hell of it.”

“Yeah, honestly what the hell am I gonna do with a philosophy degree? Shit if I know but I’m doing it.” Pez jumped in and the entire table laughed.

They vacated the restaurant a couple drinks in and found themselves at one of the many bars in downtown Dallas. June and Pez were dancing. Nora was talking with a very tall model looking woman so he and Henry were alone at their table. 

“Real talk, what do you think of all of this so far? I mean you transferred right?” Alex asked as he took a sip of his whiskey.

“Yeah, uni in England didn’t sit well with me. It was too much of the same thing I had done my entire life. I like it here. Everything’s just so open and available to you.” Henry explained, leaning back into the cushions.

“Open and available. Sounds like a sex tape.” 

Henry choked on his drink, coughing a bit while Alex laughed and patted him on the back. “Jesus Alex you can’t say stuff like that when I’m mid sip.” 

Alex gave him a wild look. “You know I’m right.” 

“Yeah well...whatever. Sorry I don’t have as dirty of a mind as you.” Henry pursed his lips and looked out onto the dance floor.

“Have you met anyone you like yet? I know a lot of girls that would just salivate over you. I wish I had known you before rush, you would have made a great Delta Sig.” Alex shifted his body so that his head was leaning against his hand, drink held loosely in the other.

Henry turned back to him after a beat. “I mean...yeah I have met someone but I don’t think they like me.”

“Oh come on, what’s not to like? Accent, check. Great hair, check. Tall, check. Sensitive nature with a good sense of humor, check. You’re like the perfect package. Have you _talked_ to this person?” 

Henry shifted a little uncomfortably at the praise. “I mean, I’m not exactly like you. I don’t just go up to someone and automatically become their friend.” He watched as Henry looked down at his glass like that held all the answers of the universe. 

Alex pursed his lips. “I mean you did sit next to me on the first day of class and offered me gum like a goddamn Extra commercial.” He fell back into an easy smile. 

Henry let out a little huff of laughter, his lips turning up in a corner. “You looked really pathetic that day not going to lie.” 

“And here we are, friends about to share a hotel room together. Miracles do happen.” Alex smirked, looking at Henry over the rim of his glass. Henry gave him a measured look before he gave Alex a little smile and a shake of his head. 

Eventually Alex got him and Henry on the dance floor with insistence from the girls and Pez. Nora kept their drinking to a strict number based on their alcohol tolerance. Alex pouted when Nora cut him off and Henry snuck him some of his whiskey behind her back. 

They made it back to the hotel and Alex barely got out of his clothes before collapsing into bed, not even bothering with the covers. He was awoken yet again but a poke the ribs to which he let out a sleepy moan.

“Rise and shine.” Henry poked him again and he shifted away from the very rude finger with another moan. “Hey, you’re the one that has to be at your own tailgate.”

“The pledges set everything up. Besides, a president is never late, everyone else is simply early.”

“You don’t have the range to quote Julie Andrews at me.” Henry said and Alex opened his eyes at that.

“Oh my god you finally watched Princess Diaries?”

“I was waiting for the right time to quote.”

“Good choice. I approve.” 

Alex eventually got out of bed and hopped into the shower. In a way he hated how he smiled to himself whenever he thought about Henry but in others he didn’t. In the short amount of time that he had known Henry he had quickly wormed his way into Alex’s life and thoughts. 

Whatever.

It was fine.

Alex dried off and stepped out into the hotel room, towel around his waist as he grabbed his clothes for the day. “Shower’s open.” He said, stepping into his underwear and removing the towel. He looked up to see Henry and Pez already dressed. “Oh. You guys are already done aren’t you?”

Henry was lounging on one of the chairs, looking at his phone and nodded before looking up. “We let you sleep.” 

“How kind.” Alex said dryly as he ran the towel through his hair roughly before pulling on the rest of his outfit. Jeans, short sleeve burnt orange button down, boots. Classic tailgate outfit. He was glad that Henry had actually listened to his email and had worn something similar though his was long sleeved button down rolled up at the elbows and tucked into his jeans. “Are you wearing loafers right now?”

“Okay, June said it was fine.” Henry pointed out, holding his hands up in defense.

“I mean yeah, but damn son you really need to get some boots or something.” 

Henry’s lip curled up in disgust. “I refuse.” 

Pez snickered before putting his foot up on the bed and showing off the UT boots. “He can’t get on this level.” 

Alex leaned over for a high five. “My man.”

The girls were already downstairs. Nora wearing a white skirt, June an orange dress. “Ready to get fucking lit?” Nora asked and the rest laughed as they piled into Alex’s Jeep. 

All Alex had to say was thank god for pledges. The tent was already there and popping by the time they made their appearance. Henry hung back with Pez and the girls while Alex made his rounds, his entire body lighting up at the atmosphere. By the time he made his way back to the group he was three beers and two shots in and fucking living for it.

“Alright Henry, moment of truth.” He said as he put a can of Natty Lite into the boy’s hand. “Show me what you’re made of.” 

Henry let out a loud sigh and held out his can of Miller Lite to Pez to hold and he took the can and Alex’s keys from him. “You Americans are disgusting.”

“Fucking right babe.” Alex winked as he crossed his arms, one hand still holding onto his Shiner. 

Henry made a hole in the can with Alex’s key before giving Alex a dirty look and then popped the tab and put his lips to the hole as the beer came spilling out. He shook his hands once it was gone in less than 20 seconds and let out a loud sound of disgust. “What the fuck mate?”

Alex was laughing so hard he stumbled back into a few people before he found his footing again. 

Henry threw the can into the garbage. “That was awful. You actually drink that shit?”

“Nah, not anymore, but it’s cheap and the pledges can handle it.” Alex grinned and slung his arm around Henry’s neck, forcing the man down a little. “Nailed it though. I’m so proud.” He planted a fat kiss on Henry’s check before shoving him away, ruffling the boy’s hair as he did. 

He introduced Henry to several of his brothers before he found himself floating throughout the tent and chatting with some of the girls. Things were starting to get fuzzy as he kept getting called to take a shot. Each time he kept circling back to Henry and Pez (the girls long gone talking to their own sorority friends or pawning off beer from other frats) he found Henry more and more like an angel in the bright sunlight. 

“Hey, ready to go inside?” Henry asked, grabbing his arm. He looked down at it briefly before up into Henry’s bright face. 

“Yeah, let me grab one more shot and I’ll be good.” He said as he went back into the tent. He took a shot and then grabbed the flask from one of his brothers, clapping him on the back as he stuck it in his boot. “Alright you ready?”

“Are you really bringing a flask in?” Henry arched an eyebrow and an amused smile.

“Trust me you’re gonna want it later hermano.” 

They, along with Pez made their way to the stadium after he shot a text to June and Nora. The girls met them at the front and they headed inside. It was already buzzing with excitement as they found a good row.

He leaned a little on Henry as he stepped up onto the concrete bleachers and let out a whoop as the band started to run out on the field for the pre-show. 

“I’m shocked that you’re not staying with your tailgate. Isn’t that what the president does?” Henry asked in his ear, his breath hot.

“Not when I actually care about football.” He arched an eyebrow as he yelled back.

The game was electric and he cheered on every good play and booed on every bad call. So loud that Nora shushed him with a laugh. He passed around the flask a few times. He found himself staring when Henry wrapped his lips around the metal opening before handing it back to him. 

During half time Nora and June left for snacks while Pez went to the bathroom. He and Henry sat down on the seats for the first time throughout the game. “Thoughts?” He asked, voice slurring a little bit. The rays were hitting Henry in just the right way to where his golden hair looked like a brush fire. 

“Reminds me of football matches.” Henry said as he shifted his sleeves up and ran his hand through his hair. “I do like all the traditions though. Those are cool.” 

Alex studied him for a moment with a soft smile on his face. He was sure it was just the haze of the alcohol talking but Henry looked _good_. Like a blonde Superman or something. “Yeah that’s the best part of it all.” He said a little distractedly. 

Pez and the girls returned and he hungrily ate the hotdog while Henry watched with another look of slight disgust. “Shut up, it’s good.” Alex said, looking pointedly at the hotdog in Henry’s hands. He watched the boy take a bite and roll his eyes in defeat. Alex punched the air. “I knew we would get Prince Charming to succumb to the glory that is processed beef.”

The second half started and Alex was more beligerient than ever as the refs started to miss calls or over penalize the Longhorns. June clapped her hand over Alex’s mouth a few times before she snatched it away as he licked it. “You’re unbelievable.” She rolled her eyes.

It was a close game but at the final few seconds UT got a field goal in that pushed them over the edge and Alex went rabid. He jumped up and down and threw himself into Henry’s arms who nearly fell as he caught the smaller boy. “Yes!!!!!” He screeched in Henry’s ear, laughing maniacally as he punched his fist into the air once more. 

Henry was laughing as Alex got out of his arms and Alex turned to pick up Nora who laughed happily. 

The afterparty was insane. 

The Delta Sigs had rented out a few rooms in the hotel down the street from theirs and the group found themselves in the conjoining rooms. It was entirely too packed for the space but Alex didn’t care. He was on a game winning high and didn’t want to come down. He found himself back at that nice level of drunkenness to where every time he looked over at Henry it was like he was staring at a car crash and couldn’t look away until someone honked at him and he went back to driving. 

He wasn’t gay. 

He wasn’t.

He threw himself back into the revelry with fervor that he hadn’t before until it felt like he suddenly couldn’t breathe. Alex untangled himself from the mass of people that had crowded into the room and went out into the hallway. He stumbled down the hallway till he found himself in the lobby where he dimly heard the tinkling of a piano. It felt too personal after the loud beat of the bass from the room. He saw a familiar golden head.

“Hey.” He said as he made his way over and leaned against the polished wood. Henry looked up with a faint half smile as he stopped playing mid note, delicate fingers moving away from the keys.

“Hello.”

“Too much for ya?” He asked with a cock of his head and Henry shrugged a little self-consciously. 

“Definitely something I haven’t experienced before.” 

Alex bit his lip and brought out his phone with a frown when it buzzed against his leg. “Looks like the girls are already back with Pez.” He said as he held out the texts that were swimming in front of his eyes. Nora had driven Alex’s Jeep back to their hotel before they had all walked to the afterparty. “You wanna head back?”

Henry looked up at the second floor where Alex had just come from before looking back to the boy. “Don’t you have to stay?”

“Nah, I’m ready to pass out.” 

“Okay then.”

They walked back down the street, Alex unbuttoned his shirt to the point it was being held together by only two. He was so _hot_ and the night air wasn’t helping much. 

He opened his mouth to say something but then stopped himself, not sure what to say. So they continued to walk in the silence of the midnight hour. Normally he would want to fill the silence with all sorts of words he didn’t mean if only to stop the deafening lack of speech, but with Henry he found he didn’t need to. He found that his heart was quiet for once. Usually he only felt that with June.

They found their room empty and Henry frowned before his phone buzzed and Henry rolled his eyes. “Pez is in the girl’s room. He said he forgot his key but he doesn’t care enough to move.” 

“Cool, guess we get our own beds.” Alex mumbled as he started stripping. He attempted to pull off his boots from standing but fell onto the bed in a jumbled heap and groaned, annoyed at the fact that the room was spinning so much. He was going to definitely hate himself tomorrow. 

“Need some help?” Henry asked as he unbuttoned his shirt.

Alex flung an arm across his face. “I can’t get my boots off. I’m too dizzy.” 

Henry snickered before moving over and giving Alex a hand. He yanked the boots off after the first time of trying it gently didn’t work so well. Henry stumbled back into the dresser before letting out a little laugh and the audacity of it. “It’s like a reverse country Cinderella.” He said and Alex huffed out a laugh.

“Well you are Prince Charming so it makes sense.” 

Henry came back for the other boot. Henry didn’t move for a moment after getting the boot off and Alex was suddenly aware of the tension that was between them. Henry’s hand was against his sock covered foot, fingers wrapping around his ankle while Alex was still laying back on the bed. They gazed at each other, neither wanting to break the delicate...something...that was between them.

Until Alex sat up with a cough and Henry automatically moved back.

“Right, I should….I should wash my face.” He stood and Henry nodded as he moved towards the bed and turned his body away from Alex as he stripped off his shirt. Alex definitely did not look at the muscles moving across his back as he did.

He stood in front of the mirror, looking into his own eyes that were swimming in front of him. 

“It’s nothing.” He said to himself. “You’re fine.”

He splashed water on his face and brushed his teeth. By the time he came back out, Henry was in bed and turned away from him with the light on his side off. Alex was silent as he pulled back his own covers and turned off the light, shrouding the room in darkness. 

It was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow did this chapter get away from me. Literally as I was writing it I was like please sir, please let me go but alas it did not. Looks like Alex is having a good ol' fashioned gay crisis and I love that for him. As always comments are more than appreciated because I love screaming at people who scream at me.
> 
> The song in this chapter is called "God Blessed Texas" by Little Texas and it is so great PLEASE LISTEN TO IT [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbH60wCO-Yw) SO YOU CAN APPRECIATE ALEX SINGING IT TO HENRY
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Co-op**: UT's bookstore. Located just off campus  
**Tailgate**: mostly before football events, fraternities will set up a tent outside the stadium and drink while not actually paying attention to the game. Only true fans leave the tailgate to actually watch the game and Alex is a True Fan  
**Keystone**: Really shitty, cheap beer. Common place at freshman dorms and fraternity parties because it's cheap  
**Natty Lite**: another form of shitty beer. Short for Natural Lite beer. It's god awful. Never drink it if you don't have to  
**Baylor**: Baylor University aka the worst (sorry any baylor fans out there) and one of UT's rivals in the Big 12 conference  
**PCL**: Aka Perry-Castaneda Library or PCL as it's lovingly called but all UT students (jk can any library be associated with the word "lovingly" more like "death" and "torture")  
**Pledges**: new members of a fraternity. Aka the grunts that have to do all the work so they can "pay their due" or whatever


	4. what hurts the most

**Prince Charming**: Question  
**Alexander**: Answer  
**Prince Charming**: If I was to get a Halloween costume for the first time in my life, where would I get said costume?  
**Alexander**: Oh my god  
**Alexander**: OH my god it’s happening  
**Alexander**: He’s finally becoming American  
**Prince Charming**: Oh piss off, forget I said anything  
**Alexander**: No noooo nonono I’m sorry let me take you to the best Halloween shop PLEASE

**Alexander**: Henry?

**Alexander**: I know where you live don’t ignore me

**Alexander**: I have the force of 45 pledges high on adderall behind me don’t fucking test me  
**Prince Charming**: Oh my god Alex I was in the middle of a test. Yes you can take me clothes shopping. Very cheeky of you.  
**Alexander**: shut up you old crone  
**Prince Charming**: Saucy

“June.” Alex said as he chewed his food thoughtfully. “Do you think Henry has a girlfriend?”

“Why do you care?” June asked as she ate a waffle fry. 

“I just want to be a good friend that’s all. He’s been a little distant lately so I thought he might be spending time with a girl. He did tell me he had his eye on someone but wouldn’t tell me who.” 

“I mean he could be but he could also be spending time on his actual school work like a good student”

“Yeah, that the fuck is up with that.”

“We can’t all run on coffee and pure adrenaline all the time Alex. Sometimes us humans have to sleep.”

Alex took another bite of his chicken wing and frowned. “I just mean he doesn’t text me as much as he used to.”

“It’s been only two weeks since Red River Rivalry. And before that was ACL. You’ve practically stolen both of those weekends from him. I’m sure he’s got things to do.” June shrugged before leaning forward. “What’s got you worried?”

Alex looked out the window as students passed by on the street. “I don’t know. He’s become a really good friend.” He turned back to June. “You like him right?”

“Yeah of course. He and Pez are great. But Alex,” She reached out and placed her hand on top of his arm. “You do have other friends. And the fraternity. _And_ classes. Speaking of those I feel like you’re behind. Call it sister intuition.” 

Alex frowned deeper. “I’m not behind. If anything I’m ahead. I’ve already made study guides for all my tests coming up and I spend at least two hours studying a night plus writing all the essays. I’m fine.”

“Okay then, what about the fraternity. Anything you’re dropping while trying to juggle all these things?”

“What’s with the third degree burn right now?” Alex scoffed.

“I’m just worried about you that’s all.”

Alex moved away from Jude with a little jerk of his arm, almost a flinch but not quite. He would never flinch in his sister’s presence unless she was lobbing some sort of flying object at him. “I’m _fine_.” He insisted.

June was silent for a moment before nodding and looking back down at her basket of wings. “Have you thought about what you’re going to be for Halloween?”

“I’m not sure yet. Henry asked where to get a costume so I’m gonna take him to South Congress. What, why are you giving me that look June? Unappreciated.”

“Nothing, nothing I just...you spend a lot of time with him that’s all.”

“Are you feeling unloved?”

“Shut up, I’m glad to be free of your nasty ass for a while.”

Alex smirked and stole one of June’s waffle fries, him being out of his own. “You want to come with? We’re gonna go to Lucy in Disguise.” 

“Nah Nora and I already have our costumes.” 

“Ooooh, do I get to know?”

“Nope.” June grinned at Alex as she stole one of his wings. He threw a balled up napkin at her. “Gross!”

“Karma.” He stuck out his tongue before taking a sip of his Dr. Pepper. He let out a loud sigh and fell back against the vinyl booth. “I don’t want to go study.”

“Take the night off.”

“I can’t.” He whined.

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Because it’ll mess with your strict studying schedule?”

“.....Maybe.”

“Alex, you really do need to take a break. Go watch a movie or something.”

“Yeah.” He trailed off. Without thinking about it he whipped out his phone and began typing. He got a response right away. “Alright I’m watching a movie at Henry’s place. He’s never seen Mean Girls so we’re watching that.” 

June sighed. “That boy has some serious catching up to do.”

Alex noticed the unsaid words between them. 

He ignored them.

He was ignoring a lot of things recently.

“How have I never seen this movie before?” Henry asked after he finished dying laugh from Cady falling into a trashcan. 

“Because you’re a sheltered child?” Alex asked. He was curled up on the couch in Henry and Pez’s apartment. Henry was on the other end under a blanket with a bowl of popcorn that he was now throwing a bit at Alex. Alex threw some back.

“God it’s been far too long since I’ve actually just sat down and watched a movie. I’ve been killing myself over these essays.” Henry sighed. “How are you not dead yet?”

“Oh believe me I am, I just hide it well.” Alex smirked as he looked back at the screen. 

“Teach me your ways.”

“It’s called making a lot of lists and using a planner. And then actually following the planner.” 

Henry was silent for a beat before shaking his head. “Yeah not doing that.”

“You are such a liberal arts major.” 

“Says the government major.”

“Better than the _English_ major.” Alex raised an eyebrow.

Henry shrugged as he sank back into the cushions. “I’m thinking of switching it.”

Alex straightened up. “You are? Why?”

Henry didn’t turn away from the screen. “I dunno it’s just not a viable degree. I might be better in international relations.”

Alex frowned. He didn’t know Henry as well as he wished but he knew that the boy loved his major and could talk about the books he was reading for class for hours. He looked so cute in those little horn-rimmed glasses he wore when he was studying late at the library, hair all askew as he annotated his book, pen in his mouth and eyebrows scrunched together just so. “What brought this on?”

Henry looked down at the blanket and picked at it a little. “My parents made some good points, that’s all. And the class we have together even counts towards the degree anyways.” 

“But what do _you_ want to do?” He asked softly but his voice firm.

Henry finally looked at Alex and shrugged with a little sad smile. “I’m not paying the bills am I?”

Alex suddenly felt a sharp pang of sadness. He wasn’t sure what to say to that.

Henry coughed. “Anyways, I can’t change it mid semester so I’ve got time to think.” 

“Yeah.” Alex said softly. 

They got back to the movie, though he wasn’t as into it as before. It was still early when it ended and Alex suggested She’s the Man for the next movie. Yet another Henry hadn’t seen. Alex stayed awake for most of it but by the end he felt his eyes start to get heavy as he was snuggled under his blanket and slowly falling into the very plush cushions. 

He jerked awake at the sound of someone walking into the kitchen and he blinked sleepily. “Oh shit, I fell asleep.” He said, voice drowsy. 

“Yup. I enjoyed the movie though.” Henry said as he stood in the kitchen and drank from a glass of water. 

Alex stretched before falling back into the cushions and let out a groan. “Ugh I don’t want to walk back to my place.”

“You can sleep on the couch if you want.” Henry said as he placed the glass in the sink. 

“You don’t mind?” He murmured as his eyes were starting to get heavy once again. 

“Nope. We can go get breakfast tomorrow or something and then go the this costume shop you keep talking about.” 

“Mmm good plan.” He hummed and let his eyes close once more. 

It was one of the best sleeps he had gotten in ages. 

He woke up again when he heard someone rustling around in the kitchen and he shifted, eyes opening to the sunlight coming through the slats in the blinds. He had shifted farther down on the couch, both blankets over him. He had no recollection of either of these things. He poked his head up over the back of the couch to see Henry with his back to him only in boxers and socks. Alex felt himself stare until Henry turned around. God his hair looked so fluffy in the morning.

That soft smile Henry was giving him was a lot.

“Morning.” Henry greeted him. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah actually. Best in a while.” 

“You must have been sleeping shite if you sleep the best on the couch.”

“Or maybe you just have a comfy couch.” Alex said as he sat up and threw the blankets off. His shirt was very wrinkled and his sweatpants were all askew. He fixed them as he stood up. “Do you think I could borrow a shirt? I’d rather not go out into public looking like this.”

Henry laughed and nodded. “It might be a little big on you but sure. You uh...you might also want to fix your hair.” 

His hands went to his hair and he sighed loudly. His curls felt crushed and wild at the same time. 

“Do you want to just take a shower?” Henry asked.

“You don’t mind?” It felt like they were rehashing their conversation from last night. There was something about Henry that made Alex not want to overstep his bounds. 

“Nah I don’t mind.”

“Cool, thanks bro.” 

“There’s extra towels in the cabinet.” Henry said as he turned away back to where the electric kettle was beeping. 

He made his way into the bathroom and turn on the water, his eyes wandering over everything in a very Henry space. Expensive skin care, expensive cologne, expensive hair products. Typical.

He used all of it. 

He exited the bathroom to find Henry on the couch with a mug of tea looking at his laptop. The boy looked up and Alex saw he was wearing those damn glasses. That coupled with the fluffy hair was...something. 

“I hate to ask but can I borrow underwear too? I get a little weird about rewearing shit.”

Henry laughed and set his laptop and mug to the side before gesturing Alex move into his room so he can get dressed. Henry opened his dresser and Alex saw just how neat everything was. He was already embarrassed to think about his own dresser back in his room. Henry handed him a pair of underwear and a simple cotton t-shirt that was incredibly soft.

“Thanks man. Once I get dressed we can go get breakfast.” 

Henry nodded and left him to it. He quickly changed and rubbing the towel through his hair, running his fingers through it before placing the towel back in Henry’s bathroom and heading out to the living room and pulled on his Nikes. Thank god it was cold enough to justify sweats otherwise he would be wearing nothing but Henry’s clothes. The shirt was a little loose on him but not too bad. It seemed Henry like things tighter than Alex preferred so it worked in his favor. 

“I’m introducing you to breakfast tacos.” He said bluntly and Henry gave him a worried expression. “You’re gonna love them. Better than whatever the fuck you Brits call breakfast.”

Alex drove them towards South Congress and by a miracle found a parking spot. They chatted as Alex lead them towards his favorite food truck and bought them both three tacos each. 

Henry looked a little hesitant on how to eat them.

Alex demonstrated. 

Henry copied.

Henry let out an appreciative noise at the taste.

Alex beamed

He even managed to get Henry to try salsa and was pleasantly surprised when Henry actually liked the taste.

“So you like spicy? I mean this salsa’s pretty mild but I thought you Brits hated all the spices that you spent centuries pillaging for.” Alex asked around his taco.

“I don’t mind it. I have my limits though. Pez dared me to eat a ghost pepper once and I was crying for an entire day.”

Alex’s eyebrows shot up. “Please tell me he has this on video.” 

“Maybe if you’re nice I’ll let you see it.” Henry grinned behind his aviators.

“Define nice?”

“As in...don’t make fun of my British sensibilities for an entire day.”

“Nope, can’t do it. I’ll ask Pez for it, he’ll crack in a minute.” 

Henry let out a laugh and went back to finishing his taco. Alex went back to his own. They finished and Alex walked them down South Congress while Henry took in the sights. If he stared up the street he could see the buildings of downtown. He always enjoyed that. Made his heart swell a little in pride.

“Here we are.” Alex opened up his arms at the shop that had what was probably 50 different pop culture portraits all meshed together on the outside and the name “Lucy in Disguise” in funky 70s print. Inside the shop was rows and rows of racks all haphazardly jumbled together all holding some sort of costume. 

“Wow.” Was all Henry had to say as he looked up before turning to Alex with a slightly alarmed look. “You Americans go big or go home don’t you?”

“That’s fucking right. Let’s get you a costume.” 

They browse the aisles, laughing at the absurd ones, pretending to consider going as a hamburger or a Mr. Potato Head. Eventually they broke apart because Alex insisted that they needed to make their costume a surprise for each other. They each rented a costume, keeping it in the bag as they walked out back into the somewhat cool fall air. 

Alex took them down SoCo, showing Henry the different shops. They browse a few of them. Henry bought a little figurine of a longhorn. Alex ignored the way his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. They stopped for lunch at another food truck. Henry got a hamburger after Alex inisited while Alex got chicken fingers. Eventually the sun bled into the sky and Alex dragged Henry quickly toward the South Congress bridge. 

“Why are we waiting by a bridge Alex?” Henry asked but there was no fire behind it. 

“Just wait.” Alex said as they joined the crowd. It’s not too busy considering it’s a bit of a tourist off season. The sun was nearly gone and it turned into a faint grey color against the sky. 

Then…

“Oh wow.” Henry breathed as thousands of bats streamed out from under the bridge and made the sky look like pinpoints of darkness for just a second before it went back to grey. Henry put his hand on Alex’s shoulder and Alex turned but Henry wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at the creatures flying into the night, just waking up to start their morning. Alex turned back to the sky with a smile on his face, not wanting Henry’s hand to leave his shoulder. 

Eventually the bats slow down, only a few stragglers left behind.

“That was brilliant.” Henry beamed in the near darkness. Alex nodded.

“Pretty cool huh? Austin isn’t so bad after all.” 

“Nope it’s growing on me.” Henry said though the way Henry’s eyes seemed to see right into Alex’s soul made him shiver a little. 

“Ready to head back?”

Henry gestured for Alex to lead the way.

He dropped Henry off at his apartment, vowing to return his shirt and underwear the next time they saw each other.

“Don’t worry about it.” Henry brushed it off. Alex heard the unspoken words. _They look better on you._

Perhaps that was in his head.

He did return the shirt and underwear on Monday when they saw each other in class.

“Oh, thanks.” Henry said as he put them in his backpack. “So I still don’t really know what we do on Halloween?”

“Well we’re going to 6th street and you’re going to be in for a time.” Alex explained. “Then my frat has a party on Saturday if you wanted to come to that as well.”

“Is it okay to wear the same costume to both?”

“Ew no.”

“Oh.” Henry said a little downfallen. 

Alex whacked him. “I’m kidding, of course it’s fine.”

“Oh.” Henry brightened.

Alex just smiled to himself as the lecture got started.

**Prince Charming**: Are we meeting at 6th street or are we meeting somewhere else?  
**Alexander**: we can meet in front of the co-op and take the bus  
**Alexander**: you do know what a bus is right?  
**Prince Charming**: Aaand there goes the ghost pepper video never to be seen again  
**Alexander**: it was a valid question!  
**Prince Charming**: Yes I know what a bus is Alex. Meet at 8?  
**Alexander**: oh no, more like 10  
**Prince Charming**: Are you serious?  
**Alexander**: doesn’t europe not start going out till ike midnight? This should be nothing  
**Prince Charming**: I mean we do have class tomorrow…  
**Alexander**: are you backing out on me now princess?  
**Prince Charming**: I guess I can adopt the Alex look for tomorrow’s class  
**Alexander**: there you go. See you later

“Holy shit. Holy shit you look great!” Alex yelled as he came up to Henry who was standing awkwardly in front of the Co-op. 

“Hey!” Henry pushed off from the wall. “You look great too. Are you...Danny Zuko?”

“Oh so he knows musicals but he doesn’t know Mean Girls? Your American knowledge is patchy as fuck.” Alex laughed. He did a little spin before laughing again. He had seen the Thunderbirds jacket and knew it was for him. He had managed to get his curly hair into a pompadour with some help from a lot of grease that still made him a little grossed out at but it worked nonetheless. 

Henry on the other hand was wearing a similar hat to the one he had worn for the Duckie costume though less haphazardly on his head. He had khaki pants, a button down that was barely buttoned and a leather jacket on top. It was the curled up whip that sealed the deal. 

“Indiana Jones huh? Would have taken you for more of a Star Wars fan.” Alex grinned.

“Oh I am but it felt a little overdone when I saw three other guys choose a jedi costume. Believe me I would have gone for Luke but I decided to shake things up.” Henry said.

“Well look what the cat drag in.” 

They both turned and saw Nora and June walking up. Both were wearing Sailor Moon costumes though Nora was wearing a navy and yellow one with her short hair tousled and June a green one with her hair in a high ponytail. 

“This was your big surprise? Sailor Moon?” Alex crossed his arms but smiled nonetheless.

“Says Danny Zuko.” Nora stuck out her tongue. 

“Where’s Pez?” June asked, looking around.

“Right here baybay.” Pez walked up in a blue velvet suit.

“He insisted on waiting till everyone was here before making his entrance.” Henry whispered to Alex.

“I would expect nothing less.” Alex whispered back. “What’s up Austin Powers?”

June giggled as Pez took her hand and kissed it. Alex caught Henry’s gaze and rolled his eyes. Henry snickered. 

When the bus came they all piled on with the rest of the costumed students. He saw at least three jedis and he elbowed Henry and nodded to them. 

“See what I mean?” Henry gave him a knowing look.

“I like you better as Indiana Jones anyways.” Alex shot back. “You don’t get to show off a little titty if you’re wearing a robe.” He winked and Henry looked away quickly. 

6th street was a chaotic mess of costumed people all shouting at each other and buying shots. Alex loved it.

Henry on the other hand suddenly looked nervous.

“Stick with me pal.” Alex bumped him with his shoulder and Henry’s expression softened a little. 

They made their way through the crowds, stopping to take a few pics for the people that wanted a picture with Pez or with June and Nora. He didn’t care that no one wanted one with him. He felt a surge of jealousy though when girls started to ask for a picture with Henry.

“Lets get a drink!” He yelled over the crowd and they made their way into the first bar that they could. Alex didn’t even look at the name, he just wanted to drink to push down the annoyance at seeing Henry with those girls. 

They bar hopped and Alex got suitably drunk, his tongue loosening. 

“Do I know this girl that you like?” He asked at one of the bars where they had found their way to the rooftop to watch the crowds. 

“What?” Henry asked and Alex repeated the question. “Oh erm…” He said awkwardly before Pez dragged them both onto the dance floor and Alex let the music cascade through him as the alcohol sang in his veins. 

They circled back to each other.

“If I know her, I can probably introduce her to you.” He said, bringing it up again. He wasn’t sure why he was pushing it, he just wanted to see if Henry actually liked someone or if he was just losing it.

Henry was silent as he took another shot. “I need to use the loo.” He said and disappeared through the crowd. 

Alex felt something start to simmer. Why was Henry avoiding this question? Whatever. He forgot about it as he danced with June and Nora and then some random girl in an angel costume that looked more like lingerie than anything.

It was 2 in the morning and last call. They made their way back to the bus and got off when it deposited them back in front of the Co-op. They made their way through West Campus, Pez and Henry splitting off while he, June and Nora split a different way until he was alone and fell into his bed.

Class the next day was a nightmare. He and Henry both were wearing hoodies with the hoods pulled up and barely staying awake, neither of them having their laptops open to take notes.

“How do you do this so often?” Henry whisper groaned.

“I honestly don’t even know.” Alex whispered back with a wince. 

“I had fun last night though.”

Alex turned slightly to look at him with a faint smile. “Me too. You still coming to the party tomorrow?”

“If I’m even alive by then. I think my liver is eating itself.” 

“You’ll live.”

Henry laughed softly to himself as they both hunkered down in the plush chairs of the auditorium. 

Alex spent most of Saturday helping set up. He felt a little bad that he hadn’t really been helping out as much recently but he hadn’t gotten complaints from the members. They were more than happy to see him out on the patio though. He scattered several cobwebs across the DJ stage and helped set up the tent. The day went by quickly to the point that he had to be forced to go take a shower and get ready by his social chair. 

He slicked his hair back once more and stared at himself in the mirror on his desk. 

“You’re fine.” He whispered to himself.

He definitely was not thinking about Henry and that whip.

He took several shots before the party even started so already he was on a good level when Nora and June arrived. This time Nora was dressed as a goth queen, crown and all while June was wearing a Wonder Woman costume that looked straight out of the movie.

“You have _two_ costumes?” He asked

“We aren’t amatures babe.” Nora winked at him, showing off her heavy dark eye makeup. “I’m the female Hades.” She said with a little curtsy.

Alex laughed and steered them to take shots. By the time Henry and Pez arrived he was very very drunk.

“Henry!” He yelled in a greeting and Henry jolted a little at the loudness. “You made it! Come take some shots.”

Henry did of course, taking two though from what Alex saw it looked like Henry had pregamed a little.

Pez stage whispered to Alex. “He gets nervous at things like this.” 

“Oh shut up I do not.” Henry groaned and punched Pez lightly on the arm. 

“No worries babe, it’s just how you are.” Pez gave Henry a kiss on the cheek. Tonight Pez was wearing a white tank tucked into jeans with a spiked bracelet around his bicep.

“I think everyone but us two decided to get a second costume.” Alex muttered, giving Pez and the girls a death glare.

“I can’t hear you over my Freddie Mercury.” Pez said in a sing-song voice.

Henry snickered as he took a long pull from his beer. 

“Whatever, we both look hot don’t we Henry?” Alex stuck out his tongue.

“Erm, right.” Henry said as he swallowed his drink quickly. 

They went out onto the patio to dance. Alex was orbiting throughout the crowd once more in his element. He kept making his way back to Henry who was again on the outskirts. Alex was sweating at this point as he took a break, grabbing another beer. 

“So is this girl here?” He asked abruptly. 

Henry looked at him before looking out into the crowd. He made it seem like he was searching for someone but Alex saw the far off look in his eyes, even with his own vision swimming a little. Henry shook his head before taking another shy sip of his beer. 

“Well...see anyone you fancy?” He asked, the last word in Henry’s posh accent. “There’s got to be a least someone here you find hot.” 

Henry swallowed and Alex watched his Adam’s apple move. “I’m gonna go to the loo.” He said before moving inside. Alex frowned. Alright he had had enough of this dodging the question. He followed Henry and when the boy opened the bathroom door he slipped inside right before he closed it. “Alex what are you--” Henry asked as he shut the door.

“Why are you avoiding my question? I’m trying to get you laid man.” Alex crossed his arms.

“I don’t--” Henry started.

“You don’t what? You don’t like anyone here? Are us Americans not good enough for you?” Now he was starting to get heated. He wasn’t really sure why.

“No, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

Henry opened his mouth before shutting it, not looking Alex in the eye. 

“Seriously Henry what the hell?” He uncrossed his arms and pushed Henry a little bit. “Your uppity attitude is getting really annoying.”

“Don’t push me.” Henry said.

Alex pushed him again, this time a little harder. 

“Alex, don’t.”

“Why?” Alex pushed him again. “Are you actually going to show some goddamn emotion?” 

“Stop it.” Henry’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t push back.

Alex pushed him again, this time into the wall. “Come on Henry, show some goddamn emotion.” 

“I said stop it.” Henry stood up straighter and towered over Alex a little. Alex wasn’t threatened. He had taken on guys much bigger than him before. 

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because what?” Alex pushed him again as Henry moved off the wall. He stepped closer. 

Henry glared at him but when Alex looked closer he saw something else swimming in the blue eyes. He opened his mouth to speak again, to try and goad Henry into actually opening up and sharing an actual piece of information about himself when he felt Henry reach out and grasp him by the arms and pull him in. He felt Henry’s lips against his own and he let out a sound of surprise, eyes widening. Henry’s eyes were closed as the boy’s lips moved against his and he then let out a sound that wasn’t surprise but something else entirely as he felt himself melt a little against Henry’s lips. 

It was over too quickly and Henry was pushing Alex back, a look of horror on his face. Alex’s face was frozen in surprise.

“What was--” Alex said automatically and Henry jerked away and opened the door with haste and ran away, leaving Alex still standing in the middle of the bathroom, stunned. It was like his brain was short-circuiting and he wasn’t sure what to do. When he finally got it turned back on he knew it was too late to go and try and find Henry. From the way the boy was booking it he was probably sprinting towards his apartment while texting an apology to Pez. 

He went back out into the party in a daze, pretending to go through the motions but the entire time his thoughts were on Henry and that kiss. 

IN DRAFTS

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Subject: 

I didn’t realize

I’m sorry

I’m sorry for standing there not doing anything

I’m sorry for not running after you

I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you back

Do you wish to send?

IN DRAFTS

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: I’m sorry

Dear Alex,

I have left you in quite a predicament. I’m sincerely sorry that I did that to you, that I crossed that boundary. Of course you didn’t kiss me back. Why would you? Why would a beautiful man with sparkling eyes and a wicked mouth kiss someone like me back? You are like trying to kiss the sun and I shouldn’t have been surprised when I got burned. 

I have ruined things haven’t I? I’ve just been so caught up in the idea of you and the way you look at me sometimes made my heart beat harder and my hands sweat at the thought of what could be. I was reading into things. I was seeing things that weren’t there, hoping, praying that you saw the same things too. 

I’ve written about you in my creative writing classes. I’ve written about you in my journals. I’ve written about you in my head. 

I’ve written about the idea of you and never stopped to wonder if it was all in my dreams. If I was staring up at the ceiling and seeing something that wasn’t there. If the boy in my head was the same as the one in the flesh. 

It seems the one on the flesh had rightfully and truly shattered the one in my thoughts. Now I’m left in the ashes and dust and just wondering if I have the strength to face you after what I have done.

I’m sorry.

Always,  
Henry

Do you wish to send?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't mind me just SCREAMING INTO THE VOID RIGHT NOW. This is the story of how I died tbh. (Also lowkey I love writing Henry's emails because he's just so eloquent isn't he? Ugh I love him so much. I love them BOTH so much) ANyways please leave me little messages of screaming because honestly you guys are the reason I continue to write (I say like this story hasn't totally gripped me and taken a hold of me)
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY:  
**South Congress**: A lovely little shopping area south of Downtown Austin. It's got that cheesy 'I love you so much' mural. You know that one. Also called _SoCo_ by the locals. The bridge that connects downtown to SoCo has thousands of bats that live under it and at dusk they all come flying out like it's amazing tbh  
**Lucy in Disguise**: a killer costume rental shop that's very Austin like. Google it, the outside is amazing  
**6th Street**: A very famous part of Austin that's an entire street of just bars. During the night they block it off and it's open to walk in the middle of the street and bar hop. On Halloween they turn up BIG so like obviously it had to be in the story right?


	5. crash and burn

**Alexander**: Hey

**Alexander**: Are you not coming to class?

**Alexander**: the sorority girls asked about you today

**Alexander**: you’re skipping again? And they call me the dangerous slacker type

**Alexander**: henry now i’m starting to worry

**Alexander**: i hope you’re okay

IN DRAFTS

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: I am utterly useless

Dearest Alex,

As I type this from my bed (having not left it in three days other than to keep myself alive) I wonder what you’re doing. I see your texts. I ignore your calls (very old school of you by the way. I much prefer conversing through the written word. You’re able to backspace or scratch out the words when they don’t go your way). I hear your concern in the voicemails. I wonder why you care that much about me but not enough to bang on my apartment door like a Tom Hanks 90s romcom. 

Is that entirely silly of me? To want to be treated like a Meg Ryan or a Julia Roberts or a Sandra Bullock? 

I suppose in a way I am one of those women save for the fact that I’m a man. 

I can’t tell you that the idea of seeing you in person shakes me to my very core. I can’t tell you that the thought of looking into your eyes and having to explain to you that the very first day of class I chose you because you had this bright eyed look to you. I can’t possibly put into words that when I saw you the next class in your hoodie surrounded by sharp words it make me want you even more. 

How can I tell you that I’ve fancied you this entire semester and when you decided to let me into your life was the day that I felt like I started to truly live? It’s embarrassing and utterly broken of me to put myself into you and hope that you receive me. 

But then you did receive me, and with open arms too. You brought me into your world and let me see the best parts of it. Your love and exuberance for life make me want to feel just a small iota of what you feel. How can I tell you that there are pieces of me missing that I never even knew were gone? How can I tell you that when I kissed you I felt something shift inside me and it scared me so much the idea that you wouldn’t want me in that way that I’ve run and refuse to look back? 

I know I will never send this email but putting this into words makes it a little better.

I know I have to face you eventually and I know I will be shaking the entire time.

Please be gentle with me.

Because I know I will not survive if you don’t.

Entirely yours,  
Henry

Do you wish to send?

[_ VOICEMAIL TRANSCRIPT: THURSDAY 1:14AM _]

Henry, what the fuck man? I’ve been calling you all week and leaving you these voice mails and texting you. I’m worried about you man. The professor literally asked me about you today and I had to cover your ass and say you were sick. She said that was okay because she’s still getting your work but [ _silence for 5 seconds before a rustle and a loud sigh_ ] It’s past one am and I know that you’re probably asleep right now but come on. [ _another 5 seconds of silence and then softer_ ] I miss you.

[ _VOICEMAIL TRANSCRIPT: SATURDAY 2:49AM_ ]

[ _loud music in the background_ ] Henry! You dumb fucking prick I’m going to blow up your goddamn phone until you text me or call me back or _something_. Pez said you’re still alive so I’m only going on that and the fact that your apartment complex is like a fucking Fort Knox or some shit. I can’t _believe_ I’m out at a party and calling your dumb motherfucking ass when I should be dancing with a hot girl. You know what, fuck you. 

[ _VOICEMAIL TRANSCRIPT: SATURDAY 3:02AM_ ]

[ _quieter_ ] I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. I just [ _silence for 10 seconds_ ] You’ve made me rethink everything okay? I don’t [ _softer, broken_ ] I don’t know what to do.

Alex was having a crisis. Granted he had a crisis at least once a week but this was a big one. This was a huge one. This was one of those life changing ones that when he was looking into the face of it it felt like it was all he could see.

The day after the Halloween party he had spent in his room under his covers and ignoring all communications other than the West Wing. He wasn’t really watching it, he had seen it all the way through at least 7 times. His head was working through what had happened. He found himself thinking if he found Rob Lowe hot or not (spoiler alert: He did). He found himself wondering if he thought he found Bradley Whitford hot (hot take: He did). He found himself thinking back on all the media he had consumed over the years and wondered who he had a crush on and found himself realizing that there was a reason he had watched Top Gun so many times growing up.

“Fuck.” He whispered to himself under the covers as the day turned into night and he realized tomorrow he would have to see Henry in person first thing in the morning and he had no idea what he was going to say. 

He didn’t have to figure out what to say because Henry wasn’t in class. He sent the boy a quick text but didn’t get a response. 

He didn’t have to figure out what to say the next class because Henry wasn’t there again.

By Friday when Henry still didn’t show up he was rightfully worried. He had been worried about the first absence but now it was verging on delinquency status and Henry was not a delinquent.

He had gone out with some of the fraternity brothers but he hadn’t enjoyed it. They had sensed his sour mood and decided to treat him at the bars but nothing felt right. Every time he looked at a hot woman he found his eyes shifting to her boyfriend and his thoughts went to Henry. 

_Fuck_ it was so selfish of Henry to do that to him. 

He had told him so over one of the many voicemails of course but then he felt terrible and left one that a person would only leave if they felt more than a friendship. He could easily chalk it up to the alcohol but he knew that would be lying. Alexander Claremont-Diaz was a lot of things but he was not a liar. He only spoke the awful truth, especially when that truth came spilling out of him under the haze of street lights and the warmth of tequila. 

So he turned to the one thing that he could let himself do, run until he couldn’t feel anything anymore. 

He hadn’t been running for a while, either too focused on school or too focused on having a good time. It felt good to feel the burn and the ache and his breath coming out ragged. 

He wasn’t sure where he was running to until he got there and was standing in front of the dome of the capitol.

“Shit.” He muttered to himself and without really thinking more about it, he walked right in.

There were field trips of kids that were a head shorter than he was. There were groups of tourists who were taking pictures of the star at the very top of the domed ceiling. He ignored all of them and instead made a beeline towards the wings where the offices were located.

He ignored all of the suits though some of them gave him a nod as he walked by. He honestly didn’t care that he was sweaty and only in shorts and a t-shirt, headphones still in blaring music that he wasn’t listening to. 

He plopped down in front of one Rafael Luna who looked up with an arch of his eyebrow and continued his call. 

Alex looked out his window until Rafael hung up and folded his hands together on top of his desk. “What brings you to my office oh sweaty one?”

“How did you know you were gay?” 

Rafael’s eyebrows shot up and he leaned back in his leather backed chair. “So we’re just jumping in huh? What brought this up?”

Alex looked down as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. He was silent for a moment and Raf didn’t push him. “My friend kissed me.” He said softly, nervously.

“Is this Henry?” Raf asked.

Alex nodded, still not looking up. This was so unlike him. He was never one to be _nervous_, to be afraid to look one of his closest family friends in the eye, but still so desperate to talk it out. 

“How did you feel about it?” Raf asked. The tone was caring and supportive. 

Alex shrugged. “In the moment I was too shocked to say or do anything. He just left and I was just standing there.”

“And now?”

Alex scoffed and leaned back against his chair, a burst of anger running through him. “Well I don’t exactly know do I? Why else would I be here?”

Rafael looked at him with a bit of sadness but Alex didn’t feel pity coming from him. More like Raf was looking in a mirror at his younger self. Without saying anything Rafael opened the drawer of his desk and took out a giant bag of skittles, the kind you can reseal. Alex couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the look of it sitting there on the desk of a state senator. 

“An intern bought them for me.” Rafael grinned and opened it and took out a small handful. He didn’t offer them to Alex, knowing Alex would take them regardless. 

They sat there eating skittles in silence. 

“I knew when I first found myself looking more at guys than girls. I think it was River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves in My Own Private Idaho that really pushed me over the edge.” 

“That is so gay of you.” Alex said after a moment before smiling a little. He had pulled one foot up on the seat and was leaning against his leg, arms wrapped around it. 

“I think that’s the point Alex.” Raf said dryly before they both laughed. “Do you like Henry?” He asked after a pause. 

Alex sighed, his cheek up against his knee as he looked out the window onto the mall of the capitol building. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about guys in that context before, at least I don’t think. Now it’s all I can think about. I literally have gone through my entire childhood and thought about it through that lens and it’s just made me more confused.” 

Raf leaned back in his chair and nodded, chewing thoughtfully. “If I put a gun against your head right now and asked you that question again what would you say?”

“I would say that you need to get to writing better gun reform laws.” Alex shot back and Raf rolled his eyes. “I think I would say yes.” He continued in an almost whisper. He finally looked back at Raf, eyes a little sad. “He won’t return any of my texts or calls though. How am I supposed to know?”

“I think he needs some time. I don’t know this Henry but from the way you’ve spoken about him before makes it sound like you care about him a lot.” Raf said and Alex looked down at his shoes and he let out another sigh. 

“Why is life so hard?”

“Because if it wasn’t it would be boring.” Raf said easily. 

Alex heard a door open behind them and he didn’t turn but Raf looked up at the intern who let him know that his next meeting was here. 

“I’d better go.” He said, getting to his feet. 

“You better go say hello to your mom, she’d kill me if she found out you visited me but not her.” Raf said with a smile. Alex let out a huff of a laugh and nodded. He turned to go before Raf spoke again. “Alex,” He turned back to Raf. “It’ll get better. Just give it some time.”

Alex gave Raf a half smile before nodding his thanks and he slipped out the door. He made his way up to the second floor, a common route he took. 

“Good god what the hell are you wearing?” 

“Running gear?” He said as he walked into the office of one Texas Governor, Ellen Claremont.

“Alex,” She said as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “This is the capitol, not our house.” 

He plopped down and put his feet up on the desk. “Well technically since you’re the governor it _is_ our house.”

“Feet off.” Ellen said and Alex put his feet down but only when Ellen gave him a look that told him she was not in the mood and had probably just come out of a meeting with 15 old white men who were threatened by the fact she had boobs. Just a normal day. She squinted at him. “What’s up with you? You look off.”

“Good to see you too.” He muttered. “Nothing’s off, I’m just stressed over finals coming up. If the fact that I ran all the way from the fraternity house tells you anything.”

She continued to study him for a moment. “I’ll let it slide if only because I want you to be open and honest with me and come to me when you’re ready to talk but I know that’s not all that’s on your mind.” 

“You’re truly a witch you know that?”

Ellen smiled at him and winked. “Call it mom’s intuition. How’s Rafael?”

“Jesus, I just left his office.” 

“You know we have a tight knit ship here right? He was right to send you to me because I definitely would have ripped him a new asshole if he didn’t encourage you to come here before you left. I want to talk about Thanksgiving. We’re still doing it at the lakehouse but if you want to invite anyone you’re free to do so. What about inviting Henry? He’s British right? That means he probably doesn’t want to fly home for three days only to fly right back. Besides he could learn about American traditions.”

Alex kept in the flinch at Henry’s name coming out of his mom’s mouth.

“June’s filled me in. If only because you’re the worst at actually telling your mother things.” 

“Such a traitor.” 

Ellen rolled her eyes. “So do you want to invite him or not?”

“Um...let me get back to you on that one.” He said attempting to keep the awkwardness in his voice to a minimum. He knew it was no use though, his mom was like a drug dog when it came to her children.

“Are you two on the outs?” She asked, looking up from her phone that had buzzed.

“No, not exactly. Well...maybe...I don’t know, he’s been avoiding me but he has to come to class eventually.” He explained without going into detail.

Ellen studied him again and he squirmed a little under the scrutiny of it all. She had a habit of finding the smallest detail and picking at it until he opened up, he just hoped that she wouldn’t today. He wasn’t sure he wanted to tell his mom that he was having a bit of a gay crisis. 

“Right, well, give him hell when you do see him again.” She said right before her secretary came in to let her know that her next meeting was here.

“Witchcraft.” He gasped in a fake sort of awe.

“You know it.” She winked at him. “Love you baby.”

“Love you too mom.” He rose to give her a kiss on the cheek before dodging the next old white man who was coming into the room. He looked back and rolled his eyes at her. She gave him a smile and waved before he was gone. 

It was a long walk back to the fraternity house (he was a little annoyed that his mom didn’t offer to drive him back but he supposed he had caused that himself showing up in the capitol all sweaty and gross). It gave him time to think about what Rafael had said. Sometimes he forgot that people processed things differently than him. He had a habit of taking things head on when they were bothering him, hence his reasoning for blowing up Henry’s phone. He forgot that some people shut themselves away and worked through it by themselves. 

He supposed he would give Henry time but he wasn’t happy about it.

**Buggie**: You alright?  
**Best Brother**: why would I not be alright?  
**Buggie**: don’t play coy with me, Pez filled me in that Henry hasn’t been at class in a week. I don’t want to ask what happened but uh I’m asking what happened.  
**Best Brother**: it’s nothing June  
**Buggie**: You know you can trust me right?

**Buggie**: Alex?

**Buggie**: please talk to me

**Buggie**: that’s it, i’m coming over

“I honestly don’t know what to do Bug.” Alex said softly. He and June were on his twin bed, he against the headboard, she against the wall. He let his head fall back and looked up at the ceiling at the stain that looked a little like Henry. “I’ve never had someone shut me out like this before.”

June reached out and took Alex’s hand and squeezed it. “Welcome to the world of ghosting my friend.” 

“I’m being serious.” Alex snapped and June’s expression softened.

“I know. Henry’s not the type to keep away forever though. He’s too nice for that.” 

Alex let out a sigh and let his head fall back against the headboard a few times. “This fucking sucks. I’m not even sure if I like him like _that_ but I want to talk to him at least.”

“Oh babe.” June scooted closer to Alex so that she was squished up between the wall and his body and wrapped her arms around him. He let himself fall into her shoulder as he felt the slight tingle of tears start at the back of his eyes. “I think the fact that you’re so torn up about it means that you might like him like that.” She whispered and Alex stiffened in her arms but didn’t break away.

“This fucking sucks.” He repeated into her shoulder and she hugged him tighter. 

“If he doesn’t come to class this week let me know and I will literally break down his door.” June said with a fierceness to her voice and he let out a watery laugh.

“You’re the best.” He murmured.

“I know.” June hummed.

He didn’t have to actually call in the June reinforcements because the next Monday Henry actually was in class but he felt something tear inside him when he didn’t sit next to Alex, instead preferring to sit a few rows in front so Alex had to stare at his stupid golden head the entire lecture. He didn’t pay attention for a second, just slowly seething inside at the sudden appearance. Henry didn’t even have the gall to look at him when he had walked past.

As soon as the lecture was over Alex jumped up but Henry was too fast, moving to the opposite side of the row and Alex was stuck waiting for the people in his row to get out of his way.

“Henry!” He called out as Henry walked down the stairs. Henry didn’t turn around. “Fucker.” He muttered under his breath as he hurried as quick as he could without actually falling and ran to catch up. He jumped in front of Henry who quickly backpedaled to not run into Alex. “Hey, I was yelling at you.” He seethed.

Henry didn’t look him in the eyes. “Hello Alex.” 

“Seriously? That’s all you’ve got for me?” He crossed his arms and Henry looked around.

“Can we not do this here?” He said awkwardly. Alex wanted to say no but he supposed he did feel a little bad that people had to dodge around them in the middle of the sidewalk.

He reached out and grabbed Henry and pulled him to the side under a tree. “This better?” He said in an almost cruel way. “What the fuck Henry?”

Henry didn’t look at him and shifted his backpack a little on his shoulder. He looked like a wounded puppy and Alex suddenly felt guilty.

“Why have you not even let me know that you’re alive? Why did I have to hear it from Pez?”

“I know that was...stupid of me.” Henry ran his hand through his hair. He still hadn’t looked at Alex.

Alex was silent for a moment and crossed his arms. “You’re my friend Henry. Even after everything, you’re still my friend and I care about you. Please don’t do that to me.” His voice was softer and Henry finally let his eyes slowly draw up to Alex’s. He saw the pain and the uneasiness there. He wanted desperately to make it better. “I don’t care that you kissed me. Well...I mean it’s definitely made me rethink a lot of things in my life but a kiss doesn’t ruin a friendship. I’m not some backwater hick.” 

Henry shifted on his feet. “I’m sorry I did that to you. It was a mistake.” 

Alex felt something tear inside again. He had had to deal with this for only a week but he felt like Henry had had to deal with this for a lot longer. “A mistake?” He whispered without even thinking about it.

Henry studied him for a moment before sighing. “Yes Alex. A mistake. A drunken mistake.” 

Now something broke.

“Right. Well.” Alex straightened, spine going tight. “At least you’re out of your hole. Don’t do that to me again.” 

He pushed everything down. All the feelings he had been dealing with, all the uncertainty, he pushed it down as far as it would go. Henry didn’t like him like that so why had he been stressing? He definitely didn’t like Henry like that. 

Definitely not.

Henry gave Alex a half smile. “Maybe I was waiting to see if you’d actually break and enter.” 

Alex whacked Henry on the arm. “Jerk.”

Henry let out a laugh and Alex’s heart rose a little. “Want to get some food?”

“Yeah, sure.” Alex nodded.

No, he definitely didn’t like Henry like that.

He definitely ignored the fact that hearing Henry’s accent and laugh and seeing his warm smile didn’t send something coursing through him.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahhahahahahhahha WOW OKAY fucking hell am i right? gotta live for the angst tho. Gotta have the angst to get to the cute stuff god bless. Let me know your thoughts because comments are honestly the best and I smile at them every single time I get one so PLS. Also I was trying to get to 20k but alas it was not in the cards. Next time for sure. 
> 
> P.S. rob lowe and bradley whitford in west wing is truly :chef kiss: Alex has good taste
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Governor**: aka the president of a state so like it makes sense for this AU that Ellen's the governor


	6. in this burning house

**Journal Entry: _November 11th_**

I lied today. 

I lie a little bit every day when I put on that mask that says that yes, I am interested in women. That mask that says yes I am a typical heterosexual male. I’ve gotten used to that mask. It helps to move through life just a little bit easier. I know I fit into the typical role, white, blonde, tall, muscled. They expect the mask I put on. 

But I lied to someone that means something to me. 

“A drunken mistake.” 

How could I tell him that it wasn’t true?

I look at all those unsent emails that a braver man would send and I feel myself slip a little. I feel that mask start to crack.

It hurt to look into Alex’s eyes and hope to see something more, that maybe I’m seeing that mask slip a little for him too. 

But how could he even have a mask? He’s so open and honest with everything. It makes me wonder if I could ever be like him. 

I don’t know what to do with this. I don’t want to push things and end up losing Alex. I nearly lost him by ignoring him.

Could he…?

He said he didn’t care that I kissed him but I’ve done this song and dance before. I can’t get my hopes up. It wouldn’t be fair. 

**Journal Entry: _November 14th_**

He’s asked me to Thanksgiving with his family. It’s two weeks away but I already feel butterflies in my stomach at the thought of meeting his parents. He’s explained to me that his parents are divorced but on good terms. 

I’m terrified at the thought though. I’m going as his friend but being trapped at a house for an entire long weekend with the people who have raised Alex? It sounds like heaven and hell all at the same time. I’m utterly frozen at the idea that they might see right through me. 

I’m a fraud.

An utter fraud.

Things were going alright with Alex. He and Henry had patched things up though there was still this force between them. Alex had come to terms with the possibility of nothing happening but once he had come out with the possibility that he liked boys he couldn’t shove it back in. He found himself looking at boys all the time now. He knew he didn’t like any of his fraternity brothers, they were too loud and too much all the time.

No, he kept drifting towards the boys with their hands in their hair as they were stooped over their books in the library. 

Those boys who nibbled on their pencil while pushing up their glasses. 

The blonde haired boys who laughed with their entire soul. 

Goddammit it was like looking into his future, a future that he wasn’t supposed to see. 

Everytime he was in the library studying with Henry his eyes would drift to the other boys in the vicinity and his mind wandered but he always found himself drawn back to Henry and that’s where his daydreams would settle. 

“Fuck June I’m a fucking mess.” He let out a loud groan. He was getting coffee with his sister before his next class. “I mean he’s made it very clear that it was a mistake but now that I’ve opened that box I can’t stop thinking about it. About any guy really.” 

June sipped her coffee thoughtfully. “What if you just did a little experiment? We could go out on 6th street and you find yourself a guy and just kiss him and see if you feel the same?”

It was a couple days before Thanksgiving. Usually he wouldn’t dare go out so close to the lakehouse but honestly he might need to if he was going to get through the weekend with Henry. Maybe it would settle his mind once and for all. 

So this was how he ended up on 6th street the day before Thanksgiving drinking entirely too many tequila shots. 

June was laughing and twirling Nora on the dance floor while he was searching for someone to test this little experiment on. He felt wild and reckless yet still nervous. The girls had chosen a predominately gay bar and the implications had blanketed his actions. He didn’t miss the looks he had gotten at the bar. He didn’t miss the free shots from a group at the end of said bar to which he raised his glass to them but hurried away.

This was new to him okay? He was itching to do something but terrified to do it nonetheless. 

“Hey.” A deep voice sidled up next to him when he had headed back to the bar, figuring June and Nora were fine together.

Alex turned and saw a cheap knock off of his Prince Charming. 

“Hey.” He responded, turning his body a little bit towards the man. If he squinted, he could see the resemblance to Henry and it made his blood sing. 

“What are you drinking?” 

“Tequila.” He said easily and the man let out a rumble of a laugh that sent a drunken thrill through Alex. He could feel a slight blush spread across his cheeks.

“Two tequila shots.” The man ordered and Alex couldn’t tear his eyes away until the drinks landed in front of them. “Cheers.” The man knocked his glass against Alex’s. 

He downed it with only a slight wince before setting the glass on the sticky bar.

“Are you here with someone?” The man asked, leaning against the bar. Alex got a whiff of his cologne. It wasn’t Henry’s.

“No.” He shook his head. “Well I mean my sister and her roommate, well my friend too, but, um...no. I’m not with someone.” He rambled, the nerves suddenly creeping in. The man gave him a slow smile. It wasn’t Henry’s. 

“Do you want to dance?” 

Alex nodded and let the man lead him to the dance floor. It was a club atmosphere and he fell easily into the rhythm, letting his hips do all the work for him. It was much different dancing with a man than a girl. He faced the man whose hands fell to his hips, fingers digging into his skin and dragging Alex closer. He sucked in a breath at the feeling of it. It wasn’t Henry.

He kept looking into those eyes, feeling those fingers against his hip bones, feeling the tension between them. He licked his lips without thinking. 

Then the man was pulling him him in, hand going up to the back of his neck and then Alex was kissing this familiar stranger. 

He let his eyes close, feeling in the moment for a while. He felt the curl of something stir inside him as his hands went around this stranger’s torso, to his hair, everything fast and desperate. 

The man pulled back and Alex’s eyes opened. 

It wasn’t Henry.

He jerked back at that fact.

“I uh...I need some air.” He stumbled over his words and untangled himself from the man and made his way haphazardly out into the street. He sucked in the cool autumn air like it was the only thing that was keeping him from fucking losing it. 

He leaned against the cool brick, letting his eyes glaze over, not really watching the amount of people in the street. He hardly heard the loud shrieks of hordes of sorority girls or the thump of music coming from every bar along the street. 

He had felt something. He did, there was no doubting that. What did that mean? Did he truly like men and women? Did he only like it because that man had looked like Henry? 

Fuck this was one of the very few times he wished he smoked, at least that would give him something to do with his hands. 

This was dumb. Tomorrow he was going to pick up Henry for the weekend and would be trapped with him for the weekend and pretend like he wasn’t having an existential crisis over the fact that he was pretty sure he was very _very_ into the idea of his good friend kissing him until he was breathless. 

“Alex?” June asked, her hand snaking over his shoulder. “You good?”

“I um...I think we should head back.” He swallowed and he pushed off the wall, not looking June or Nora in the eye. He knew they were giving each other a look but they followed him nonetheless.

**Journal Entry: _November 27th_**

I saw him. 

He didn’t see me.

I saw him kissing a man. 

I didn’t mean to look. I honestly didn’t. The windows were open, Pez had suggested the club. He had urged me to go out, to have a little fun before tomorrow with Alex’s family. I said yes if only to shut him up. I regret it.

I can’t lie to myself. I’ve done too many years of that. 

I can’t lie that it hurt seeing him in that position. To see that man’s hands in his beautiful curls. To see his lean body against a stranger.

I suppose I did that to myself.

I had done it to save us both the pain of what would surely come if we had attempted any sort of relationship together. 

I know I’m broken. I know I can’t give myself to him in that way that he deserves. 

It still hurts. 

I can be selfish right?

No. 

Not with him.

Never with him.

“What’s up!” Alex called from the Jeep, waving to Henry who was crossing the street, overnight bag slung over his shoulder. Henry gave him a smile as he slid into the back. 

“How are you?” Henry asked, addressing the audience. June was in the front with Alex, glasses on and hand against her fist. Nora looked up and gave him the ‘sup’ nod before going back to her phone. “Crazy night?”

“Something like that.” June grumbled.

“She’s still letting the pain killers kick in.” Nora explained and Alex snickered. He hadn’t gotten drunk enough to really get too trashed, he had slept off whatever hangover he had.

“So just a warning, we’re probably not eating till at least 3 pm but I’m sure my mom has snacks or something to tide you over.” Alex said as he pulled the Jeep away from the curb and headed towards the lakehouse. It was a familiar drive and he took the time to introduce Henry to more country music on the way. 

By the time they got there, they were definitely the last to arrive. He saw his dad’s car in the driveway along with Zahra’s, his mom’s personal assistant who had been with her since her political conception. She was less a personal assistant and more the one person that kept his mom alive other than their step father, Leo who was more there to bake goods and tell Ellen she’s amazing. Typical trophy husband stuff.

Alex parked haphazardly, knowing that he was blocking in at least one car but doing it on principle. They got out, grabbing their bags from the trunk and headed towards the front door.

“I honestly have no idea what to expect.” Henry muttered to Alex as they got closer to the wrap around porch. 

“Expect a lot of food, a lot of yelling at the Cowboys, and a lot of games that have to do with trivia.” Alex grinned at him. 

“What are the Cowboys?”

“Oh my god please never utter those words ever again. They’re fucking America’s team man! How have you lived in Texas this long and not know who the Cowboys are?”

“Wait, yes okay they have the star right? That dumb blue and silver star everyone likes to wear?”

“Yes, that’s the one. Just yell when we yell and you’ll fit right in. We also have the Longhorns playing tonight so there’s a lot of football.”

“Why aren’t you going to that game in person?”

Alex shrugged. “Tradition I guess?”

Henry nodded and then Alex was moving them into the house. “We’re here!” He called out and left his bag by the door. Henry followed the motion as June and Nora slipped inside as well. 

“My offspring!” Ellen poked her head out. Her face had flour on it and she was wearing an apron over her Ann Taylor dress. Alex laughed and shook his head.

“Are you seriously cooking right now?” Alex asked as he came in for an extended hug, making sure not to actually touch the messy apron and kissed her on the cheek.

“I’m getting the turkey ready.” She said and June let out a noise.

“Wait you haven’t even put it in yet? How long will it take to be ready?” She asked as she came in for a hug and a kiss as well.

“Oh probably around 5 or so. It’ll be fine.” Ellen brushed it off. “Your father’s out back getting the fryer ready.”

Alex peeked out through the bay windows and saw his father standing with Leo around a metal fryer. “Mom this is Henry.” He said after he realized that Henry was still standing awkwardly. Henry came forward with a hand. 

“Pleasure to meet you.” 

“Oh you don’t want to shake my hand right now.” Ellen laughed. “Gross turkey juice.” She said as she came in for a hug that Henry awkwardly took, also avoiding the dirty apron. “It’s nice to meet you Henry. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Alex didn’t miss the way Henry’s eyes flashed over to him before returning back to Ellen. “Good things I hope?”

“Only the morbid details. Alex never has good things to say.” Ellen winked and Alex didn’t miss the way Henry’s face paled. “Oh darlin’, I’m just teasing. It’s good to have you here! What a way to celebrate your first Thanksgiving than with the governor of Texas am I right?”

“Oh my god mom do you have to mention the fact that you’re the governor in every single conversation?” Alex rolled his eyes.

“Get out of my kitchen before I slap you silly boy.” Ellen warned and Alex laughed. He nodded towards the backyard and Henry followed behind.

“Hey dad!” Alex called out and Oscar turned with a giant grin on his face.

“Alex!” Oscar took a running start and gathered Alex up in a giant bear hug that definitely took him off the ground for a second. 

“Okay, please don’t kill me. I have so much to live for.” Alex laughed as was set back down on the ground. “Dad, meet Henry. He’s in one of my classes and he’s British so this is his first Thanksgiving.”

“Nice to meet you sir.” Henry extended his hand and this time he got a handshake.

“British huh? Welcome to the country.” Oscar laughed and Alex rolled his eyes. God his parents were so embarrassing. “Have you ever had a fried turkey?”

“I haven’t had fried anything except fish and chips.” Henry said with a little laugh.

“Alex, have you really not introduced him to fried food yet? What have you been doing?” Oscar scolded his son.

“Henry lies! I forced him to eat a lot of fried food at the State Fair.” Alex whacked Henry on the arm.

“Oh right. I blocked it out. Except for fried Oreos. Those were delicious. I see why you guys are fat now.” Henry grinned and Oscar let out a belly laugh.

“Okay Alex you can keep this one.” 

Alex took Henry down towards the dock where there was a few lawn chairs set up and they sat down, looking out over the water. 

“Was this the house you grew up in?” Henry asked as he dusted off his jeans. 

“No, I grew up in West Austin but my parents bought this house before they had me and June. We spent all our summers here when we were in school.” Alex mused as he watched the ripples on the water. It was a little chilly outside, enough that he snuggled down into his pullover. “It’s a lot of fun to just go swimming until the sun sets.” He smiled softly as the memories played across the back of his eyes. 

“I bet.” Henry agreed softly. 

“When it gets warmer I’ll have to bring you back and we can go boating.” 

Henry turned towards Alex. “I’d like that.” 

Alex smiled back at him and leaned back against the wooden slats of the chair. He felt words on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t work up the courage to say them. This was hard. Now that he had kissed that man last night he couldn’t stop wondering if he would feel the same thing if he kissed Henry. Their first kiss could hardly be counted as one. It was a kiss of desperation. He wondered what a kiss that was intention would feel like. He had felt the spark of desire with a stranger, what would it feel like when it was with someone he actually knew? 

“Alex!” He heard his dad’s voice calling down to him. “The game’s about to start!” 

“Oh shit, we better head up.” Alex said, standing. Henry mirrored his movements and they headed up the hill towards the house. Inside it was starting to smell like the Thanksgiving he knew. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” He asked Henry. 

“Yeah Henry, try the salsa.” Oscar interrupted and Henry looked at Alex.

“Dad, he’s British.” 

“Oh right.”

“No, I’d be happy to try it.” Henry reached out to grab a chip and dunked it in the salsa.

“Wait, it’s really--” Alex started and then Henry shoved the chip in his mouth. “--Spicy.” He finished as Henry chewed.

“Mmmm very good.” Henry nodded and reached for a plate and added some chips and salsa along with the queso.

Alex shook his head. “You actually do like spice huh?”

Henry turned his gaze to him and shrugged. “I guess so.” 

_Huh._

They gathered around the TV, including the girls though June wasn’t nearly as into it whereas Nora was the loudest yell in the entire room. 

“What? I’ve got $20 bucks riding on this game. My bookie guaranteed 50 to 1 odds.” Nora shrugged.

“Alex, I’m afraid.” Henry leaned over to whisper.

“You learn to know that anything you can think about, Nora has bet on.” He whispered back. “I’m sure she’s got some sort of bet on you too.” 

Henry looked back at Nora who was yelling about a shitty call. He looked back at Alex. “I repeat, I’m afraid.” 

Alex snickered.

Finally, dinner was ready. They loaded up their plates with turkey, mashed potatoes, elotes, tamales, green bean casserole (courtesy of Leo but Alex had to admit it was always very delicious), okra, empanadas. Alex had to teach Henry how to actually eat tamales. 

The dining room was loud and boisterous. Zahra who had exited her room earlier during the game was rolling her eyes at Alex as usual. Leo was telling a story about Ellen who made Ellen blush. Nora was arguing with June and Oscar about the merits of instant replay. Henry was watching everything happen with a giant smile on his face. 

A smile that Alex would never get enough of. 

A smile that he always wanted on Henry’s beautiful face.

He had to take a little moment as his chest expanded at the pure happiness of this moment. His favorite people around him living life.

They finished their plates and moved into the living room to cheer on the Longhorns while Leo and June cleaned up. 

“So this is all Thanksgiving is?” Henry asked, his hands interlaced behind his head as he leaned back against the cushions. It was a very un-posh way of sitting that Alex actually found he loved. 

“Yup, pretty much. We’ll have pie later of course but yeah that’s about it. Football, food, family.” Alex grinned.

“Switch football out with _futbol_ and I can get behind it.” Henry smiled back, his voice twisting into a slight Spanish accent that Alex felt something twist inside him at the sound of it.

“You should make it a thing back in England when you go back.” Alex poked his side and Henry groaned, his body curving around where Alex’s finger had been. 

“Don’t I’m stuffed.” Henry whined and Alex laughed. 

They watched the game and of course Nora was the loudest yet again. Leo and June brought out the pies and plates and served the group. Alex insisted Henry try a bit of everything. Henry’s favorite was the apple pie. 

The sun slowly set below the trees, water sparkling like diamonds. 

“Alright kids.” Ellen clapped her hands. “I love you all but I’m hitting the hay.” She rose and pressed kisses to Alex and June’s foreheads. Her hand slipped into Leo’s before sliding away and she walked up the stairs.

“Alex and Henry, you guys get the bunks. That cool?” Oscar asked as the rest of the group got up as well to get ready for bed.

Alex looked over at Henry who had been quiet for a while and he hadn’t even noticed. The boy’s eyes were closed and his mouth soft, chest moving up and down slowly. “Yeah that’s fine.” He reached over to slightly shake Henry who jolted away. The blue eyes fell on him and Henry relaxed.

“I fell asleep.” Henry murmured sleepily and stretched with a yawn.

“Yeah. Yeah you did.” Alex smirked. “Come on, grab your bag and I’ll show you to our room.”

“Oh.” Henry stiffened. “We’re sharing?”

“Yeah, we got the bunk bed room.” 

“Oh.” Henry repeated and relaxed. He followed Alex up the stairs and they dumped their bags on the ground, Henry kneeling down beside his. “Do you mind if I go in first?” He asked Alex, head angling towards the bathroom.

“Go for it.” Alex said as he dug around his bag. Henry disappeared into the bathroom and June was suddenly in the doorway.

“How are you?” She whispered and Alex narrowed his eyes.

“Fine. You don’t have to worry.” 

“You are sharing a room.” She arched an eyebrow.

“So?”

“So, a lot of things could happen.”

“We have _bunk beds_ June. I’ll be fine.” 

June was silent for a moment before nodding. “Goodnight Alex.”

“Night.” He said with a smile. Henry opened the bathroom door at the moment and slid past June.

“All yours.” Henry said before looking at the bunks. “Um…”

“I can take the top. That’s the one I usually took when June and I had this room growing up.”

“Okay.” Henry nodded. 

Alex went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. He ignored himself in the mirror until he got to washing his face. His eyes were staring back at him, seeming to give him a skeptical look. He frowned. “Shut up.” He muttered to himself. He _definitely_ wasn’t thinking back to seeing Henry in his underwear while making tea when he had slept on Henry’s couch. He sighed and finished up before heading back into the room. 

Henry was already in bed and he looked up from his phone when Alex came in. He looked so fucking cute all tucked into bed and Alex had to push his hand through his hair as he knelt down to place his toiletries back back into his overnight bag. 

“Did you have fun?” He asked, not turning to look at Henry. “I know my family can be a lot.” 

“I had a lot of fun. All of your family is great. Even Zahra. We talked for a bit about Keats and how overrated Kafka is.” Henry said, his voice colored with a smile that Alex couldn’t see but could picture.

Alex pivoted on the balls of his feet, still crouched on the floor. “You actually got Zahra to debate with you? She usually just tells me to shut up the moment I open my mouth.”

Henry shrugged into his pillows. “She’s very intelligent.” 

Alex felt a flash of jealousy course through him. He stood up and pulled off his t-shirt and let it fall to the ground. He pulled off his jeans and left those in a puddle on the floor as well leaving him in just his underwear. “You’re lucky she didn’t just give you a withering look.” He said, mostly as an off-hand comment. He was mostly focused on the way Henry cheeks seemed to color a little in the shadow of the bunk bed. 

He gave Henry a little smirk. “Goodnight Henry.” 

“Erm, yes goodnight.” Henry said after a moment and Alex turned off the light, letting his phone flashlight lead him up to the top bunk. He managed to get under the covers and as he looked up at the pitch black ceiling he smiled to himself. 

Perhaps it wasn’t a hopeless cause after all.

**Journal Entry: _November 28th_**

I am entirely and wholly fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooooo folks we got some hope here what whaaaaaaat. Again, may I reiterate and point to the 'slow burn' tag. I know it hurts me just as much as it hurts you but imagine the sweet sweet fluff that will await us at the end of this angst rainbow. Please yell at me in the comments. I am but a humble fic writer.
> 
> P.S. the journal entries are from Henry's POV if that didn't come across (psh like can you even _imagine_ Alex keeping a journal? He'd forget after the first day)
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Cowboys**: Aka the Dallas Cowboys aka "America's Team". They're a professional American football team that people in Texas are either fans of them or the Houston Texans. Seeing as I am a cowboys fan myself I had to go with the cowboys being the Claremont-Diaz family's fave as well. Also they always play on Thanksgiving so it makes sense okay I'm not self-inserting what are you talking about?


	7. i'd fall apart without you

It was all hot breaths and brushes of lips and choked moans. 

It was fingers grasping, bruising, caressing.

It was harsh bites and soothing tongues.

It was intoxicating.

It was…

Alex gasped awake, chest heaving, legs tangled in his sheets. It took him a moment to realize where he was and he fell back against his pillows with a breathy ‘fuck’ as he scraped his fingers through his hair. 

If he concentrated hard enough he could still see those hooded blue eyes barely open, looking at him with only desire and lust.

He caught his breath as he looked up at the same stained ceiling and he was suddenly grateful that he had his own room in the fraternity house as his heartbeat pounded against his chest. 

Yet another dream about Henry.

They had gotten significantly more steamy the longer the time went on but this was the most significant of them all. He was definitely going to need to change his sheets. 

He rolled over and buried his face into his pillow and let out a loud groan of frustration. 

Honestly this entire thing was ridiculous. 

His head popped up when he heard his phone go off. 

**Prince Charming**: Hey...are you awake?

Alex bit his lip, fingers hovering over the text box, unsure if he should respond. But Alex was a weak man.

**Alexander**: yeah

He got an almost instant response.

**Prince Charming**: I’m glad to know I’m not the only one burning the midnight oil.  
**Alexander**: gotta love finals right?  
**Prince Charming**: I think my fingers are going to fall off from all the typing I’ve been doing. It’s times like these that I wonder why I chose English as a major.  
**Alexander**: yeah that was super dumb of you  
**Prince Charming**: I kind of like this time of night though. It’s peaceful.  
**Alexander**: only because every sane person is asleep  
**Prince Charming**: Do you want to come over? Pez isn’t here and I can’t sleep. Want to continue my American movie education?  
**Alexander**: how do you feel about scary movies?  
**Prince Charming**: I don’t mind them as long as I have a pillow nearby to hide behind.  
**Alexander**: you’re such a dork  
**Prince Charming**: Don’t make fun of my emotional support pillow

**Alexander**: I’ll be your pillow….

Alex hovered over the send button but paused, biting his lip. He hit the backspace.

**Alexander**: give me like 20 min and i’ll be over  
**Prince Charming**: I’ll make us some popcorn.

“Welcome to chateau insomniac.” Henry greeted him at the door and Alex laughed.

“I shouldn’t have been surprised at all.” Alex said as he stepped inside. It was nearly 2 in the morning but he didn’t care. He slipped off his Nikes inside the door and shed his carhartt jacket and left it on the hook inside Henry’s apartment. He followed Henry to the couch in his socks, sweats and Delta Sig hoodie that had seen better days. 

“I’m a little afraid of what you’re going to pick to be quite honest.” Henry said as he followed behind Alex. He was wearing plaid pajama bottoms and a London pullover. 

“I’m assuming you haven’t see The Conjuring right?”

“Oh shit. No but I’ve heard about it.” Henry said nervously and Alex cackled as he took the remote from Henry.

“Just assume you won’t get _any_ sleep tonight.” 

“So evil.” 

“You know it babe.” Alex winked at him and pressed play. He had seen The Conjuring at least a dozen times and knew when all the jump scares were but they still seemed to get him every time as well. 

“Shit!” Henry yelled, cowering behind a pillow, blanket all the way up to his nose after the witch’s face is revealed in the basement. Alex had jumped as well but he still let out a loud laugh. Henry threw the pillow at him. “What the fuck this is scary as hell!”

“Do you want me to hold you?” Alex grinned and Henry rolled his eyes and kicked him from across the couch. “Ouch!” 

“Oh please that didn’t hurt.” Henry pursed his lips and Alex kicked him. “Okay you made that one hurt.”

“No I didn’t.” Alex said in a sing-song voice. Henry kicked him back, foot coming out from under the blankets and kicked Alex in the chest. “Oh you’re in for it.” 

And Alex surged forward, pouncing on top of Henry. The boy let out a yelp of surprise, hands going up to defend himself. Alex attempted to grab Henry’s wrists but the boy was too slippery. He let out a wild laugh as they wrestled for dominance on the couch until Alex felt himself falling off and he fell on the floor with a groan of pain as Henry’s weight crashed into him. 

He looked up. Henry was hovering over him, frozen, Alex’s wrists in his grasp and body bracketing Alex’s. They both let out a laugh at the audacity of it, movie completely ignored at this point. 

Alex looked up into Henry’s blue eyes as the moment stretched before them. He didn’t attempt to push Henry off and Henry didn’t attempt to get off of Alex. Instead they stared down at each other, the tension building. 

It was only a scream from the TV that made them both jump and Henry crashed down on the floor next to him, moment effectively broken. 

“You’re a little pipsqueak you know that right?” Henry said. “You’re right shite at wrestling too.”

“Says the giant.” Alex poked Henry in the side and the boy’s head lolled toward Alex’s. “Besides, I grew up playing lacrosse. No tackle sports for me.” 

Henry gave him a lazy smile. “I bet you were a demon on the field though.”

“Oh for sure. They called me El Diablo.” Alex grinned as he twisted onto his side, arm going under his head. Henry mirrored his movements. “Did you play any sports?”

“I grew up playing polo but I stopped once I got to Uni. And UT doesn’t have a polo team so…” Henry shrugged, a bit stunted by the fact that he was on the floor.

“Wait, yes they do. You should join it!” Alex said excitedly. 

Henry smirked and shrugged again. “I’m very out of practice.” 

Alex hummed and moved back onto his back. The thought of Henry riding a horse in those tight breeches that those polo players wore was a lot to comprehend. 

“Doesn’t UT have a lacrosse team?” Henry asked and Alex turned his head back towards him.

“Yeah but they’re an actual collegiate team. Like with scholarships and stuff. I wasn’t good enough for that. Plus I didn’t really have the drive to continue with it outside of high school.” He explained and it was Henry’s turn to hum. 

They went back to watching the movie, Alex eventually moving back onto the couch with Henry following close behind. They went to their designated corners, Henry getting back under the blanket while Alex hugged a pillow to his chest. He felt a weird turmoil in his stomach, he like was itching for a fight but when the fight actually came around it had ended abruptly. 

He kept sneaking glances over at Henry. A part of him wanted to just break the boundary they had set between them when Henry had explained away the kiss as a drunken mistake and Alex had took it at face value. He wondered if Henry was feeling the same way. 

“How are you feeling about finals?” Henry broke their silence that had previously only been interrupted by the movie. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, turning towards him.

“I mean are you nervous at all?”

“Nah not really. I’ve basically been studying for them since the beginning of November. What about you?” He asked.

Henry rubbed the back of his head. Alex watched his bicep flex. “I’m a little nervous. I’m not the best test taker. I think I get too in my head sometimes and over think things.”

“At least most of your classes are essays though right? Like a final paper?” 

“Yeah. I’m nervous about our communication class though.”

“You know I’m always here for studying. We’ve basically studied for it the entire semester.” 

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right. I’m just being silly.” Henry let out a nervous laugh.

“It’s okay to be nervous. I’m sure I’ll get those pre-test jitters too.” Alex said, shifting a little towards him. 

“Right, of course.” Henry said, seeming to brush things off. Alex brought his lips together. He didn’t want to push Henry of course, but he found himself worrying a bit.

Eventually the movie was over and Henry yawned, stretching a bit before collapsing back onto the couch. “I think you might have cured my insomnia.” 

“You tired?” Alex asked and Henry turned toward him and nodded. 

“You can spend the night if you want.” Henry said and Alex gave him a half grin.

“I would have stayed regardless.”

Henry laughed and stood, stretching again. Alex’s eyes went to the sliver of skin peeking out above his pajama bottoms. “Night.” 

“Yeah, night.” Alex mumbled as he fell into the couch cushions. Henry turned off the light and disappeared into his room, leaving Alex to sort through his thoughts. He hunkered down on the couch and pulled the blanket Henry was using over his body. Without thinking he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Henry’s scent filling his senses. Fuck he was in deep and he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to see the bottom.

Eventually he must have fallen asleep because he woke up when he heard rustling in the kitchen. He sleepily sat halfway up and saw Henry, again in his underwear and socks as he started to make tea.

“You want some?” Henry asked when he noticed Alex peeking over the top.

“Do you have chai?”

Henry wrinkled his nose but nodded. “You and Pez are so weird.”

“Chai is good, don’t hate. Besides I thought you liked spice.” He yawned

“Not when I have Earl Grey as an option.” 

“Okay Prince Snootypants.” Alex rolled his eyes and flopped back onto the couch. He threw an arm over his eyes and didn’t move.

“How do you like it?” Henry asked when the timer went off on the electric kettle.

“Two sugars and a splash of milk please.” He said, still not moving.

“Americans.” Henry muttered to himself but dutifully brought Alex his tea. It was only then that he sat up. 

“Did you sleep okay?” He asked as he blew on the mug.

“Yeah, it was alright.” Henry said as he sipped his tea. Alex’s eyes shifted over to him and he pursed his lips again. He felt like Henry wasn’t telling him everything but he also felt like he wasn’t on that level with Henry yet to pry. It was a very annoying position to be in. He would chalk it up to the upcoming stress of finals.

They sipped their tea as Henry put on an episode of The Office.

(“Don’t tell anyone but I like the American version better than the original.”

“Why Henry that’s practically treason to the crown.”

“I’m trusting you with this secret.”

“I shall take it to my grave.”)

“I should probably head back.” Alex said after realizing it was nearly noon and he still had a project to finish for the last week of class. 

“Yeah alright. See you on Monday then?” Henry asked a little distracted.

“Um, yeah.”

Alex ignored the sting at the fact that Henry didn’t even bother to get up to see him out. 

He ignored the fact that the rest of the weekend he could hardly focus because he was over thinking what that could have meant. Did Henry not want to be his friend anymore? He had ruined whatever they had? He didn’t even know what he had done to cause something like this to happen but he was tipping over into a deep, self-conscious spiral of thoughts and emotions. 

**Alexander**: Did I do something wrong?

He deleted it.

**Alexander**: I’m worried about you.

He deleted it.

He hovered over the keyboard for far too long before he sighed and threw his phone onto the bed. Whatever. He would see Henry on Monday.

He was sitting in the lecture hall, wearing the same Delta Sig hoodie when he saw Henry walk in and sit down next to him.

“Hey.” He said and Henry gave a grunt of a greeting. Alex frowned. “Did you not get much sleep or something?”

“Or something.” Henry grumbled as he took out his laptop. Alex noticed Henry wasn’t wearing his normal attire of jeans and a sweater but instead sweats and a hoodie. He looked like he hadn’t showered in ages.

“Are you...are you okay?” He asked hesitantly.

“I’m fine.” Henry snapped and Alex felt it practically slap him in the face. He was silent for a moment, processing it and he felt the anger start to pour in.

“I’m only asking because I care about you.” He hissed back. The lecture hall was starting to fill up.

Henry shot an annoyed look at him. “I said I’m fine Alex. Stop meddling in my life.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t be a fucking prick Henry. Don’t you dare pull that shit with me.”

“Or what? You’ll leave me alone? Good.” Henry said and he closed his laptop with a loud snap and stood up, shoving it into his backpack. Alex was left stunned as Henry turned and walked away.

It was the second time Henry had done that to him. 

This time it hurt worse.

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Subject: Lecture notes

Here’s the notes you missed from today. Not that you deserve them but I don’t want you to fail because you missed a class or something

He didn’t even get a response.

“Hey Pez? Can I ask you something?” He asked while he and the girls plus Pez were out getting pizza. He had invited Henry but hadn’t gotten a response.

“This about Henry and his mood?”

“Yeah, what the hell is up with that?” He asked in an exasperated tone. The girls were in line to grab dessert for them so it was just him and Pez at the table.

Pez shifted to face him fully. “Ever since I’ve known him in primary he’s been like this around finals. He gets so worked up and any time you try to help him he either yells at you or retreats even farther. It’s got something to do with his anxiety and depression.”

Alex felt a jolt course through him. “Depression?” He asked in a small voice.

“Yeah, he’s on meds for it but sometimes they don’t help everything.” Pez said with a shrug. “It gets bad around this time but don’t worry, he’ll eventually come out of it. You just have to be patient with him.”

Alex looked down at his hands that were fiddling with his fork and nodded. 

“It’s not you. I promise.” Pez added and Alex gave him a weak smile and nodded.

“It uh...it really felt like it was me.” He said with a sigh.

Pez wrapped his arm around Alex and squeezed his shoulder. “He loves you mate. It’s not often that he lets people into his life you know. It takes a lot for him to open up.”

Alex felt a little flare of hope. “I feel like there’s so much I don’t know about him though.”

“Give him time. Open up yourself too, that will show him that you care.” Pez said encouragingly. “And if he gives you hell let me know I’ll give him hell right back.” 

Alex laughed. “I would have no doubt.”

The girls returned with cinnamon twists and the conversation turned towards something lighter, happier and Alex let himself fall into the emotion though in the back of his mind he was still reeling at the information Pez had dropped into his lap. Eventually they finished and got bundled up into their coats before leaving.

“Alex,” Pez reached out to grab his arm and Alex stopped, turning. “He really does care about you, you know? I saw your mind whirling back there.”

Alex straightened and nodded. “Thanks Pez.”

Pez gave him a half smile before nodded to him and then caught up with the girls. Alex watched him go and he sighed to himself. The constant swing from good to bad was a bit like having whiplash but he knew that he wouldn’t give up Henry without a fight. He had become too important to Alex in such a short amount of time.

Henry sat next to him on the final day of class.

“Thanks for the notes.” He muttered and Alex was silent before giving him a nod. 

“Of course.” Was all he said. He would let Henry reach out across the void between them. He didn’t want to push him away further. 

“I’m just...very stressed. I took it out on you and I apologize.” 

“Don’t sweat it.” Alex said easily.

“I’m serious Alex. I sincerely apologize.” The earnest look in Henry’s eyes made Alex’s face soften.

“I know.” He whispered and Henry gave him a grateful look.

“I only have one more essay to finish and this final and then I’ll be less of a monster.”

“Do you want to go to the Trail of Lights to celebrate?” He asked and Henry frowned. “It’s a Christmas decoration show in Zilker Park.” He added.

“That sounds like a great plan.” Henry said with a beaming smile and Alex felt his soul light up at the look of it. 

“Good.” He said with a smile and then they turned to the front as the lecture began. Alex hardly paid attention, his head too up in the cloud to bother coming down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this chapter certainly was a wild fucking ride am I right? Definitely not exactly what I originally planned but you can't exactly force these things right? You just go where the characters take you and they took me to some wild places in this chapter. Will we ever be free of the slow burn? Who knows? Who _fucking_ knows. ANYways please as always comment to let me know your thoughts becasue I legit live for them and it shows me that you're still hanging in for them to finally (eventually????) get together because lord knows I am but a weak woman and this is getting ROUGH to write. Hashtag sent from the grave
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Trail of Lights**: A yearly Christmas celebration in Zilker Park in Austin. There's a fun run, a lot of cool Christmas light displays. Great photo opportunities, even better kissing opportunities I MEAN WHAT JK PROBS NOT YET DON'T GET UR HOPES UP


	8. make you miss me

**Prince Charming**: That final was brutal.  
**Alexander**: holy shit my hand hurts from bubbling in that stupid scantron  
**Prince Charming**: Did you have a lot that you didn’t know?  
**Alexander**: not really our (meaning MY) study guides helped  
**Prince Charming**: Hey you offered the guide. But also yes they did. There were only a few that I didn’t know.  
**Prince Charming**: I’m still nervous though.  
**Alexander**: wanna get shit faced?  
**Prince Charming**: I’d thought you’d never ask.

“You text like a grandma you know that?” Alex blurted out as he laid out on Henry’s couch. 

“I don’t know if I should take offense to that or not.” Henry frowned as he took a swig of his beer from the 24 pack that Alex had brought over. (Surplus from the fraternity. Shh, he was the fraternity president. Call it compensation from the bullshit he had to put up with this semester.)

“I think you should. You use punctuation way too much my friend.” Alex shook his head as he finished off his fifth Bud Light (Again, surplus from the fraternity. It was free. He would take what he could get.) He rose from the couch a little unsteadily as he walked to the fridge. “You need another?” He asked over his shoulder.

Henry raised his can to his mouth and tipped it all the way back, making his neck extend before moving back to neutral position.

Alex cleared his throat. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Henry grinned at him. “Where’s Pez again?”

“He left for home already. His one and only final was on Monday so he lucked out.” Henry sighed.

“So you’ve been here in this apartment all alone?” Alex gave Henry a fake sad pout.

Henry chunked the can at him and he laughed as he ducked. “You’ve visited, remember? I think you talked about the merits of the second amendment in your sleep.”

“Creeper.” Alex shot back. He walked back and handed Henry the can as he sat back down on his corner. 

“You made some excellent points.”

“How did you even hear my beautiful sleep debate?”

“I got up to get water.” Henry shrugged. “And you looked cold so I gave you another blanket.”

Alex felt something squeeze inside him at the idea of Henry placing a blanket over him while he slept. “My sleep self thanks you.” He said, raising his beer in a toast. He reached out and grabbed a cookie from the Tiff’s Treats box that was on the table. A typical end of finals treat that he had done every semester so far. Nothing better than warm cookies delivered to your door when you were already stressing.

“When do you leave?” Henry asked as he reached forward and grabbed a cookie as well.

“I’m staying in town until the 20th then I’m heading to California to see my dad’s parents.” He said around his chocolaty goodness.

“Okay I have a giant favor to ask of you.” Henry said awkwardly.

“Yes I’ll drive you to the airport. I thought that was assumed.” He said before Henry could even ask. He saw relief melt onto Henry’s face.

“Oh thank god I was a little nervous about that shuttle they have. I’ll pay you of course.” 

“Dude don’t even sweat it. You don’t have to pay me. This is what you do for friends.” 

“Oh. Right. Well...thank you.” Henry sputtered out and Alex chuckled to himself. “What?”

“Oh nothing. You’re just so British that’s all.” 

“Shut it.” 

“Make me.” Alex stuck out his tongue. He was feeling the nice fuzziness of just this side of tipsy course through him. 

Henry threw a pillow at him and Alex had to quickly dodge it in order to avoid spilling his beer. Henry just let his head fall back against the top of the couch and laughed. It almost hurt to look at as his hair fell away from his forehead, all soft and unkempt. Alex’s fingers twitched at the thought of running through the golden locks. 

“Pure evil.” Alex muttered and Henry raised his head with a faint grin plastered on his face. Alex sipped his beer and Henry sipped his beer and they watched Jim and Pam fall in love on screen. Alex leaned against the pillows and sighed. “They are cute aren’t they?”

Henry gave him a curious look before looking back on the screen. “I think it’s John Krasinski that makes it.” 

“You don’t like Pam?” He shifted to face Henry, still leaning against the pillows though now he was practically curled up into a little ball.

“She’s alright but a little too quiet. I wish she had more of a backbone.” Henry shrugged.

“Oh so you like them fiery huh?” Alex smirked. 

Henry turned his head to gaze at him for a long moment before taking a long swig of his beer. “Fiery is much more interesting.” He said with such convention that Alex was frozen in place. It took him a moment to give Henry a little smile before turning back towards the TV.

They each had a couple more beers before Alex could barely keep his eyes open. Henry reached up and turned off the TV when the episode they were watching ended. 

Henry rose a little unsteadily from the couch with a little laugh before walking towards the kitchen to throw away the cans. “You staying here tonight?”

“Yeah, that cool?”

“Of course.” Henry said as he made his way towards his room. “I’ll see you in the morning then. Goodnight Alex.”

“Night.” He yawned. It had quickly become a routine. Him spending the night on Henry’s couch and waking up to tea in the morning. He knew his fraternity brothers assumed he was off spending the night at some girl’s apartment and he didn’t bother to correct them. They wouldn’t really understand that Henry was a good friend. 

A friend that he desperately wanted to kiss, but a friend nonetheless.

He snuggled down under the blanket and plugged his phone in, shutting his eyes and falling into a dreamless sleep.

He woke up shivering. 

His eyes opened when he realized that even under the two blankets that he had somehow gotten on top of himself he was still freezing and could almost see his breath. He sat up and frowned. The heat must have kicked off or something. He laid back down and tried to go back to sleep but he kept shivering. 

“Fuck this.” He muttered and got to his feet. He walked to Henry’s door and knocked on it lightly before opening it. He saw Henry under the blankets, brow slightly furrowed in his sleep. “Henry?” He stage whispered. He walked closer. “Henry?” He called out again and Henry finally stirred.

“Hmm?” Henry shifted sleepily, sitting up a little on his elbow. “What’s the matter?”

God he looked so perfect like this.

“I think your heat’s out.” He whispered and Henry frowned, still in the clutches of sleep.

“Oh.” Henry murmured and then reached over to pat the open side of the bed, his eyes closing as he got back into his sleep position he had been in before. “Come on then. Don’t freeze to death.” 

Alex was frozen in the doorway but then a shiver ran through him and he quickly moved forward. He pulled up the down comforter (of course Henry had a down comforter) and slipped under. “Thanks.” He muttered and Henry gave a hum in response before Alex heard the boy return to deep breaths. He faced the opposite way as Henry but suddenly he was wide awake. He could feel Henry’s body heat radiate out from under the covers and he shivered again as the heat warmed him. 

He closed his eyes and tried desperately to go back to sleep and not have his mind spiral at the implications of where he was right now. 

He did not think about the fact that if he reached out searching with his fingers he would find Henry’s strong back. 

He did not think about if he turned he could easily shift forward and take in the scent of Henry at the crook of his shoulder.

He did not think about the idea of completely throwing everything out the window and curling his arm around Henry’s torso and bring him to his chest.

Instead he thought about anything _other_ than those things.

He must have fallen asleep eventually because he felt himself wake up when the bed shifted and his eyes opened to daylight. 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Henry murmured as Alex shifted onto his back, blinking away sleep.

“That’s alright.” He said sleepily. “Thanks for letting me not freeze last night.” 

“That would not be very hospitable of me.” Henry’s mouth twitched into a half smile. “I think my parents would disown me if I had done anything less.” 

“Oh yes, so proper.” Alex slipped into a very bad rendition of Henry’s accent. He pulled out his hand from beneath the covers and put his pinky up into the air. “Henry dear will you be a pet and fetch me some tea.” 

“Alright, you’ve overstayed your welcome. Please leave.” Henry narrowed his eyes but there was no fire behind it.

“Nooo.” Alex whined and pulled the covers to his nose. “Please sir, don’t throw me out into the cold.” 

Henry laughed and shook his head as he looked down at the ground. “Ridiculous.” 

Alex grinned. 

Eventually he got out of bed when Henry left to make tea. He smoothed the covers back like he had never slept there and made his way into the kitchen. 

“So when are we doing this Trial of Lights thing?” Henry asked as he stirred the chai tea that Alex hadn’t even asked for. Alex managed to keep the smile off his face when he saw that Henry had made it how he liked it.

“Well we have to wait till it’s dark so probably around 8?” He said as he took the mug from Henry. 

“Alright.” Henry agreed. 

“I need to eventually go back and shower and actually dress like I’m not a poor college student.” Alex sighed as he sunk into his corner of the couch once more. 

“But Alex...you are a poor college student.”

“But they don’t have to _know_ that. I can dress like a semi-successful millennial when I want to.” Alex pursed his lips together and Henry just gave him an amused expression. “What! I can.”

“I’ve yet to see it.” 

“Shut up. I’ll dazzle you tonight don’t you worry.” 

“I’m sure.” Henry kept his same amused expression and Alex rolled his eyes. 

Eventually he made his way back towards the fraternity house to get cleaned up. The entire way his mind kept drifting back to the way Henry’s breaths sounded in the dark and he gritted his teeth. This was stupidly dumb. Now that he was away from Henry’s spell he felt a little bit of annoyance slip in. What the hell was he doing? He was pushing something that he wasn’t even sure was there. Sure Henry had kissed him in the bathroom nearly two months ago but he hadn’t done anything since. 

They didn’t even really speak about the fact that they had shared a bed. 

Whatever. It was fine. 

Everything was fine.

God.

He took a quick shower. The fraternity house was mostly empty at this point, everyone having gone home after finals. It would soon be shut for the break and he would go to Governor’s mansion that his mom currently inhabited. Sure he also had the house they grew up in, but at the Governor’s house they had a chef that came daily so might as well take advantage. 

He pulled on a pair of jeans and a tight fitting sweater in a nice shade of green. June had given it to him for his birthday last year. “To bring out your eyes” she had said and it really did bring out the flecks of green that he hadn’t even known he had until such a sweater came into his life. He ran some mousse through his hair (Another product courtesy of June) and looked into the mirror. He looked good. Better than good. Was it bad that he wanted to look great for Henry? Probably. But he didn’t care.

The ride over to Henry’s apartment didn’t take long. Austin was emptying out now that finals were over. 

“Are you dazzled?” Alex asked when Henry got into the car. He shifted, holding out his arms so Henry could get a good look.

“Wow. You actually put on something that doesn’t have your fraternity logo on it. I’m so proud.” Henry deadpanned and Alex whacked him in the arm.

“Shut up before I throw you out on the curb.” He grinned and Henry chuckled as he clicked his seatbelt into place. Alex currently had on the Christmas song radio and cranked it up and sang ‘Jingle Bells’ very obnoxiously loud with the windows down as they drove towards Zilker Park.

“I think my ears are bleeding!” Henry yelled over the music.

“I can’t hear you over my loud Christmas mood!” Alex yelled back with a wild laugh and Henry laughed as well, actually taking part in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. 

He pulled into a place and they got out. Henry’s eyes widened and Alex watched his reaction with a smile on his own face.

“Wow you Texans do it large huh?” Henry turned to Alex with raised eyebrows.

The entirety of Zilker Park was lit up with Christmas lights on trees and fantastic displays showcasing Austin and all the parts of it that Alex loved. People streamed by them with laughter and joy and Alex felt his own heart lift at the sight.

“Come on.” He urged Henry, bumping him on the shoulder and they walked in together. Henry’s eyes looked up at the tunnel of red, white, and green lights with a look of wonder that Alex wished he could capture forever. They strolled throughout the park, looking at the displays. He got someone to take their picture in front of the display with the Austin city line in the background. Henry’s arm was slung around Alex’s shoulder, Alex’s arm around Henry’s waist, and they were both grinning happily at the camera. 

“Let’s get some food.” Alex suggested and Henry eagerly followed. They got a bag of kettle corn and two spiked hot ciders and sat down in front of a stage that had a local band playing Christmas music. “Have you ever had kettle corn before?”

“Can’t say I have.” Henry admitted and took a handful. Alex watched his reaction while he sipped his cider. “Wow this is really quite good.” He admitted and Alex held out the bag for him to get more. 

“So what does your family do for Christmas?” He asked as he faced the band.

“Well Christmas morning, me, Bea, my older brother Phillip and his wife, and my mum and dad all open presents before heading to my grandparent’s house. It’s really a quite formal occasion though. My grandmother is not the most...hospitable of people.” 

“Do you and Bea do anything just the two of you?” Alex asked

“Usually we just get drunk off the expensive brandy and then my grandmother yells at us.” Henry chuckled. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms while still sipping his cider.

“I’m glad you have Bea.” Alex said with a soft smile. 

“Yeah me too.” Henry said quietly. “She’s definitely saved me from dying of boredom.”

“Your family sounds very fancy. I thought British people were supposed to be lowkey drunkards all the time.”

“Oh well that’s true for everyone but when you’re 20th in line for the crown you have to have some class.” Henry said and Alex froze.

“Wait, what?”

Henry looked at him confused. “What?”

“You’re in line for the crown?” He asked, his mouth open.

“You can’t throw a pebble in London without hitting someone who’s in line for the crown.” Henry scoffed.

“Yeah but 20th is pretty close to the top! How come you’ve never told me?”

Henry squirmed a little and shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal. My grandmother is the queen’s first cousin but I’ve never really been in the limelight. At least not really.”

Alex fell back against the back of the chair. “Well shit. I didn’t know I was in the presence of _royalty_. Guess my contact name for you was actually correct.”

Henry looked at him curiously. “What’s my contact name?”

Alex felt his cheeks get hot and it was his turn to shrug. “It’s Prince Charming. But only because you look like a literal Disney prince.” 

“Aww how sweet of you.” Henry cooed.

“Shut up before I dump this hot cider on you.”

“Am I the prince of your dreams? Am I going to whisk you away from your tower?” Henry continued.

“Oh my god.” 

“I think it’s so romantic of you.” Henry leaned in with a grin and poked Alex on the cheek that was definitely blushing now. 

“I’m changing it to Evil Demon now.” Alex said as he whipped out his phone.

Henry grinned and sipped his cider. Alex put his phone back into his pocket, knowing damn well he wouldn’t change the contact name to save his own life.

They enjoyed the lights some more, wandering around. Henry smiled at the happy kids who were so excited to see Santa and Alex smiled at Henry enjoying them. It made his throat close a little at the sight but in a good way. 

“Do you mind if we head back?” Henry asked and Alex nodded.

“Sure, done with the light show?”

“I mean it’s lovely but my flight’s tomorrow and you know…” Henry shrugged and Alex chuckled.

“Yeah alright.” Figures Henry would be a little uptight about getting to the airport. 

They drove back though this time the music was much quieter and they were both silent, contemplating life.

“Can you pick me up at noon tomorrow?” Henry asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“You know the Austin airport isn’t that big right?”

“Yes I know that but I just...I like to get there early.”

Alex’s expression softened. “Yeah sure I’ll be there.”

“Thanks.” Henry said, relief in his shoulders. “Night Alex. I really enjoyed it.”

“Yeah, me too. See you tomorrow.”

He definitely didn’t stare up at the stain in the ceiling that looked like Henry.

The ride to the airport was almost a little sad. Like he was saying goodbye to a lover but it was just his friend and it was only for a few weeks.

“Well...I’m off.” Henry said awkward standing on the curb with his very neatly packed suitcase. He held out his hand for Alex to shake and Alex shook his head with a laugh and wrapped up Henry in a hug. Henry hugged him back before stepping out of the embrace. “Have a good Christmas.”

“You too. Email me when you land or something. I’m not sure how trans-atlantic messaging works actually.”

Henry nodded. “I’ll be sure to do that.”

Alex gave him a little smile as Henry took his bags in hand and walked towards the sliding doors. He waited until he couldn’t see him anymore, waving when Henry turned back once. 

He sighed as he got back into his Jeep and suddenly felt very alone. 

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: landed

Dear Alex,

I have touched down at Heathrow and already I’m very annoyed at the place. It’s entirely too cold, entirely too loud, and entirely too boring. A part of me wishes that I could have just pretended I missed my flight so I could spend Christmas in Texas and not freeze to death. I think Bea would have rightfully murdered me though so here I am in the back of the town car my parents so lovingly sent to avoid meeting me at the airport and I’m thinking about that kettle corn. 

America truly does have the best food don’t they?

I don’t think I can go back from no fried food in my life. If anyone says that I’ve gained weight I’m blaming it entirely on you. 

Hope you’re well,  
Henry

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: landed

Dear Mr. Henry Fox Mountchristen,

Yes I looked up your name. Wow you pretentious son of a bitch. Also your hair looked really cute when you were 13 and at the wedding of Kate and good ol Will. Very rude of you to use all the gel in the world though to keep it it plastered to your head. 

I’m sitting in the Sam Houston room of the Governor’s mansion and being slowly choked to death by all this cherry wood. I honestly hate June for making me stay in the room though. I nearly screamed when the maid came in because she didn’t know I was here yet and I’m pretty sure I flashed her. 

The one good thing about this place is the free food from the chef and the fact that I can walk around in a long dressing robe pretending to be a wealthy pioneer. Leo DiCaprio, eat your heart out.

Yours,  
Alex

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: Slowly Dying of Boredom

Dear Alex,

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you didn’t have society’s expectations looming over you? I had to attend a luncheon with the extended family this afternoon and I about rolled my eyes 10 different times. It was only Bea squeezing my hand under the table that kept me from doing so. (I dare say you’ve been a bad influence on me.) The entirely deluded point of view these nobles have is ridiculous. I had to bite my tongue more than once to keep from blurting out the fact that we have spent so much money on the food at this luncheon that no one touches (because actually eating the food would have the people wonder if you’ve lost your hold over yourself) when we could easily donate the food or spend time at a homeless shelter.

I am surrounded by people who’s greatest accomplishment in life is to be born into a family that is related to the crown. 

I want to be more than this.

When Phillip asked me about how I’m liking it in America I tried to explain how much I’m learning and enjoying the culture over there. As soon as I got a sentence in I could see that he was only asking to be polite and didn’t actually want to know. Every single person I’ve talked to has done the same.

Except dad and Bea of course.

My father was married into this life so he understands what it’s like on the outside. I told him all about you and Austin and the things I’ve been doing. You should have seen the way his eyes light up. I told him he should visit but I know he won’t. I’m not sure he’s allowed outside the country if my grandmother has any say in it. 

I hope things are better on your end. I’m just counting down the days until I’m back in the states and away from my horrid family.

Dreaming of salsa,  
Henry

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Subject: Feliz Navidad

Dear Henry,

Merry Christmas! I hope you’re surviving your grandparents but at least Bea will be there with you. I’m still in bed waiting for the rest of the family to wake up. I don’t know why but I always seem to wake up way too early on Christmas. There’s something about the holiday that gets me excited. My abuela always makes us Mexican hot chocolate and huevos rancheros for breakfast every year. I’m pretty sure I can smell it now but I wanted to send you your gift before I went down. 

I couldn’t decide what to actually get you so I made you a playlist instead for when you’re missing Texas. I hope you appreciate it.

[click here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3aEqXZjUKMnHy0g3BBlBt1?si=0LuBAMPXRT6xXvTHKIeWnA)

Anyways, don’t hang yourself by your silk necktie. Just listen and close your eyes and you’ll be back here.

Yours,  
Alex

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Re: Feliz Navidad

Dear Alex,

I’m sitting in the dark with my headphones in and you’re right, I’m definitely back in Texas. Thank you.

I hope you got your present. I left it with June and told her not to let you see it until Christmas so hopefully she kept her promise. I bet she has. 

The entirety of Christmas was a bore. I’m surrounded by close minded people and it makes me want to scream. If I come back with no hair just know that it was because I have ripped it all out. 

At least my mum and Phillip don’t bother me. Bea actually got me a great present. It was a new leather journal. I don’t think I’ve told you I’ve journaled before but yes, I am that stereotypical English major who keeps a journal. I’ve nearly finished my current one. My mum and Phillip were surprised when I was so moved by it. They had gotten me socks and a sweater respectively. Dad had gotten me a new fountain pen to go along with the journal. They both know me well.

I don’t mind that I didn’t get a physical present from you. I hadn’t expected anything in fact, but when I had gotten your email and clicked on the link your title made me have the first real laugh since coming back to England. You always have a way with words don’t you?

Only two weeks left.

Yours,  
Henry

P.S. I think my favorite so far is Follow Your Arrow

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: Feliz Navidad

Dear Henry,

You saucy dog. I about slapped June upside the head when she told me she had been hiding a present from you. You really know me well don’t you? I’ll have to keep the whiskey glasses at home because I don’t trust my fraternity brothers not to break them. The Austin cityline is very me though. Well done. Now I feel bad that I only made you a playlist and insulted you in the title. 

I would expect nothing less than a daily journal from you. I wonder how many times I’ve come up in it. I bet you've insulted me too.

California is too warm right now. I’m very annoyed that I’m not wearing a sweater but at least I can go surf in a wetsuit and not be totally frozen by the end. Perks of your grandparents being from southern California I suppose.

I hope you’re not totally bored. I saw Pez’s snap story. It looked like you guys were having a fun time. I wish I could have been there with you but I guess we’re doomed to being 8 hours behind each other huh? I don’t really want to get back into the school groove but I do miss not being able to walk down a couple of blocks and bug you to death. It makes life more fun.

Yours,  
Alex

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: New years

Dearest Alex,

I must warn you I am very inebriated at this point it is only spell check that is saving me from looking like a total fool. Pez threw a giant New Years Eve party and I think I drank an entire bottle of Dom Perignon by myself. 

It was fun but not the fun that I’m used to with you and June and Nora. It was the fun I grew up with. The same girls and the same boys and the same clambering to try and be my friend because somehow I might get them into the royal circles. If they knew anything about me it is this one fact: I am trying desperately to get out of the royal circles.

They don’t get my humor. They call me Americanized. When I try to talk about Texas they roll their eyes and only let me talk because again, royal circles. It’s no longer home for me I’ve come to realize. I don’t think it’s ever been home.

I didn’t have a New Years Eve kiss. Sure there were girls all making themselves painful available but I didn’t want one with someone who didn’t matter. So instead my New Years Eve kiss was the rim of the champagne bottle. 

Only four more days.

Always yours,  
Henry

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: New years

Dear Henry,

You really were lit huh? You missed a capital letter in that title there. Hope you didn’t completely black out lol. 

June, Nora, and I spent New Years on 6th street. I couldn’t handle being cooped up in the mansion any longer. I think my mom was glad to be rid of my sorry ass too. ‘You’re bringing the rest of us down Diaz’ she said to me more than once over the last week. 

I’m incredibly hung over right now but I gotta say, you and I had the same New Years kiss. Nothing better than a rim of a glass to keep your mind occupied. 

This has honestly been the worst vacation. It’s like my mind can’t seem to focus on one thing to do. It keeps jumping back and forth. TV is too boring, books are too long. I’ve done a lot of running down the Greenbelt but even that can’t seem to get my mind straight like it normally does. 

Whatever, at least school’s starting soon. 

Two days.

Yours,  
Alex

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: See You Soon

Dear Alex,

I’m typing this in the airport and I’ve never been more happy to be sitting in a place where people are constantly annoyed. This vacation has felt more like a torture chamber than anything. Thank everything above that it’s over and I’m finally going back to Texas where I won’t have grandmothers hovering over my shoulder or nosy mums wondering who I’ve been writing to. 

You have no idea how freeing it felt leaving that place behind. I don’t think I looked back with the driver dropped me off. Already I feel the weight of my family lifting off of me. It’s a good feeling.

Looking forward to seeing you,  
Henry

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: See You Soon

Dear Henry,

Finally.

Yours,  
Alex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew what a chapter am I right? I was contemplating on splitting it into two but I figured I might as well keep it all together. Yes I know it was entirely tropey of me to put in a bedsharing scene but I had to okay???? My little shipper heart needed it. Anyways I hope you enjoy this Christmas chapter in the middle of August. (Also yes, Henry got Alex a pair of whiskey tumblers with the Austin sky line on them for Christmas that he sneakily bought when they were shopping together) Let me know what you think!!!!
> 
> follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Greenbelt** A large park in Austin that is known for its running trails. It includes Zilker park! It's massive and knowing Alex he def ran the entire thing to get a certain blonde out of his thoughts.


	9. kiss me quiet

Alex waited patiently (not patiently) by his car. Henry had just texted him that he was heading out and he couldn’t wait inside for much longer so of course he jumped out and leaned against the Jeep, fingers tapping anxiously against his crossed arms. 

Finally he saw Henry walking through the glass doors and his face brightened. He waved and Henry quickly changed his direction to head towards Alex.

“Hey man!” Alex grinned. “Good to see you.” 

Henry was grinning as well. “That flight was a nightmare. Three screaming babies. Three!” Henry laughed and sucked in a deep breath. “Ahh, the humidity.” 

It was a relatively warm January day, the winter taking a breather it seemed for Henry’s arrival. 

“Are you super tired?” Alex asked and Henry gave him a little shrug.

“I didn’t get to sleep much and I think it’s like 2am to my body.”

“So I’ll take it as a yes.” Alex laughed and grabbed one of Henry’s suitcases and put it in the trunk of the Jeep. Henry placed the other inside as well and moved around to the passenger seat. 

“How is everything?” Henry asked as he buckled in.

“Oh you know, I’m dreading starting the semester again but it’s fine.” Alex said dismissively as he pulled away from the curb. 

“I thought you liked school.” Henry teased.

“I mean I do but I’m not looking forward to all the late nights and the lack of sleep.” He said, giving Henry a pointed look.

“Yeah you’re right.” Henry said. “I convinced my parents to let me stay on as an English major though. I appealed to their sensibilities of the fact that having a poet in the family would be much better than a politician who can’t get in front of a crowd without getting nervous and sweaty.” 

“Really? That’s awesome! I would have voted for you though. If I could vote in England that is.” Alex laughed. “How’s your family?”

Henry shrugged again. “The only ones I really care about are my dad and Bea and they’re both great. Mum was being quite a handful at the Christmas luncheon. I think she’s starting to actually fight back against my grandmother. Phillip is...well, Phillip. His wife is perfectly lovely but a bit boring.”

“From your emails it sounds like you were slowly dying.” Alex said a little sadly.

“Yeah but I’m here now and it’s already a million times better.” Henry said with a soft smile and Alex had to turn back to the road, hands squeezing hard against the steering wheel as a thrill ran through him. 

This was already a lot. 

After not seeing Henry for a month, having him in person felt like he was being slowly set on fire. It was intoxicating but he had to keep himself under control. His mind kept wandering toward the idea that Henry would push him away if he tried any of the things he had thought about over the break. 

Trying the delicate brush of fingers, the lingering glances, the kissing of lips. 

He had to concentrate hard not to steer them off the road at this point. 

They made it back to Henry’s apartment and Alex put the Jeep in park. He was silent for a moment, same as Henry. 

“You probably--” He started.

“Do you want to--” Henry started at the same time. “Oh sorry, you go first.” Henry offered.

“You probably want to sleep huh?” Alex finished awkwardly.

Henry shifted and then shrugged. He was shrugged a lot since coming back. “I was going to offer you to come up but if you don’t want to that’s fine.”

“Oh.” Alex stated before he smiled. “I mean we do have a lot of The Office to catch up on.” 

“Right.” Henry smiled.

Alex helped Henry with his suitcases and they made their way to the apartment. Pez was flying home tomorrow.

The air felt a little stale from not being lived in for a month. 

Alex placed Henry’s bag in his room and went to his corner of the couch. 

For some reason he felt off, like everything in him was reaching blindly for something that he couldn’t quite grab a hold of. He thought seeing Henry again would make him feel happy and ecstatic and it had but the ideas he had in his head didn’t quite match up to the reaction he got. He had imagined Henry coming running at him and hugging him tightly. He imagined Henry laughing and smiling and telling him how much he had missed Alex. He had read their emails over and over again, to a point that he could probably quote his favorite parts of them. 

He looked down at his hands as Henry unpacked his suitcase and he bit his lip. He felt like he was intruding in Henry’s life and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He desperately wanted to feel a part of it. He wanted to make a place for himself beyond just that crazy frat bro who had taken Henry in and showed him his world. He wanted to Henry to bring him into his world now. 

He sighed and sank back into the cushions, head up looking at the ceiling and he closed his eyes. 

“I thought I was the one that was supposed to sleep.” Henry interrupted and Alex’s eyes flew open. He shifted back into a more upright position.

“Oh right,” Alex laughed a little awkwardly. “I was just waiting for you.”

Henry gave him an odd look before a little half smile. “I’m nearly finished. You can go ahead and pull it up if you want. I’ll be listening.” 

Alex nodded and brought up the next episode and stared at the TV, not really watching. He felt something start to build inside of him, words unspoken that were pushing against his tongue. He brought his knees up to his chest and propped up his chin on them. He let out a sigh. He had seen the signs right? He wasn’t imagining things when it came to Henry right? 

Then why had Henry not been as excited to see him at the airport? Sure there was a smile and a laugh but Alex had practically been vibrating in anticipation. 

He looked up when Henry came into the living room and sat down in his designated corner, propping up his feet on the footstool. Alex turned his head. Henry had changed into sweats and a soft sweater. He looked even better in person after all these days of Alex imagining him through his emails.

Henry turned to him and smiled before looking back at the TV. Alex didn’t look away from Henry.

“I see you staring at me.” Henry commented, turning back to Alex. “Is there something on my face?”

Alex shook his head. “No I’m just...observing.” He finished awkwardly. Henry gave him an odd look. 

“Alright then creeper.”

Alex finally turned back to the TV. His chest felt tight, unspoken words now banging against his skull. They watched in silence for a bit until the sun began to get lower and lower.

“I should probably head back. I have to get things ready at the house tomorrow. We have spring rush starting next week and lord knows they can’t do anything without me.” Alex said as he rose from the couch. 

“Okay.” Henry said. “Do you want to get lunch the first day or classes or something?”

“Yeah sure, that sounds good.” Alex agreed. Henry smiled at him. “See you later Henry.” 

“Bye Alex.”

And then he was leaving.

The next day he was in a bit of a fog. More than once people had to snap their fingers in front of him to get him out of his daze. 

The first day of classes was even worse. He hardly paid attention and he was grateful that it was syllabus week and there was no actual lecturing at least for the first day. 

His second class of the day was a mythology class that he had picked up last minute when his advisor had emailed him to let him know that he still needed a humanities course. He had chosen it because he did enjoy the myths in high school and thought it might as well be something he could look forward to to break up the monotony of government classes. 

He looked around for a seat and his eyebrows rose when he recognized a familiar face.

“Holy shit you didn’t tell me that you were taking this class.” He sat down next to Henry who startled a bit at his sudden appearance but quickly fell into a grin.

“What are you doing taking a mythology class?” Henry laughed and whacked him on the shoulder.

“I needed a humanities credit.” Alex laughed. “Figures it would be the same one you’re taking.”

“I thought you were too good for liberal arts.” Henry smirked.

“Oh I am for sure, but alas here I am fulfilling my requirement.”

“Get ready for a lot of long Greek names that all kind of sound the same.”

“You sound like you’re familiar.”

“Posh schooling remember? Us English practically ooze mythology.” 

“Ah makes sense.” Alex teased as the professor began the lecture. He felt his heart soar a little at the fact that he and Henry would be sharing another class together.

They got lunch at the SAC, waiting in line far too long to get Chick-fil-a. It was too cold to spend it outside so they ate in the middle of the crowded student center and discussed their classes so far. 

Alex was feeling a little better, less wild and unhinged inside. It helped that they were in public. More witnesses and more need to constantly put on a performance. He had quickly learned how to do this song and dance.

The rest of the week went fine, nothing out of the ordinary other than Nora texting him far too many memes about very specific things that he had to actually google to understand. Especially the math ones. Shouldn’t she have known by now that he was clueless when it came to math?

It was finally Friday night and he was very much ready to have a good time. It was nearing the end of spring rush and his fraternity was throwing their first open party of the semester. He had of course invited the girls and Pez and Henry. They of course had said yes. 

Already he was feeling good, loose and happy. 

He was dancing with Nora on the dance floor, June with Pez and Henry on the fringes. He smiled wildly as he let his hands fall to Nora’s waist as she reached out to grip hands with June. The music changed and he felt like he needed another drink. 

“Henry, need another?” He asked over the music, holding his solo cup.

Henry nodded and the two of them left the hot dance floor for the quieter inside. He grabbed Henry’s hand, leading him up the stairs.

“Come on, I’ve got better stuff upstairs.” He said over his shoulder to the boy who followed dutifully behind. 

He unlocked his bedroom door and let Henry come in before locking it after. “If I don’t lock it, someone’s bound to hook up in here and I don’t want to change the sheets.” He explained and Henry let out a loud laugh as he sat on the bed rather ungracefully. He turned to his shelf and pulled down the Jack Daniels and poured some in each of their cups before sitting down next to Henry on the bed, close enough for their shoulders to touch.

“So this is where the famous Alex Claremont-Diaz sleeps huh?” Henry asked, head turning in all directions to take in the sights of a very small, rather untidy room.

“Yup. I honestly surprised it’s taken this long for you to come over.” He said as he took a sip of the whiskey.

“Well you’re the one that keeps my couch warm and drinks all of Pez’s tea. Got to keep you around for that I suppose.” Henry said with a cheeky grin, eyes falling to Alex’s. He noticed that Henry didn’t mention the time they slept in Henry’s bed. He wasn’t about to bring it up.

He felt those unspoken words whisper in his head, becoming louder with every second. He took another big gulp of his drink and poured himself some more. Henry sipped his drink, looking at Alex over the rim of the cup. Alex felt his cheeks heat up a bit and he looked away. God he felt like he was back in middle school and having his first crush except he was a junior in college and he was having his first crush on a boy. A very very big crush on a boy.

He cleared his throat. “So you like your classes so far?” He asked, words coming out in a bit of a drunken jumble. 

Henry nodded. “Yeah, you?”

Alex’s eyes went to Henry’s bright pink lips and nodded. “Yeah.” He said softly before his gaze flicked up to Henry’s. 

There was a long pause between them and Alex was suddenly very aware of how close he was sitting to Henry. 

“I uh…” He broke the silence. “I really enjoyed your emails over the break. They kept me sane.” He said with an awkward laugh, hands cupping his solo cup as he looked down.

“Yeah, me too.” Henry whispered back. Alex looked up.

“I’ve enjoyed spending my time with you.” He whispered, suddenly on the precipice of something great.

“Yeah, I have as well.” Henry whispered back.

Alex was silent, eyes going to Henry’s lips once more and he felt himself get hot. He was sure he was blushing at this point.

He was just going to do it.

He was just going to--

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Henry’s for a soft kiss, fingers gripping his cup hard to keep from doing anything else with them. He felt the spark between them light up. Henry’s mouth slowly moved against his own before moving back and Alex was left alone in the void.

“Alex…” Henry started and Alex’s eyes opened slowly. 

“What?” He whispered, so soft he was afraid that Henry hadn’t actually heard it because it took him so long to respond.

“You’re drunk.” Henry said softly.

“Yes.” Alex agreed. “But not so drunk I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

Henry gave him a pained look. “You’re going to regret it in the morning.”

Alex shook his head insistently. “No I won’t.”

“Yes you will.” Henry rose from the bed and Alex reached out to grab his arm.

“Please don’t.” 

Henry stopped for a moment. 

“I won’t regret it.” Alex repeated and tugged Henry back down. Henry refused and stood there instead. Alex felt something start at the back of his throat. He was _not_ going to cry in front of Henry. “Don’t lie and tell me you don’t feel something too.” He was becoming dangerous. “Don’t tell me your emails and your texts and your stupid _flirting_ mean nothing.”

Henry watched him, obviously pained. Alex watched him sigh and droop his shoulder. “No, I can’t lie.”

Alex felt a spark of hope. “Then why are you avoiding this?”

Henry stepped out from Alex’s reach and turned toward the door but didn’t move. Alex could hardly breath, afraid that if he did Henry would be gone forever. “It can’t work between us.”

“Why?” Alex asked, notes of desperation in his tone.

Henry turned around and held out his hands. “Because Alex, you’re the president of a fucking _fraternity_ and the son of the Governor of one of the most conservative states in America and I’m a fucking English _noble_. It can’t fucking work.”

Alex was frozen in place. “Who says?”

“Everyone. Literally everyone in my life says.”

“Not me. Not when it’s you.” Alex breathed out and Henry turned away, face pinched. Alex rose from the bed, leaving his drink on his desk and he moved in front of Henry, putting himself between the boy and the door. “Why don’t you want to try? Don’t you want to be happy? I can make you happy.”

Henry’s face softened a bit but his eyes were still brimming with pain. “I’m not sure I deserve happiness.” He whispered and Alex reached out and took his hand. 

“Yes you do.” He insisted. He reached out with his other hand that wasn’t holding Henry’s and he stroked along Henry’s jawline, thumb brushing along Henry’s cheek. “You deserve everything.”

Henry was frozen in place, staring down at Alex before he broke and let himself lean into Alex’s hand just a fraction of an inch. He squeezed Alex’s hand. “You’re going to make a good politician one day.”

Alex gave him a faint half smile before he wrapped his arms around Henry’s torso and pulled him in tight for a hug. “Let yourself be happy.” He murmured into Henry’s shoulder.

Henry slowly but surely relaxed into the hug and he finally hugged Alex back, hand coming up to tangle in Alex’s curls at the nape of his neck. Alex let out a soft sigh at the feeling, suddenly whole.

Eventually they pulled back. He could still see the pain in Henry’s eyes but he also saw relief.

“I’ve been thinking about you since that Halloween kiss.” Alex admitted. Henry turned away and Alex reached out to pull him back. He wouldn’t allow Henry to avoid him anymore. “I’ll admit it was a rough period but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m attracted to you. Attracted to men really. It took that kiss to realize that though. As much as I wanted to strangle you for leaving me alone like that, I also want to thank you.”

Henry ducked his head and again Alex refused to let him look away. Slowly Henry brought his eyes up to Alex’s. “I shouldn’t have let you alone. I was terrified that I had just lost you though. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Already forgiven. A million times over.” Alex said easily. 

“So...what do we do now?” Henry asked, uncertain.

Alex shrugged. “I suppose we do what we have been doing. Except maybe with kissing.” Now there was a mischievous glint in his eye.

Henry sucked in a breath. “Do we tell people? I’m not sure if I want to tell people. I’m not sure if I’m ready to do anything in public.”

Alex shook his head. “No, me neither. I do want to kiss you though. And maybe we can continue to do that in private.”

Henry nodded and Alex smiled. 

Alex reached out and pulled Henry’s face down to his own and they were kissing, this time an actual kiss. Not one done out of panic. Not one done out of desperation. This was a proper kiss where both parties were ready for it. 

Alex sighed happily against Henry’s lips as he let them part. Henry’s tongue slipped inside and he pulled Alex closer to him while Alex’s arms wrapped tighter around Henry’s torso. For once he wasn’t looking for a quick fuck or a hook-up. Alex couldn’t have been bothered to date in the past, mostly because he hadn’t found someone who didn’t make him want to scream in annoyance after more than a week together. Henry was the first. Henry was the first of a lot of things it seemed.

They broke apart, hearts beating rapidly. 

Alex let out a wild laugh and Henry laughed as well, pushing their foreheads together. Alex hummed happily because finally _finally_ he could let out his dangerous thoughts without fear that he would push Henry away.

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: 

Dear Eurydice,

I want to look back so badly but if I do you will be gone from me forever so I shall take you as you are and pray you follow.

Love,  
Orpheus

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re:

Dear Eros,

You are more than you are. Sorry I took so long.

Love,  
Psyche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOOKIN FINALLY AM I RIGHT?????? honestly I'm just fucking proud of myself for holding out this long before their first ACTUAL first kiss like holy shit over 35k man look at me go. I've finished this chapter like an hour ago and I'm like 'hmm I should wait to post this' but I couldn't wait so here you go. As always please let me know your thoughts. Also heads up my summer vacation ends in two days so I'll be back at work and updates will probably be coming slower (but probs not because A. I won't be doing anything for like the first week and B. I can still get googledocs at work SO). Also lowkey feel free to spread this fanfic around to ur friends. I live to please.
> 
> P.S. I'm weak for mythology so of course I had to have these two in a mythology class purely for their emails to one another using mythological characters. I'm honestly so pumped about that
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**SAC**: Stands for 'student activity center' at UT. It's super nice and fancy and has the best fast food you can get on campus.


	10. sunshine & whiskey

“So did you like me when you first saw me?” Alex asked. He was in Henry’s corner on the couch, resting his cheek on the boy’s chest while Henry had his arms wrapped around Alex. He played a little bit with the fabric of Henry’s t-shirt.

“I thought you were cute, for sure.” Henry agreed. “But you weren’t exactly the most welcoming when I first sat next to you.”

“I’m just surprised you actually managed to sit down next to me. Very bold of you.” Alex grinned up at Henry.

Henry tried to hold back a smile but failed. He kissed the top of Alex’s head. “I guess your animal magnetism drew me to you.” 

“That’s fucking right.” Alex poked him in the chest and laughed. 

Pez suddenly burst out of his room in a daze and both Alex and Henry jumped. Pez frowned at them, squinting for a moment before a wild smile appeared. “It’s about fucking time!”

“Pez what the hell were you doing in there?” Henry asked. “I thought you were somewhere else. How long have you been in there?”

Pez straightened and shrugged. “It’s been a weekend of discovery mate.”

Alex snorted. “Did you find the Holy Grail in your room or something?”

Pez grinned wickedly. “Something like that.”

Alex peered into the room. “Oh my god!” He yelled.

“Shut the fuck up Alex!” June yelled back from Pez’s room. 

“Why is everyone shouting?” Nora said sleepily from the bed.

“Oh my god!” Alex repeated. He looked up at Henry and then back to June and Nora. “Oh my god!”

Henry patted Alex’s head. “It’ll be alright.”

“Oh my god.” Alex whispered to himself. “How long were they in there?”

“In their defense we were a little distracted last night.” Henry whispered back. “And a little drunk.”

They had left the Delta Sig party in the middle of it and stumbled their way towards Henry’s apartment. As much as Alex had his own room in the house, Henry’s was much quieter. 

Alex still saw flashes course through his mind. 

Henry kissing him roughly against the door. 

Alex yanking off Henry’s shirt.

Henry ripping off Alex’s pants.

Alex pushing Henry on the bed.

Henry releasing little whimpers and gripping Alex’s hair.

They had woken up in a tangle of limbs before slowly waking up and doing it all over again, this time much more sober.

He was pretty sure he was going to remember the face that Henry had given him when he asked if he could blow him. Alex hadn’t done it before but he was more than willing to try. Especially after thinking about it for so long. His search history from the past few months should be set on fire if he was being honest with himself.

“So y’all a thing now?” Nora asked.

“I honestly can’t talk to you while you’re in there.” Alex said at the same time that Henry said “Yes, I suppose we are.”

June snickered while Alex whacked Henry in the chest. Henry gave him an innocent expression. “They’re practically your family right?”

“I mean...I _guess_ though I might have to disown June after this.” Alex grumbled.

“Oh shut up! I don’t judge you.” June scoffed.

Pez was watching the entire thing while eating a piece of toast. “I’m just so glad this all happened. Well done everyone.”

Now it was Henry’s turn to roll his eyes. “Pez don’t be an idiot.” 

Pez shrugged happily before walking back into his bedroom and shutting the door.

Alex fell back against Henry’s chest in a slight daze. “I’m pretty sure I’m dead and this is my hellscape.” 

“I’m in your hellscape?” Henry cooed. “Aw how cheesy of you.”

“Shut up.” Alex said without much fire behind it. He reached up and kissed Henry softly. Henry hummed against his lips as he squeezed Alex a little tighter. “I feel like I need to take a cold shower after that. I mean like if it was anyone other than my _sister_. Like ugh.” He shuddered. “I don’t want to know that part of her life.”

“Well she definitely knows about that part of your life.” Henry said with a sly look.

“Don’t you start.” Alex warned. 

Henry grinned and kissed Alex again. Alex shifted so that he was basically straddling Henry at that point and ran his fingers through Henry’s soft hair.

“Oh hell no! You don’t get to call me out when you’re pulling this bullshit!” June yelled and Alex and Henry jolted apart. 

“Call it.” Nora mused from the doorway. “You owe me $20 bucks June.”

“What the hell was the bet?” Alex narrowed his eyes. Both were silent. “What was the fucking bet?” Alex rose from the couch. Henry was watching a little wide eyed but amused nonetheless.

“June bet that you would get together in March during Spring Break and I said that you would get together the first week of the new semester.” Nora grinned and June shrugged.

“I guess I just thought you were made of stronger stuff.” June admitted. 

Alex sputtered for a moment before crossing his arms. Henry wrapped his own arms around Alex’s torso and brought him back on the couch. Alex allowed it.

“He does have a weakness for blondes.” Nora mentioned. “Plus I saw his open laptop. Henry, you’re such a poet.” Nora winked and Alex struggled against Henry’s grip around his waist. 

“Thank you Nora.” Henry said smoothly while Alex continued to attempt to worm his way out of the very strong arms encircling him. 

“Let me at them Henry. Henry I swear to god if you don’t let me go right this second I will avoid you for an entire week.” Alex fumed. 

Henry kissed Alex’s cheek and leaned his head against Alex’s head. “No you won’t.”

Alex squirmed. “Yes I will. I will die on this hill let me go.” 

“Mmm, nope.” Henry hummed and June just snickered as she walked into the kitchen. 

“You’re evil.” Alex muttered and finally relaxed in Henry’s grip.

“Truly horrific.” Henry agreed. 

Alex was still for a moment before attempting to surge forward again but Henry’s grip still didn’t break. “I swear to god you’re a fucking god or something.” He grumbled before finally giving up for real. 

“It’s all his inbreeding.” Nora said and it was Henry’s turn to make an appalled noise. Alex just cackled. 

“Serves you right.” Alex poked Henry on the nose. 

“I am not a product of inbreeding!” Henry protested. Nora just shrugged in such a nonchalant way that Alex was sure that she knew something the others didn’t. 

“We should leave the blasphemers shouldn’t we darling?” Alex said, head going back to look into Henry’s eyes upside down. He saw a spark of something in them.

“That sounds like an excellent idea.” Henry agreed and they disappeared into Henry’s room.

“I think we’re going to need to find a new place to hang out.” Alex sighed as he flopped himself onto Henry’s bed that smelled like the both of them.

Henry came down next to him. “Or we could just say here forever.” 

Alex twisted to face him. They were face to face even though Henry was several inches taller than him. “I’ll pretend I got mono so we can skip class.”

Henry chuckled and slung his arm across Alex’s waist and brought him closer. Alex intertwined his legs with Henry’s. His fingers reached out to slowly move their way along Henry’s features. Henry stayed still, eyes watching Alex until Alex’s eyes came up to Henry’s. 

“You’re beautiful.” Alex breathed out.

“So are you.” Henry said softly. “Even when you are about to attempt murder.”

Alex snorted and rolled onto his back. Henry scooted over and climbed on top of Alex. He let out a grunt when Henry fully let him feel his weight. “Oh my god you’re so fucking heavy.” He groaned out, slapping Henry’s back. “Jesus Christ get off I can’t fucking breathe.”

Henry grinned. “Nope.”

Alex groaned again and attempted to shove Henry off but it was all dead weight. “This is how I die, being crushed by abs and giant thighs.” He said in a strained voice. Henry laughed.

“Is that all I am to you?”

“Yes.” Alex said with conviction. 

“What a moniker. Put it on my tombstone will you?”

“Bold of you to assume we won’t die in a flaming car crash together. The tabloids will go nuts.”

“The way you drive I would think nothing less.” Henry mused and Alex scoffed.

“How fucking dare you. I am an _excellent_ driver.”

“Sure you are.” Henry kissed him quickly and Alex grumbled to himself.

“I am.”

“I know.”

“I _am_.”

“I _know_.” Henry grinned and Alex rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Please get off of me so we can fulfill that prophecy I’ve just spoken into the universe.” Henry finally obliged and Alex sucked in the first deep breath. “Oh sweet, sweet air. I’ve missed you.” 

“You are such a drama queen.” Henry rolled his eyes.

Alex suddenly pounced on him and it was Henry’s turn to grunt at the sudden weight against him. “See, it doesn’t feel that great does it?” Alex asked as he looked down from where he straddling Henry’s hips. He felt Henry’s hands go to his waist. 

“I don’t know, this is a pretty great image.” Henry mused, biting his lip suggestively. 

Alex narrowed his eyes. “Oh no you don’t. I know that look.”

“What?” Henry asked innocently.

“Shut up. I’m starving let’s go get brunch or lunch or whatever is suitable right now. I’m all out of whack time wise.” Alex poke Henry in the chest and Henry gave him a bemused smile. 

They got dressed (though they kept getting distracted by kisses and _hands_) and made it out the door.

Alex wanted to hold Henry’s hand as they walked toward Kerbey Lane. He knew they shouldn’t. The restaurant was busy as usual and they waited outside.

“What are you going to get? I’ve been dreaming about these pancakes for eons.” Alex sighed happily at the smell coming out of the door.

“I’ve never actually been here before.” Henry said and Alex gasped.

“Wait what? Are you serious?”

“Yeah I’ve always walked past it but I’ve never actually stopped to eat.”

“Holy shit you are in for a great awakening.” 

“I guess it is my turn huh?” Henry smirked and Alex’s mouth fell open.

“Okay you know what--” He stood and began walking away.

“Wait,” Henry laughed and held out his hang to grab Alex’s arm. “Wait I was just--” He laughed again, head falling forward. “I was just kidding.”

Alex narrowed his eyes.

“Oh shut up you know it was funny.” Henry grinned.

Alex tried to hold his frown but couldn’t. “Whatever.” He conceded and Henry bit his lip around his smile. 

Eventually they got seated and Alex ordered for Henry. They each got two giant plate sized pancakes.

“Wow they really do do it bigger in Texas.” Henry said with a slightly shocked tone.

“That’s fucking right.” Alex winked.

Henry nearly choked.

The entire week all Alex could think about was Henry. He was so thankful that it was the start of the semester so if he happened to drift off into a very vivid daydream of forcing Henry into a rodeo look he wouldn’t miss much. 

They saw each other every day, mostly doing normal things. A lot of the time they met up in the library to work on homework. 

Most of the time they did not spend on homework, but instead _looking_ like they were spending time on homework but spending time playing footsie under the desk.

“We are so annoying.” Henry sighed as he leaned back in his chair. The floor was empty around them though Alex could see a few people already studying in the back carousels with their headphones in.

“You know what would make this fun?” Alex turned back to Henry.

“I’m not sure if I like that look you’ve got.” Henry said slowly, nervously.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Alex said innocently. 

“Alex…” Henry started.

“Henry…” Alex smirked.

Henry was silent but Alex could practically feel the tension mount between them. “I am not kissing you in the library.”

“Who said anything about kissing?” Alex looked down as he wrote some of his notes, smirk still firmly planted on his face.

“Oh god.” Henry hissed under his breath.

Alex pushed back from the desk. “Meet me in the 750s baby.”

“Oh _god_.” Henry breathed. He watched Alex walk away towards the bookcases that were painfully empty. “I’m going to hell.” Henry muttered under his breath. He rose after Alex was gone and went to go find him.

It was very dim in the far reaches of this point of the library. 

“You just had to choose art huh?” Henry murmured as Alex ran his fingers across the spines of the books with names like ‘Art in Renaissance’ and ‘Da Vinci: Masterworks’. Alex turned to look at Henry.

“It felt fitting considering what I’m looking at.” Alex’s eyes were dark. 

It was nearly 8pm on a Thursday and though Henry knew that it was very much a dead library, he still felt nervous.

Alex went back to stroking his finger along the spines. He looked back at Henry, silent but saying everything with his expression. He pulled out a book for Henry to read the title. ‘Painting the Christian Works’. “Do you think what we’re about to do is in here? It feels very holy to me.”

Henry watched Alex, lips parted, lost for words.

Alex pushed the book back in and practically stalked toward Henry. “Don’t worry. My god doesn’t judge. He forgives.” 

He cornered Henry with his body, pushing Henry against the metal shelves without much resistance. Without much warning he stole Henry’s breath with a kiss that felt like fire, hands automatically going around Henry’s waist to bring him flush against Alex’s. He found it so annoying that Henry was that much taller than him, but no matter. He could still get the boy just as hot and bothered than if they were the same height. 

They kissed like they were about to get caught until Alex pulled off of Henry. The boy’s blue eyes fluttered open, a blush spreading across his cheeks and down his neck. Alex gave him a lopsided smirk as his hands moved to Henry’s belt and quickly undid it.

“Alex, holy shit, no what are you--” Henry started before Alex stole his breath again with an intense kiss.

“Shh, let me do this for you.” Alex said against Henry’s lips and he was pushing his hand inside Henry’s pants, cupping him. Henry let out a sharp gasp that Alex quieted with another kiss. “If you don’t watch it, we’ll be caught.” He said mischievously. 

“You truly are the devil.” Henry gasped out. 

Alex grinned before he pushed Henry’s pants down more and then he lowered himself to his knees. 

“Oh fuck.” Henry whispered, biting his lip. 

Alex pushed down Henry’s underwear and he looked up at Henry. “You’re going to have to be quiet. Can you do that baby?”

Henry let out a low, shuddering his breath. “Fuck.” He bit out before nodding.

Alex gave him a happy smile before grasping Henry’s cock, gently at first but then firmer and he reached forward to give it a delicate lick. Henry’s hands gripped the shelves roughly, going back to biting his lip. 

Alex licked a long stripe up from the base to the tip before swirling his tongue around the tip. He tried to remember how he liked it done to him in the past and he transferred that to his technique. He wrapped his lips around Henry, delicate at first before his enthusiasm picked up. He felt Henry’s fingers intertwine with his hair and he moaned when Henry pulled on them lightly. It caused Henry’s hips to stutter forward and he had to pull back quickly to avoid gagging. 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Henry chanted. He looked up at the golden boy whose head was resting back against the books, entire body only being held up by sheer will at this point. 

Alex wanted to see him come.

He renewed his efforts, going faster. What he couldn’t get into his mouth, he had wrapped his hand around. Henry looked like he might bite thought his lip and Alex was living for the tiny puffs of breath that were coming out of Henry at this point, the fact that his hair was being pulled tighter and tighter showing that Henry was losing control.

“Alex--” Henry broke off, biting his lip again. “I-I’m close _please_.” Henry whined in a low voice and Alex sucked him hard, cheeks hollowing and Henry’s eyebrows squeezed together and then he came undone, coming into Alex’s mouth. 

Alex watched as Henry’s brow slowly relaxed and his grip on Alex’s hair slackened. 

Alex pulled off of Henry and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Henry was breathing hard as his eyes slowly opened, hand coming to cup Alex’s jaw in reverence. 

“That was...breathtaking.” Henry murmured and pulled Alex to his feet. He let himself fall a little against Henry who kissed him hard. Alex snorted.

“You are so lame.”

“I speak only the truth.”

“Okay poet. Better pull up your pants.” 

Henry’s cheeks reddened and he did just that, buckling his belt quickly. “What about you?” He asked, reaching out, fingers worming their way just under Alex’s shirt and into the elastic of his sweats. 

“What about me?” He asked, curious as to what Henry might say.

“This feels very one-sided.” 

“Can’t a guy just blow another guy and call it good?” Alex raised an eyebrow. He ignored the fact that he almost slipped up and said _boyfriend_. He wasn’t sure if they were there yet, and he wasn’t about to ask. Not in this moment when Henry’s feelings would be out of whack in post-ograsmic bliss.

Henry pursed his lips. “I’ll return the favor. And you won’t know when.”

It was Alex’s turn to blush and he stood there as Henry brushed past him and walked back to their study table. He laughed to himself and shook his head before following after Henry. 

They didn’t get much studying done after that.

He found himself spending most nights over at Henry’s place as the weeks drew on. He found himself keeping all the notes that Henry would leave him when Henry had to get up for his 8am. He found himself looking for Henry in a crowd. He found himself constantly smiling when Henry was back in front of him. He found himself annoyed and grumpy when he didn’t get to see Henry for a day.

He found himself entirely and wholly wrapped up in one stupid man.

This was getting dangerous.

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: project meeting

Dearest Alex,

I’m afraid I won’t be able to get to see you today because I’m meeting for a project. Just know that I’ll miss you always. I would have texted you but I don’t get very good service but I do get wi-fi. Please don’t eat all the leftover lasagna. 

Yours always,  
Henry

P.S.Dear Andromache,

I will always choose you. No matter the people surrounding me, I will always choose you.

Love,  
Hector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when you try and wait to hold off on posting your chapter but you're weak and can't wait. I'm the worst (but also the best right? please say I'm the best for spamming this ship on ao3). If you aren't aware that lovely rating has changed. Ur welcome you dirty dirty people. As always let me know what you think. I LITERALLY live for these comments god bless.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Kerbey Lane**: honestly one of the best brunch places in Austin. The original is right off of campus and has pancakes the size of your plate. They also have the best drunk food and THE BEST queso you will ever have in your life.


	11. blame it on texas

“So is Henry staying here for spring break?” June asked around her sandwich. It was incredibly muffled but Alex had become very good at understanding mouth full of food June speak.

“Yeah, Bea’s band is coming to play at South By so he wanted to see her. Besides, he hates the rest of his family besides his dad so it makes sense.” Alex said. “What about Pez?” He wagged his eyebrows. “Is he sticking around.”

“Oh fuck off.” June rolled her eyes. “We aren’t a thing. More of a...when the mood hits.”

“Ugh gross.” Alex pretended to gag and June kicked him under the table.

“Shut up. How are you and Henry doing by the way? I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah classes are keeping me busy.” Alex said a little sadly. “But we’re good.”

“I’m assuming you haven’t told anyone outside of us right?” June asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Ahh…” Alex started before shaking his head.

“Not even mom?”

“Oh my god are you kidding? She would flip!” Alex said in horror at the idea of telling his mom that he was dating a boy.

“No she wouldn’t. She would totally be fine with it.”

“Okay yeah she would be fine with it but she would also be thinking about her prospects of getting elected again with a bisexual son who’s currently dating an English noble. Yeah that’s a lot.” Alex pointed out and June was silent for a moment. “You know I’m right.”

June let out a sigh. “Fucking Texas.”

“Yeah...fucking Texas.” Alex muttered. He loved his state, he truly did. There was no other place in the world he would rather live than in Austin, but god help him if he didn’t want to strangle over half the population. That being said he would fight literally anyone who bashed it by bringing up the flaws that he was very aware of. It was honestly a miracle that his mom got elected the first time and kept a hold of her position for a second run. A third would be shaky at best, especially if his relationship was out in the open.

“You should probably tell her.” June said. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He grumbled to himself. He took another bite of his sandwich and brought out his phone. He couldn’t help but smile at the message

**Prince Charming**: Dear Odysseus,

I will always wait for you.

Love,  
Penelope

“Oh my god.” June rolled her eyes.

Alex looked up. “What?”

“Stop fucking smiling at your phone. It’s annoying.” 

“Sorry you don’t have love in your life.” He stuck out his tongue and June scoffed. He grinned again as he typed back a message.

**Alexander**: Dear Penelope,

I will always return.

Love,  
Odysseus

He smiled at the message before his face fell. “Fuck I have to talk to mom don’t I?”

June gave him a regretful nod. “Unfortunately.”

He let out a groan and let himself collapse against the chair.

He unfortunately found himself back in the Governor’s office and he was not happy about it.

“What brings my favorite son to me on this day?” Ellen asked, looking at him over her computer screen.

“Oh you know, just checking in.” He said nonchalantly.

Ellen stopped what she was doing and turned herself fully towards Alex. “What did you do now?”

“Nothing! Why do you always assume I’ve done something bad?” He protested.

“Because you never visit me unless you’ve visited Rafael and I know you haven’t visited him today so obviously it’s important if you’re coming straight to me.” Ellen raised an eyebrow in a perfect rendition of his own.

“Alright, alright good points.” Alex held up his hands in defeat. “Um…” He started and suddenly he felt very nervous. He loved his mother and she was very open and honest with him and June and he knew that she would love him no matter what, but he was terrified that she wouldn’t look at him the same way. That suddenly her baby boy was someone she didn’t know and he was scared to death that he wouldn’t have her in his life anymore. It was irrational he thought to himself, but was it truly? He had heard the horror stories of parents who completely cut off their children after finding out about their sexuality. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to survive both financially and physically if that happened to him.

“Alex…” His mom reached out with an open hand. “What’s the matter honey?”

He swallowed hard as he automatically put his hand in hers. Suddenly things were blurry and he realized there were tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t look up at her. 

“Oh sweetheart.” Ellen’s voice was sad and she released her hold on his hand and got up to wrap him up in a hug. He automatically stood and wrapped his arms around her. “Whatever it is we can work through it.”

He nodded and she leaned back to look at him in the face. She was shorter than he was and she reached up to wipe away his tears. “Um...you know Henry?” He started again and Ellen nodded. “Yeah um...he and I are are...kinda together. Like as a couple.” He said in a small voice and the relief spread across Ellen’s face.

“Oh my lord I thought you had gotten someone pregnant.”

Alex let out a watery laugh and shook his head. “No, definitely not that.”

“Well thank Jesus for that one.” Ellen hugged him tight again before stepping back a bit. 

“You aren’t mad at me?” He asked quietly.

“Oh honey no. I mean this does come a bit as a shock but I could never be mad.” She cupped his cheek. “Have you told people?”

He shook his head. “No, just you and June and Nora.”

Ellen nodded and he could see the wheels begin to turn in her mind. “Do you want to tell people?”

He could see that she was giving him the option. A way to share with the outside world if he wanted and he knew she would back him up on it. No matter the cost to her political career. “I don’t think so. Not for now at least.”

Ellen nodded again and gave him a big smile. “You made a good choice with him. I like Henry.”

Alex looked down with a small smile. “Yeah I do too.” He looked up when Ellen slipped her hand into his. 

“Thank you for telling me sweetheart.” She squeezed. “I know that must have been hard.”

Alex gave her a faint smile. “I wanted you to know. Before we told people or whatever.” In the back of his mind he was slightly terrified that he wouldn’t be able to have the ability to tell people on his own, that someone would out the two of them. Perhaps that was why he was willing to tell his mother. He would die if she found out from anyone other than himself. It was always a possibility in the technology world he lived in today. “Is this going to mess you up? Me...dating Henry that is?”

“Alexander Diaz, you don’t worry about me for one second. You truly are your father aren’t you?” Ellen scolded him. She gave him one more hug before moving around to sit behind her desk once more. “It may take a little more work once election year rolls around but I’m never one to back down from a challenge.” 

He stood there with a faint smile. “Thanks mom.”

She gave him a loving look. “You’re my kid. I don’t care who you date. Unless it’s a hooker then I draw the line.” She pointed at him in a warning. 

He held up his hands. “No hookers. Promise.”

She smiled again and straightened, looking back at her computer screen. “Oh shit I’m late.” She rose again and made her wait towards the door. She stopped by to bring Alex’s head down to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Bring Henry around to dinner sometime okay?”

“Will do.” He said with a nod and then she was gone and he was left a little out of sorts. He hadn’t expect things to go that way. Of course he knew that his mom would love him unconditionally but he didn’t expect things to go that smoothly. It was almost like she had known before even he did. He laughed a little to himself at the audacity of it all before leaving the office and headed back to his Jeep.

He caught up with Henry later. They hadn’t had much time to spend together now that classes were really getting going. It was more of a quick kiss, out the door kind of thing and then falling into bed in exhaustion. Finally it was the weekend and spring break was next week.

“So you told her?” Henry asked as they talked while on Henry’s bed that had quickly become more of his own than his actual room in the fraternity house.

“Yeah.” He confirmed.

“How did she take it?”

“Really well actually. She wants you to come to dinner sometime but she already likes you so you’re good.”

“Huh.” Henry said as he fell back against the headboard.

“What?” Alex sat up from Henry’s lap, Henry’s hand leaving its place from where it had been lightly scratching Alex’s scalp.

“Oh nothing.” Henry brushed it off and brought Alex in for a kiss. Alex was momentarily distracted by it before he pulled back and frowned.

“No, what is it?”

“It’s just…” Henry started and sighed, not looking at Alex anymore. “Sometimes I wish I could automatically know if my family would still like me if I told them I was gay.”

Alex felt his heart sink a little. He reached out to lace his fingers through Henry’s. “I’m sorry.” Was all he could manage. He felt awful about parading his tolerant and loving family in front of Henry sometimes. 

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault.”

“I know but I still feel bad. I wish they could know the real you and still be proud to call you family.” Alex murmured as he brought Henry’s hand to his lips and he kissed his fingers. “I wish they could see how great you are.” 

Henry gave him a soft smile. “You’re too good you know that?”

“Oh I know.” Alex grinned and Henry rolled his eyes.

“Aaand you ruined it.”

“Shut up.” Alex laughed and moved to tackle Henry, bringing him onto all of the pillows. They wrestled for a moment, rolling all over the bed until Henry finally managed to gain control and Alex was pinned under him. They were both laughing and breathless and Alex didn’t squirm in Henry’s grip. He looked up at Henry who was watching him with glittering eyes and his wild look turned into a softer one. 

He was reminded of when they did this before in Henry’s living room.

“Kiss me.” He whispered to Henry and Henry did just that. 

It was a soft kiss, nothing too deep or heated but Alex changed that very quickly. He parted his lips and his tongue sought out Henry’s. The boy easily gave into Alex and Alex wrapped his legs around Henry’s waist that was hovering above him.

“You’re very dangerous, you know that?” Henry whispered in a hoarse voice.

“So I’m both good and dangerous?” Alex grinned. “I sound like a female character in a terribly written straight white man novel.”

Henry rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

Alex opened his mouth to retort but he was silenced by Henry’s lips back on him. He pulled Henry flush against him, not really caring now that Henry was slightly crushing him. He rolled his hips up, desperate for friction at this point and Henry let out a gasp against his lips. Alex smiled mischievously. He did it again. Then again. He continued to do it until Henry’s hand pushed his hips down against the bed hard.

Henry broke the kiss and Alex’s mouth searched for Henry’s before opening his eyes when he found that the boy had pulled back.

“Why did you stop?” Alex whined.

Henry was silent as he unhooked Alex’s legs from around his waist and Alex immediately reached out for him, moving to sit up like Henry was but he was pushed back on the bed roughly, body bouncing a bit against the mattress.

“Oh I think I like this game.” Alex’s eyes were glittering with anticipation. He attempted to wiggle closer to Henry who was now sitting back on his heels between Alex’s legs. Henry’s hand stopped him again. He pouted. “It’s not fair that you’re taller than me. You have more reach.”

Henry watched him with dark, dangerous eyes that made Alex shiver. 

“Baby?” Alex asked hesitantly.

Henry’s mouth twitched at the pet name. His fingers went to Alex’s sweats and he pulled them down roughly. Alex’s entire body was yanked forward by Henry’s hands and his breath caught in his chest at the sudden movement. Henry kissed him harshly, fingers pulling on Alex’s curls and Alex let out a stuttering breath against the boy’s lips. He could feel himself harden. 

“Is this my payback for the library?” Alex asked between kisses.

“I said,” Henry kissed him roughly, bringing Alex’s bottom lip with him between his teeth when he pulled back. Alex let out a keen at the feeling as his head followed Henry’s before falling back against the pillows. “Shut up.”

Alex opened his mouth to speak but Henry was moving back between his legs once more and pushing his hand against Alex through his underwear. He sucked in a breath at the feeling and he honestly hated the smug look that Henry had on his face. He wanted to slap it off. 

“See? Isn’t that better?” Henry asked as he pulled Alex’s underwear down around his ankles and took Alex in his hand. “No more annoying talking while I’m trying to get you off.” 

“I am not annoy--” Alex started but then cut off with a choked sound when Henry began to move his hand up and down. 

“You are very much annoying.” Henry said with a raised eyebrow. Alex glared at him but the expression softened when Henry laid down on his stomach, arms coming around Alex’s thighs and he licked Alex delicately. Then he licked harder, tongue swirling. Alex’s breath quickened as Henry began to take Alex in his mouth with practiced technique. He suddenly felt bad that his blowjobs were not nearly as good as this one. 

His hands fisted into the sheets as he tried desperately not to buck his hips up into Henry’s mouth. But then Henry took him full in his mouth and _swallowed_ around him. “Oh fuck.” He gasped, hand going to Henry’s hair, fingers pulling hard. “You’re evil.”

Henry hummed and Alex choked back a moan at the feeling, the hand that wasn’t tied up in Henry’s hair going across his face. He could hear the sounds he was making but it sounded so far away. He was sure he was cursing Henry in Spanish and complimenting him in English but it sounded like another person was saying it.

Henry continued to suck him off with no end in sight until Alex suddenly felt the cliff opening up before him. He pulled on Henry’s hair harder and harder. 

“Hen, fuck, _baby_ I’m cl-I’m close.” Alex groaned and instead of Henry pulling off he started to suck even harder. He let out a loud keen as he came into Henry’s mouth, head and hips arching up and back. He felt like he was floating until he finally came back down into himself. Henry was licking up gently until he pulled off with a pop. 

“Oh god.” He breathed out when he saw Henry’s mouth bright red and his cheeks covered in spit. Henry’s eyes were glassy as he pulled himself up and kissed Alex hard. He tasted himself on Henry’s tongue and for once he didn’t mind it. His heart was still pounding against his chest as he pulled Henry close. 

His hand reached down between them to feel Henry but when he found a wet spot against Henry’s crotch he pulled off from the kiss.

“Don’t say a fucking word.” Henry warned. Alex attempted to stop the smile but it was useless. Henry’s head fell against Alex’s shoulder. “The sounds you were making were a lot okay?”

“No need to be embarrassed.” Alex murmured, humor coloring his voice.

Henry pulled his head back so he could look back at Alex. “I feel like a teenager to be quite honest.”

“The fact that you came in your pants just because you gave me a blowjob is the hottest thing you’ve ever done.” Alex grinned and kissed him hard before pulling back after a long moment. “But I’m definitely going to use that against you in the future.”

“Now who’s the evil one?” Henry narrowed his eyes.

Alex laughed and they went back to kissing until they were both too tired to keep kissing.

“We need to change the sheets.” Henry murmured against Alex’s chest. They had gotten out of the sweaty clothes and were now wrapped up in each other, very naked and very content.

“Shhh.” Alex warned.

“No, it’s gross.” Henry protested but without much fire behind it.

“Shhh, go to sleep.” Alex said again and Henry grumbled but Alex soon felt the hot breath against his skin slow until he too fell into the clutches of sleep.

He woke up to the sunlight glaring at him through the blinds. He groaned, rolling over, feeling blindly for Henry. He opened his eyes again and frowned. There was a note on Henry’s pillow. He read it with blurry eyes.

Alex,

I went out to get us some breakfast. Be back soon.

-Henry

P.S. Dear Apollo,

You are too bright to look at but look I do all the same.

Love,  
Icarus

Alex smiled to himself and rolled back onto his back, holding the note to his chest. He eventually rose from the bed and grabbed a pair of clean underwear from Henry’s drawer and pulled them on. He made his way out into the living room as he pushed a hand through his curls. 

“Sup mate.” Pez nodded from the couch and Alex clutched his chest as he jolted in surprise. “Whoops, my bad. Didn’t mean to make you jump.” He grinned and Alex rolled his eyes. “Are you wearing his underwear? Aw how _cute_.” Pez gushed.

“How the hell do you know what his underwear looks like?” Alex asked with an arched eyebrow. 

“Don’t all roommates know that?” Pez asked, genuinely confused. Now that Alex thought about it, he realized the boy was correct.

“Fair point. You didn’t want to go home for spring break either?” He asked as he sat down in his normal corner rather than Henry’s corner that Pez was now occupying. 

“Nah, I wanted to see Bea plus I’ve just seen my parents at Christmas and you have to take my family in small doses. Very loud, very obnoxious.” Pez grinned.

“Sounds like you.” Alex smirked.

“I know right?” Pez threw back his head and laughed and Alex laughed along with him.

“What’s so funny?” Henry asked as he walked in, holding a bag of pastries.

“Alex is insulting me.” Pez said happily.

“Well that’s nothing new.” Henry pursed his lips and Alex gave a shocked noise.

“Very rude Mr. Fox-Mountchristen.” Alex stuck out his tongue. 

Henry winked at him and brought the pastries along with a coffee over for Alex. The three of them watched more episodes of The Office before Pez left to go spend time with June. 

(“She’ll murder me if I told you Alex.”

“I don’t want to hear the sordid details Pez.”

“Your sister is something else though, let me tell you. Her--”

“I said no details Pez!”)

The three of them made plans to meet up later tonight for Bea’s show. 

Alex and Henry continued to watch The Office all curled up under one blanket until they have to finally crawl out from under it and get ready.

It took them longer than it should. Too many kisses and touches and breathy sighs to even come close to making them move in haste. 

Eventually they made it the venue. 

Downtown was crazy with all the tourists here for South by Southwest. Alex was pretty sure he saw at least five celebrities. He grinned at Henry who looked at him nervously.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his hand slipping into Henry’s. The place is so crowded that he feels safe to be open.

“It’s just a lot of people.” Henry chewed on his lip.

“I’ll be right here.” Alex promised and Henry nodded as Alex dragged them into the venue. It’s a crowded bar but not so crowded that they don’t have room to maneuver around. He spotted June, Pez, and Nora at the bar and he made his way over with Henry’s hand still firmly in his own.

“What’s up guys?” June said happily. She looked like she was already at least two drinks in. She gave Alex a kiss on the cheek.

They order a beer and move toward the front.

The crowd cheers as Bea and her band came onstage.

The band is probably even better than when they played at ACL when Alex first saw them. Henry loosened up after his beer and seeing his sister again. He danced with Alex for once without him urging. He supposed it was because they were off campus, they were surrounded by friends, and his sister was up on stage.

Alex felt happy and free for the first time in a while. Sure he hadn’t been _sad_ per se, but he hadn’t felt like he could truly be himself since he realized his feelings for Henry. Now he was dancing with his boyfriend.

Wait.

Boyfriend?

He watched Henry’s uninhibited expressions as he cheered and sang along with Bea’s songs, arms flailing a little maniacally and Alex felt his expression soften.

Yes.

Boyfriend.

He reached out and grabbed Henry’s arm who turned and looked at him and without a care in the world, he brought Henry’s face to his and he kissed him hard. Henry was frozen under him but quickly relaxed and wrapped his arms around Alex.

“What was that for?” Henry yelled over the speakers.

“Be my boyfriend!” Alex yelled back and Henry’s face broke into a smile.

“You have to ask?”

Alex grinned so big he was pretty sure he would break into two. He brought Henry in for another kiss before letting go with a wild laugh. 

Eventually Bea’s band finished their set and there was a brief intermission before the next band was to come on. A bar DJ came in to bridge the gap. Alex wasn’t interested in the boring trap music that his fraternity could have played better and he pulled Henry back towards the bar.

“You aren’t worried?” Henry asked a little hesitantly.

“About what?”

“About the fact that you just kissed me in public?”

“No. Are you? _Boyfriend._” Alex said the last word with emphasis. He got a shy smile out of Henry.

“No I don’t think I am.” Henry confessed.

“We’re strangers to these people. It’s like hiding in plain sight.”

Henry nodded and was about to respond when an arm was slung around the backs of both of them.

“Bea!” Henry said happily and wrapped up his sister in a tight hug, easily bringing her off the ground.

“Hey lovebirds.” Bea said with a laugh and once Henry set her down she gave Alex a hug. “So I had to find out on stage that you two are officially a thing huh?” She whacked Henry. “You could have warned a girl.”

“Sorry.” Henry said sheepishly. “In my defense, I wasn’t sure if we were telling people yet. Plus you already knew about Alex.”

“Well I mean _yes_ but I thought I would have been able to talk to the guy before you two started snogging in front of me.” Bea poked Henry in the arm. He rubbed the spot with a frown. “How are you Alex?”

He laughed. “I’m great. That was an amazing set. You guys sound even better than ACL.”

“Thank you. We’ve been doing the west coast recently. Of course I had to come back and see my baby brother when we were asked to play here.” Bea beamed up at Henry. “You taking good care of him?”

“Bea!” Henry scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Only the best.” Alex smiled fondly at Henry who’s expression softened and he reached out to take Alex’s hand.

“You two do make a great couple.” Bea looked between the two of them and threw her arms around both of them again and squeezed. “I’m going to go make my rounds but I’ll see you in a bit.” 

“Okay, love you.” Henry said easily and kissed her on the cheek before she slipped into the crowd.

“I think I want to trade June for Bea.” Alex sighed.

“I heard that!” June yelled as she walked up and flicked Alex hard on the arm. “You better watch it, I know where you sleep.”

“I was just kidding! Jesus Christ I think you bruised me.” Alex complained.

“Serves you right.” 

Henry just laughed at the both of them. 

They stayed just long enough for Bea to return and they all headed out to check out the other sights and sounds of the events going on. Bea was able to use her connections to get them into the VIP parts of the events where Alex gushed over the different celebrities while Henry just shrugged.

“Okay just because you’re like an Earl or something doesn’t mean this isn’t cool.” Alex frowned.

“I don’t have a title and these people are overrated. Trust me.” Henry scoffed.

“Whatever. You should go bug Ryan Gosling for an autograph. I’ll make it worth your while.” He waggled his eyebrows at Henry who narrowed his eyes at Alex. “In the bedroom of course. For me? Please? Baby?”

“That fucking nickname.” He heard Henry mutter under his breath and Alex snickered as he watched Henry walk over, just as posh as ever.

“He looks good.” Bea said sidling up to Alex.

“Yeah he does.” Alex continued to watch Henry walk. It was quite a show.

“No I mean it. He looks happy.” Bea said and Alex tore his eyes away from Henry’s ass. “You make him happy.” 

He let all pretenses drop and he let himself be in this moment. “You think so?” He looked back at Henry, watching him fondly now as he attempted to converse with the celebrity. 

“I do. He talks of nothing but you. It’s quite annoying actually.” Bea said with a little chuckle. “Good thing I like you too.”

“Well that’s a relief.” Alex laughed. 

“Watch out for him okay?” Bea said softly.

“Always.” Alex said with such conviction that it almost scared him a little. He set his face in a more amused expression when Henry came up and thrust a cocktail napkin in his hand.

“I hope you’re happy because I am mortified. Can we go now?” Henry said quickly and Alex attempted not to smile. 

He looked down at the napkin and then back up at Henry. “You got him to write ‘To Apollo’? Really?”

“That’s the god I associate with you so yes, yes I did.” Henry stuck out his chin as he crossed his arms.

“You are such a dork.” Alex said with a shake of his head and brought Henry’s chin down with his fingers and then down to his lips.

Henry allowed it before pulling back and sliding his hand into Alex’s. “Can we go home now? I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah sure.” Alex said with a nod. 

They said their goodbyes, Bea’s a little longer than the rest. She was off to Dallas and the House of Blues tomorrow with her band. She promised to send pictures and she hugged Alex a little longer than most. They both said unspoken words with their eyes and little nods. 

“That was fun.” Alex murmured against Henry’s chest as he snuggled in close. He hadn’t been back to the fraternity house in what felt like ages, mostly to grab clothes or books. It felt like he was living with Henry at this point.

“Mmm yeah it was.” Henry yawned sleepily. “It was good to see Bea.”

“Yeah she’s so cool.”

“Not was cool as me right?”

Alex was silent for a moment. “Wait, was that a serious question?”

“Alex! Such a traitor.”

“What? You wear khakis for fucks sake. Bea is eons cooler than you.”

“I’m so hurt.”

Alex smiled against Henry’s skin. “You’ll live.”

“Mmm yeah I know.” Henry squeezed him tight before letting go and snuggled against the top of Alex’s head. Alex felt his eyes droop and soon he was fast asleep in Henry’s arms.

It was a buzz that woke him up the next morning. He frowned as he blindly reached for his phone.

**Missed call**: Madre  
**Missed call**: Zahra Her Evilness  
**Missed call**: Buggie

**Buggie**: alex? Alex are you awake? Have you seen this?

Alex clicked on the link.

**@utluver2k17**: oh mygod so i def think this is alex diaz??? Idk who he’s kissing but it’s def a boy

Retweets: 126 Likes: 345

Replies: **@bevorulz**: holy shit that so is alex wtf i thought he was straight???  
**@utluver2k17**: so did i! I guess he’s gay now  
**@towerbells**: the guy’s super hot tho i feel like i’ve seen him around  
**@jalapenospice**: omg that’s so henry fox. He’s in my english 450 class. Fuck i thought he was straight

Alex shut off his phone, not even bothering to read all of the replies, and threw it across the room causing Henry jolted awake.

“Alex?” Henry asked sleepily.

He covered his eyes.

“Alex? What’s wrong?”

He couldn’t even answer. He let Henry wrap his arms around him and he fell into the feeling of comfort.

He heard his phone buzz again.

“They know.” He whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhhhh SHIT not to leave you on a bad note but uhhhh I'm leaving you on a bad note. I mean I gotta add in some more angst right? Major Yike moment tho. Also yes, for those that have been constantly keeping up with the story as it's come out, this one came out a little later than the others. I'm back at work full time and while I have time during the day for the moment before the school year really kicks in, I probably won't be updating as frequently as my manic updates as before. Bear with me, I know where I want this story to go so never fear!! As always let me know what you think!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**South By**: Short for South by Southwest (can also be abbreviated as SXSW). It's a music and film festival that happens every spring (usually during UT's spring break) in downtown Austin. A ton of celebrities come to promote their indie films and bands come to play at all sorts of venues across downtown. Super fun time and it gets CRAY


	12. bless the broken road

Alex looked down at his cracked phone. 

Nothing new.

He gritted his teeth and let his head fall back against the back of the couch where he was waiting for his mom to get out of a meeting. He wished Henry was with him but Henry had class and though Alex had thoroughly detested the idea of going to class, Henry didn’t want to skip.

“Alex?” Zahra called from the doorway of his mom’s office. 

He rose quickly and walked straight in. He was surprised to see Rafael there as well. 

“Well it’s not as bad as you think.” Raf started and he narrowed his eyes. “The pictures are blurry at best and it could all be a misconception if we wanted to play it that way.” 

Alex was silent.

“We can work with the idea that it’s not the two of you in that photo. It hurts us in the fact that it was Henry’s sister’s band, proving that Henry would most likely be there but we don’t have to make it seem like you were the one to kiss him.” Zahra explained and Alex’s eyes narrowed even more.

“So you’re telling me that you want me to throw Henry under the bus and wipe my hands clean of it?” He asked slowly, dangerously.

“That’s an option.” Ellen said slowly. “But that doesn’t mean it’s your only one.”

“Good because I’m not taking that option. I wouldn’t do that to Henry.” He said, tone steely and eyes flashing. 

“Your other option is to ignore it and not say anything. It’s centered on just the UT student twitter circles and it’s unlikely that it would spread to something bigger.” Zahra continued. 

“Okay.” Alex said, nodding to that. He was okay with ignoring it though something inside him was yearning to do otherwise.

“Your final option is to own up to the fact that it was the two of you kissing and that you’re dating.” Zahra finished.

He was silent at that one. 

“Can I think about it?” He asked quietly after a moment. 

“Sure honey.” Ellen nodded. “Take the day, talk to Henry, but if we’re going to do something about this, it needs to be soon.”

He nodded. 

Ellen walked forward and wrapped up Alex in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry this happened to you sweetheart.” She murmured as he hugged her back. They stood for a moment before he pulled away. She gave him a sad smile as she pushed some of his curls back and tucked them behind his ear. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” He said softly. He turned to go and they let him.

He was halfway down the hall when he heard someone call out his name and he stopped to find Rafael chasing after him. “Oh, hey.” He said tiredly.

“Come on, let’s go talk.” Rafael herded him towards his office. He allowed it. He took a seat in his normal chair, bringing his knees up as he wrapped his arms around his legs. 

He watched Rafael silently as he brought out the giant skittles bag that was significantly less full than the last time he had been there. “Hitting the skittles pretty hard?” He asked, attempting to be funny but it sounded hollow, even to him.

“When you have to deal with white homophobic assholes all the time you learn to appreciate the little things.” Raf said with a wry look.

Alex just gave him a twitch of a smile that barely stayed on his face before it dropped. He reached out and grabbed a handful.

Rafael watched him for a moment. “Sometimes it’s hard but honestly, being in the closet can be so stifling.”

Alex’s eyes slowly dragged up to Rafael’s face. He stayed silent.

“When I came out it was similar to you. People had pictures of me with my boyfriend at the time and they were threatening to release them if I didn’t give them money. I couldn’t allow my choices to be dictated for me so instead of paying those bastards off I talked with my boyfriend who was out and we made it public.”

Alex propped his head on top of his knees as he ate a few of the skittles.

“I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s definitely not that, but if you don’t want to hide that part of you I’m saying that it’s easier for your own sanity. You’re not constantly looking over your shoulder all the time, wondering when people are going to figure it out or when they’re going to catch you slipping up.”

Alex sighed and looked back down at his shoes. “It’s just so hard. It makes me so mad that people think they have this authority of that part of my life. Why do they need to know who I’m dating or if I like boys or not?”

“It’s infuriating, I know, but it’s something that you can’t control sometimes. Just know that whatever you decide, I’m here.”

Alex looked back up and let his legs drop down to the floor. “Thanks Raf. I mean it.”

“Of course.” Rafael gave him an encouraging smile. “Talk to Henry tonight. Whatever you decide it should be together.”

Alex nodded and rose from the seat. 

He made it back to Henry’s apartment in a slight daze, his mind whirling, constantly going over his options that were laid out in front of him. He hadn’t gone back to the fraternity house since the tweets came out and he ignored most of the texts from his brothers, only responding to those that were reaching out to support him. He couldn’t handle homophobic assholes at the moment when they came in the form of a fraternity bro. 

Politicians he could handle because he just stared them down and they usually backed off with confused and embarrassed looks. 

Fraternity brothers were an entirely different ball game. They knew him, they were his friends and in the worst cases he was their president. He had power but now he could have easily lost it with this one stupid careless mistake.

Honestly if he truly thought about it, he didn’t think it was a mistake. He could never think about Henry like that. Like a _mistake_. He didn’t regret anything when it came to Henry. Maybe how long it had taken them to finally come together after dancing around each other for so long, but he didn’t regret being with him.

As he climbed the steps to Henry’s apartment he was suddenly overwhelmed with the idea that maybe now that things were out in the open, Henry wouldn’t want him. That because people knew that they had kissed each other in public, Henry would run away again.

He felt the dread set in as he opened the door to the apartment. “Henry?” He called out, knowing that Henry was done with classes for the day. He felt cold anxiety course through him, terrified that Henry would want him to leave.

He made his way through the hallway and into the living room. Henry wasn’t on the couch. He looked into Henry’s bedroom. He wasn’t there either. He briefly glanced into Pez’s room, slightly afraid of what he would find but there was no one in the apartment.

Alex let out a shaky breath and he moved to go sit on the couch, not realizing until it was too late that he was sitting in Henry’s corner. He didn’t get up to move, instead pulling his knees to his chest once more. 

He hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep until the door opened and shut and he was jolted awake. Henry walked into the living room and placed a bag of food on the counter.

“You’re here.” Alex breathed.

“Where else would I be? I do live here.” Henry said with a faint smile.

“I got back and you were gone so I just…”

“No, your hot wings took far too long.” Henry picked up the bag of food and Alex’s eyes widened.

“You got me hot wings?”

“Yes. With fries and ranch too.” Henry’s smile widened as he got down two plates for the both of them and set the food on before moving to the couch. He sat down close enough to Alex so that their shoulders were touching. Alex immediately dug in, only just realizing how hungry he was.

“Thank you.” He said around the food in his mouth. Henry gave him a slight look of disgust. “Shut up.”

They watched The Office for a little bit though Alex’s mind started to wander as he finished his food. He was grateful that Henry hadn’t ran this time. 

“What did your mom say?” Henry asked after they were both finished and he had brought their plates to the sink.

“She gave me three options. One, I throw you under the bus and say that the picture wasn’t me but it clearly showed you. I flat out told them I refused to take that option. Two, we ignore it. Or three, we admit it.” He said quietly.

Henry leaned against the counter for a moment. “What do you tell them?”

“I said I would think about it and ask you. I need to hear your thoughts before I do anything.”

Henry moved to sit next to him on the couch and took Alex’s hand. He watched as Henry grazed his thumb across Alex’s knuckles. 

“What were they saying out there?” He asked Henry before Henry was able to respond to Alex’s first bit. 

“No one said anything to me. I got a few looks in my classes but it was mostly the behind the back whispers that were the worst part of all of this.”

Alex let out a slow, slightly shaky breath. He wasn’t used to people talking behind his back. Usually when he heard something being said about him he faced it head on. He wasn’t one to dance around the problem and this was quickly becoming a problem. 

“Have you talked to your fraternity brothers at all?” Henry asked softly.

“Only the ones I like. The rest were just asking for the drama of it all.” He said with a bitter laugh. “You think sorority girls are bad, just you wait.”

Henry gave him a weak smile and Alex sighed.

“Do you want to just ignore it?” He asked Henry.

“It is pretty small radius of who will actually care. I mean I know you’re the governor’s son but I doubt many people even know that about you.” Henry said as he leaned his head back into the cushions but didn’t take his eyes off Alex.

“No they don’t.” Alex agreed. “What about when my mom runs again?”

“That’s not for two years right?” Henry said and Alex nodded. “Then let’s just ignore it. If we can’t any longer then we can admit the truth but these people don’t need to know our personal life.”

Alex squeezed Henry’s hand but stayed silent. 

“What’s on your mind?” Henry prodded after realizing that Alex hadn’t spoken.

“I dunno...it’s just…” He sighed and let his head flop back and he looked up at the ceiling. “Don’t you want to be able to walk down the street and hold hands? Like don’t you want to be out and not worry if people will find out?” His conversation with Rafael was replaying in his mind.

Henry took his hand back as he stiffened. Alex felt the tension creep into the air. 

He raised his head to look at Henry who didn’t meet his gaze. “Are you afraid?”

Henry took a second to look at Alex. “Maybe.” He whispered. 

Alex shifted closer to him, hands going on Henry’s thighs as he faced his entire body towards Henry. He waited until Henry was ready to speak again.

“I’ve been terrified of people knowing for so long that I’ve pushed it far far down that I don’t even know what it would look like anymore. You’ve only known for a few months, I’ve been dealing with this my entire life Alex. My family isn’t like yours. Most of them would shun me.” Henry said after building up his courage. “I don’t know what they would do if they found out.”

“That’s no way to live.” Alex whispered. He slipped his hand back into Henry’s and squeezed. “You shouldn’t have to lock yourself away like that.”

“But I _have_ to Alex.” Henry stiffened again and stood up. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

Alex felt his face fall and his heart sink. “Then explain it to me.” 

“You don’t know what it’s like to constantly hear slurs about your sexuality. From your own family. I know they would leave me on the curb to save their own skins.” Henry turned away from Alex.

“Does that mean you’re willing to leave me on the curb too?” Alex asked, voice barely over a whisper. 

Henry’s head looked down at the floor and he crossed his arms. He didn’t turn around towards Alex. “You should go.” 

It felt like a knife to his chest. 

“Henry…” He said in an almost pleading tone. 

“No, Alex. You need to go.” Henry turned toward him. “Please. I just...I need some time. Without you.” He added at the end.

Alex rose, feeling a bit like a zombie. “Fine.” He gritted out. “Text me when you get over this shit.” 

Henry said nothing as Alex brushed past him and when Alex reached out searchingly with his fingers, attempting to get one last brush of skin, Henry jerked his body away to avoid the touch. 

That hurt the most.

Words were just words but the fact that Henry’s entire body moved away from him was the worst bit. 

He walked back to the fraternity house, steeling himself for whatever awaited him inside. He walked in and found a few of the brothers downstairs playing video games. They gave him the head nod of greeting. He walked up the stairs and found a few talking in the hallway.

“Hey Alex, what’s up man?” Liam, one of the vice presidents that was in charge of new membership.

“Oh you know.” He said off-handedly as he unlocked his door. They let him disappear into his room and he flopped on his twin bed that was way too small and way too lonely without Henry.

He stared up at the ceiling and realized that the stain on the ceiling that he always thought had looked like Henry wasn’t really Henry at all but more of a blob. 

He fell into a fitful sleep, too sad to even bother with food. 

Alex went into a normal routine that was similar to the routine he had followed without Henry in his life.

He would get up, get dressed, grab a granola bar, head to class, take notes, get lunch, head to the library, walk back to the house, play video games with his brothers, fall asleep.

He avoided sitting next to Henry and in fact sat right up front so he wouldn’t see Henry when he walked in. He asked questions, he typed his notes, he was a good student. 

On the inside he was smashed to smithereens. 

He had texted his mom that he was going to ignore it. He didn’t bother to give a reason why, even when she asked. 

He felt like he was just floating through life.

The only thing that kept him down to earth was the fact that Round Up was coming up. He helped set up the stage and the tent. He laughed and joked with his brothers though they had become different around him, especially the ones that he knew were veering towards the Republican side of things. The ones that he knew had voted for Trump. 

Alex had managed to ignore them, though he didn’t miss their pointed looks when he walked into a room and were surrounded by their friends.

Once Round Up started all of that went out the window. He was here to have a good time and get fucking trashed. He deserved that at least after the incredibly shitty week he had had. 

He pulled on his bright neon tank and partied until dawn came. If the party ended before, he took it to his room with some of his brothers and the sweethearts who were either the brother’s girlfriends or wanted to become a girlfriend. He had a few sidle up beside him but he politely refused their advances. Even drunk him was not ready to move on so quickly. 

It was the second night of Round Up. June and Nora had skipped Friday’s, but had managed to come to this one. They danced happily but he didn’t miss their concerned looks when they saw him take several shots in a row.

“I’m fine!” He yelled at them over the music. Nora put her arms around Alex and they danced with June. He ignored June’s look. 

He let himself fall into the feeling. He wanted to feel good and not worry about what Henry thought or where Henry was or if Henry was missing him or if Henry even loved him at all.

“Fuck.” He whispered to himself and he untangled himself from the girls and stumbled towards the house, whipping the door open. It was thankfully mostly empty, everyone shunned to the patio for these events. He slid down the wall, his head in his hands.

He felt arms come around him.

“Alex, it’s okay.” He heard June’s comforting voice.

“We’re here.” Nora said in a soft voice.

He took in a shuddering breath, eyes squeezing shut. “What the hell do I do?” He whispered. He felt the tears fall after being so numb for so long. He looked up at June and Nora who were crouched down next to him. “I love him so goddamn much and he just keeps shoving me away.”

June and Nora exchanged a look before June looked back at him. “Does he know that you love him?”

“Well...no. Not in words. But you know Henry. He’s a poet. He gets it.” Alex grumbled bitterly, tears still falling down his cheeks. He practically never cried. He was going to chalk it up to the alcohol and call it good, though deep down he knew that he should have been crying long before this. He supposed it just took this long to process the fact that Henry had turned away from him again.

“Maybe you should tell him.” Nora suggested gently. 

“And have my heart be ripped out again when he shoves me out the door? I don’t think so.” He said angrily as brushed away his tears. He got unsteadily to his feet. He didn’t care if it looked like he had just cried. He was sure that most of the people out there were too drunk to even notice. Lord knows he was. “I’m fine.”

“Alex…” June trailed off.

“I said I’m _fine_.” He snapped and pushed open the door. 

He didn’t remember the rest of the night.

The next morning he found himself in his bed, tank still on from last night. He groaned and rolled over. He pushed himself up on his elbow to look out onto the patio to see if anyone was even out there yet. It was nearly 11am and they had one final event before Round Up concluded for the year. He saw a few pledges helping throw away drinks and set up tables and chairs to the crawfish boil. 

He managed to drag himself out of bed and into the bathroom, getting ready. His curls were a wild mess but he didn’t really care that much. He stomped downstairs once he actually looked somewhat decent, a new tank on (still just as neon bright as before) and he made his way outside.

Sunglasses on, he made his rounds, sipping a Corona, not even touching the Bud Light. He stopped and chatted with some girls but they stopped and looked at the entrance, immediately whispering to themselves. He frowned and turned and then stopped cold.

“What the fuck.” He whispered under his breath, grip tightening on his glass. He excused himself which only got the girls whispering even more as he walked over to where Henry was standing awkwardly at the entrance. “What the fuck do you want?” He hissed, pulling Henry out of the line of sight. 

Henry stumbled after him before yanking his shirt out of Alex’s grasp by just being jerked around. He stared at Alex for a long moment.

“Well?” Alex snapped. “If you’re the one that wanted to ignore all of this you’re sure doing a shit job of it.” 

“I’m sorry.” Henry looked down at his feet. 

“You’re sorry for what?” Alex crossed his arms.

“For everything. For making you go. For pushing you away. For being scared.” 

It was Alex’s turn to be silent. 

Henry finally raised his eyes to Alex. “I’m sorry.” He repeated. 

Alex scoffed and turned his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He shook his head. “No.”

Henry’s expression changed to one of confusion.

Alex pointed at him, pushing into his chest with a finger. “No. You don’t get to show up here and say shit like that and expect me to just ignore the fact that you’ve pushed me away three times now. Fucking hell Henry this isn’t a relationship!” Their voices were beginning to become higher than a whisper in a back alley. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” Was all Henry could say at the moment.

Alex roughly pushed his hands through his hair and turned, walking a bit away before turning on his heel and getting up in Henry’s face once more, this time closer than what he had been. “What makes you think that I would even want to take you back?” He hissed.

Henry watched him with those stupid sad puppy dog eyes. “I know.” He repeated. “I just wanted to let you know that I regret it.”

Alex let out his breath slowly through gritted teeth and he stalked away again before turning back yet again. It was like he was a wave and Henry was the sand. “Fuck you. You know that? Fuck _you_ you stupid fucking asshole.” He growled. Henry just stood there. Alex studied Henry for a moment before he reached out frantically and brought Henry’s lips to his own and kissed him harshly. They were in the alleyway between buildings and in the shadows but they could have easily been spotted by someone who was mostly sober. 

Henry’s hands went to Alex’s waist and he pulled Alex flush against him. 

He wasn’t sure how long they kissed but when they broke apart, both of them were breathing hard with flushed cheeks.

“I fucking love you, you stupid fucking asshole.” Alex said intensely, anger still coloring his voice. 

Henry kissed him hard again before Alex pushed him off and pointed a finger in his face.

“If you ever do that to me again I will literally commit murder and my mother will write me a pardon for it.” He hissed and Henry nodded.

“I love you too Alex.” Henry whispered as he pushed his forehead against Alex’s. “So much. That’s why I was scared. Because I knew that once I admitted it I wouldn’t ever be able to leave.” 

“And why would you even want to?” Alex said, much softer this time.

“Call it a moment of insanity.” Henry said with a half smile.

“You fucking idiot.” Alex rolled his eyes as his fingers clutched Henry’s shirt tightly. 

Henry kissed him again but softer. 

“Together?” Alex asked.

“Together.” Henry nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> looool remember when I said I would be less frequent about posting ahahahahha that was a good laugh wasn't it??? Lowkey knocked out most of this current chapter whilst at work god bless google docs (of which I'm currently on page 180 wow major Yikes). I know I know but like it ended better right???? I'M SORRY
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Round Up**: A giant celebration of fratstars where every fraternity and most sororities host parties during the day and at night. It's free for UT students and you have to get a wrist band and errthing. Literally think of what typical a frat star and sorority girl looks like and add in neon and fanny packs and you'll get it. It's literally an entire weekend of insanity god bless.


	13. body like a back road

He knew it was reckless. 

He knew he should have let Henry go after their kiss in the alley but after spending a week apart, hurt and ruined, he wasn’t about to allow Henry to leave again. 

“Come on.” He whispered.

They were still in the alleyway between the fraternity house and the poor sap next door. 

“People will see.” Henry whispered back nervously.

“The people are drunk.” Alex said as he cupped Henry’s jaw. “Besides, I don’t give a shit. Neither should you.”

Henry was silent and frozen for a moment before giving a slow nod. Alex felt a wide smile curl onto his face. 

“Follow me.” He said back to Henry and turned on his heel toward the backgate where people were entering the Round Up party, hopeful for crawfish. He knew that Henry would follow, somehow he knew that instinctually. He led the two of them through the crowds that were getting suitably drunk, either still drunk from the night before and getting drunker, or curing their hangover with more alcohol.

He led the way into the house and up the stairs towards his room. He heard Henry behind him.

Once they were inside Alex turned quickly and slammed Henry up against the door and reached around to lock it behind him. 

Henry gazed down at him with a slightly surprised look on his face that quickly morphed into one of held back lust.

“A part of me wants to torture you in the way you’ve tortured me.” Alex said in a low, dangerous voice. He let his fingers slowly run down Henry’s jaw, his neck, his chest. He stopped them at the waistband of Henry’s jeans. Of course Henry would wear jeans to a Round Up event when Alex was only wearing a neon tank with the bright Greek letters of his fraternity and basketball shorts. He let his eyes rake down Henry’s lean body before gazing back up into his eyes. “What would you do if I didn’t touch you at all?”

“But you are touching me.” Henry said, his voice taking on a hoarse quality.

Alex smirked and quickly moved away, not letting himself lean against Henry’s body any longer. It was a small room and he didn’t have much space to move away but it was enough.

A part of him was questioning why he was torturing himself.

Another part (the louder part) was telling him to make it hurt.

He turned away from Henry, his smirk staying on his face. He didn’t turn around when he heard Henry move behind him, the door squeaking under the sudden loss of his weight. 

“Are you trying to make this harder for yourself?” Henry asked, Alex jumping a little at the sudden sound right by his ear.

He turned finally and hated the way he had to move his head back to see into Henry’s eyes. “Whatever do you mean?” He asked innocently.

Alex let out a gasp when Henry suddenly pushed him and he fell onto the bed. Before he could move Henry’s body was bracketing his, knees making the bed dip from the sudden extra weight. Alex attempted to shimmy back but Henry’s hands took his shoulders roughly. He squirmed locking a foot around one of Henry’s and he grasped the boy’s waist, flipping them so that it was Henry’s turn to let out a sound of surprise. 

“I don’t think so.” Alex warned dangerously. “If anyone’s gonna run this it’s me.” 

He heard Henry suck in a breath. 

Alex was hovering over him, head just far enough out of reach that even when Henry arched up, searching for a kiss he was left without any hope of reprieve. 

His entire body was tight and yearning for Henry’s touch but he needed to drag this out a little more. He wanted Henry to leave this place and never be able to go away from him again.

He leaned down slowly, the tension palpable between them and once he got close enough Henry surged up to press his lips to Alex. He let out a muffled noise at the suddenness of it but he was a weak man so he allowed it. He kissed Henry back, all sloppy with entirely too much teeth. His head moved to Henry’s neck and he bit down harshly at the crook of his shoulder. Henry gasped at that, hips moving up and hands moving to the swell of Alex’s ass. His arms gave out but he didn’t care as he fell on top of Henry. The boy let out a little groan at Alex’s sudden weight against him but he didn’t protest. 

Alex carded his hand through Henry’s hair and he yanked hard, breaking off the kiss as he arched up so he could look Henry in the eyes. Henry’s neck was elongated beautifully and he could see where his bite was red against Henry’s pale flesh. 

They were both breathing hard at this point.

“Fuck me.” Henry broke the silence and Alex felt a jolt course through him. They hadn’t gone this far yet, mostly sticking to mouth and hands. He gave Henry a concerned look. As much as he wanted to torture Henry, he cared too much not to stop and make sure. 

“Really?” He asked.

Henry nodded and dug his fingers into Alex’s ass, rutting up against him. “Please.” Henry pleaded and Alex let out a harsh growl when Henry dragged his hips again. “I’ve been thinking about it all week.”

“Well maybe if you weren’t such an asshole we could have done this sooner.” Alex shot back. He kissed Henry hard, tugging on his hair again before he moved back to sit on his heels, easily breaking Henry’s grip on him.

“I’m sorry.” Henry breathed out, apologizing yet again. Alex felt his face soften and he leaned up to kiss Henry again, this time much softer. He broke it off before he leaned over to the nightstand. He pulled out some lube and an unopened box of condoms. He hadn’t had much chance to use those for a while, not when Henry was in his face. 

He moved down to kneel in between Henry’s legs. Henry shifted up against the pillows so he could watch.

“I’ve never done this before.” Alex whispered, not looking up at Henry.

He felt Henry’s hand against his forearm and he looked up to see the boy giving him an encouraging look. “I’ll let you know if anything doesn’t feel good.” Henry said and Alex nodded. The fire that had fueled him before had died off to a low simmer. He unbuttoned Henry’s jeans and pulled them off. Henry sat up to pull off his shirt and to yank at Alex’s tank. He let the boy pull it over his head. Now Henry was just in his underwear and Alex in his shorts. 

Alex shifted forward on his stomach and mouthed at Henry through his underwear. He heard Henry take a sharp inhale and his fingers stroked through Alex’s curls. He hooked a finger under the elastic and pulled the underwear off. Henry awkwardly kicked on leg out and shook the other leg so they dropped to the bed. 

“I’ve been fingering myself you know. Thinking of you.” Henry’s rough voice floated through the air and Alex gritted his teeth.

“Fucking shit baby.” He muttered as his hand ghosted over Henry’s cock as he kissed the boy’s hipbone. “You can’t say shit like that.”

“But you can?” Henry murmured with a half grin.

“Yes because I’m better than you.” Alex said with a harsh bite against Henry’s inner thigh that left the boy jerking up with a huff. 

“Not fair.” Henry gritted out. He pulled on Alex’s curls lightly in retaliation. 

Alex popped open the half used bottle of lube. The ratio of lube to condoms was a little embarrassing if he allowed himself to think on it but he didn’t so he kept going. He coated a finger in it and circled Henry’s hole, testing the waters. He felt Henry go rigid under him. His eyes looked up at the boy from under his eyelashes. Henry gave him a nod and he slowly pushed in.

Henry let out a slow, stuttering breath at the feeling of Alex inside him while Alex watched in slight awe as his finger slowly disappeared. He felt Henry’s hand tighten in his hair. He looked up again. 

“Okay?” He asked and Henry nodded. Alex could see that the boy’s face and chest were starting to turn pink.

“More.” Henry groaned when Alex moved all the way inside and stopped, letting Henry adjust. He began to move the finger in and out slowly, curling a bit as he went. He let Henry get used to his one finger as he kissed Henry against his thigh. He attempted to find Henry’s prostrate but couldn’t until--

“Fuck!” Henry gasped out, hips arching off the bed and Alex’s face exploded into a sly grin. He did it again and Henry was starting to pant now, the hand that wasn’t in Alex’s hair twisting into his bedsheets. “More, more, more.” Henry chanted and Alex added in another finger, stretching Henry as he went. He found himself getting worked up at just the sight in front of him. Henry had his eyes shut tight, head thrown back, teeth biting his lip hard.

He looked like an angel.

He looked like his future.

Alex slowly added a third finger, working Henry slowly until Henry grasped his forearm. “Alex please.” Henry pleaded.

“Please what?” Alex asked, a crook of a smile that he was sure he couldn’t hold on his face forever because he knew what Henry wanted and he wanted it just as badly.

“Please fuck me.” Henry moaned, pleading again and Alex let out a slow breath. How could he say no?

He shifted back up on his knees and slipped his fingers out. Henry reached down to yank on his shorts and Alex allowed it. His cock sprang free and he sucked in a breath when Henry ghosted his fingers over it. Henry took one of the condoms and rolled it onto Alex. He watched it with hooded eyes before they flicked up to Henry. He leaned forward and kissed Henry hard, falling into the feeling for a moment before he had to pull himself back.

Alex situated himself in between Henry’s legs once more, grasping his thigh with one hand while lubing up his cock with the other. He rubbed it against Henry’s entrance. “Ready?” He asked softly and Henry nodded, biting his lip. He nodded back and slowly pushed into Henry. 

He let out a shuddering breath at the white hot feeling of it, moving slowly until he bottomed out inside Henry.

Henry’s eyes shut closed tightly.

“Okay?” He asked, rubbing his thumbs into Henry’s thigh. 

Henry let out a shaky breath as his eyes slowly open and Alex felt his heart thud a little harder at the intense blue of them. He’ll never get used to Henry looking at him with those eyes. 

“You can move.” Henry gave him the go ahead and Alex followed instantly. He pulled his hips back, dragging along Henry who whimpered a bit. Alex himself gritted his teeth at the friction. Henry was like a vise around him.

“Fuck you feel good.” He breathed out. 

Henry’s hands went to wrap tightly around Alex’s biceps when Alex shifted Henry closer to him, hitching the boy’s thighs against his hips. Henry wrapped his legs around him. He couldn’t take it anymore and began to set a faster pace. He knew he was probably bruising Henry’s hips from how tight he was holding him.

The sounds Henry made were more than enough to get Alex more heated than ever. He could feel the sweat start to form across his skin as he attempted to angle himself at just the right position to make Henry yell his name.

Henry let out a shocked yell when he finally found that spot. “Oh god more. Please I need more.” He begged, hands grappling all over Alex’s body. 

“Do you want to come while I’m inside you?” He asked in a gravelly voice, eyes flashing. “Do you want to come with my name on your lips?”

Henry let out a loud whine, head thrown back. God he looked beautiful like this, all strung out and not caring how desperate he looked. Alex winced a little as he felt Henry’s blunt nails digging into his skin. He leaned forward and trapped Henry’s lips with his own. Henry kissed back sloppily, mouth going slack every now and then when Alex thrusted particularly hard inside him.

“Alex please-” Henry choked. 

Alex leaned back and began to hit Henry in the spot that made him make those beautiful noises every time. He could feel Henry flutter around him and he knew the boy was close. He was close himself, hips starting to jerk out of sync.

He wrapped his hand around Henry’s cock and he pumped a few times before Henry arched up and let out a groan that sounded like his name and Alex felt Henry tighten around him.

He let out his own grunt at the feeling, thrusting a few more times before he stiffened against Henry with a gasp followed by a moan, eyes shutting. He fell forward, only just catching himself by his hands going out against the bed so that he didn’t completely crush Henry. He lowered himself slowly, not caring if he got messy. 

The two of them came back to each other after a moment, chests heaving and hearts pounding.

Alex let himself lay there for a moment before he slipped out of Henry and shucked the condom. He flopped down next to the boy and slung an arm across Henry’s chest.

“Well?” He asked after a moment. He arched his neck back so he could attempt to see Henry who hummed before shifting his own head down to look at Alex. “Suitable?” 

Henry let out a laugh and covered his eyes with his arm. “You’re insufferable.” 

“Says the boy who just orgasmed with my name on his lips.” He grinned and Henry peeked out from behind his arm and couldn’t stop the grin. Alex scooted up so he could kiss Henry softly before snuggling against his shoulder. He hugged Henry tight before relaxing. 

“Top ten I’d say.” Henry murmured and Alex narrowed his eyes. “What?” Henry shrugged a little. “I’d say that’s good for your first time being with a man.” 

Alex pursed his lips and put his head back on Henry’s hot shoulder. “Whatever, you know you loved it.” 

“Yeah I did.” Henry agreed.

They laid there for a while, Alex was pretty sure he had fallen asleep at one point. He didn’t care that the Round Up event was going on anymore. This was all he cared about. 

“So what are we?” He asked hesitantly, a couple of hours later after he had woken up.

Henry was quiet for a moment. “What do you want us to be?”

“It’s not really up to me is it?” He said, eyebrow raising. He knew that he wanted to be with Henry but it was up to Henry at this point to decide if that was going to be allowed.

Henry kissed the top of Alex’s head. “I want to be your boyfriend. Is that alright?”

Alex beamed but then his face faltered for a moment. “What does that mean to you though? Does that mean we’re out and I can kiss you in public? Or are we going to only be together behind the scenes?”

Henry sighed. “This last week has been awful without you. I thought I could manage without you because honestly I was terrified that something would get back to my parents and they would find out about me being gay but this time away has made me realize that I don’t care if they know. All I know is that I want to be with you and I want to finally let myself be happy.” Henry looked away.

Alex reached up and put his fingers under Henry’s chin, turning the boy’s head towards his. He kissed Henry softly, reverently. Henry kissed him back. Alex broke the kiss. “I don’t care what it looks like, I just know that I don’t think I could survive without you.”

“Now who’s the poet?” Henry joked and Alex slapped him lightly on the chest. Henry looked at him so softly Alex was pretty sure he was going to burst into flames. 

“I’m serious. You’ve completely turned my world upside down and I would honestly hate you for it if I didn’t love you so much you fucking idiot.” 

Henry gave him a smile. “I love you too.” 

They kissed for a while longer until Alex felt his eyes droop so much that he knew he wasn’t going to keep them awake for much longer.

Henry shifted them so that Henry was against the pillows and Alex had his head against Henry’s chest. 

They both fell asleep like that, wrapped up in each other and not caring what anyone thought when it came to living their lives.

Dear Achilles,

The world tells me that you aren’t the right one. That you are meant for more than me. I know the world is wrong. 

We are meant for each other.

Please don’t go where I cannot follow.

Love,  
Patroclus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES?? A bit shorter chapter but honestly I've gifted you with a lot in this one. You're welcome. Finally Henry isn't being a fucking idiot and Alex is stupidly grateful (but don't tell Henry that). Let me know what you think!! I literally had to take several breathers and go do something else whilst writing this chapter like whew okay. I needed to validate that explicit rating okay???
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


	14. why don't we just dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: some homophobic slurs

It was like the week apart had never happened. 

Alex went back to spending most of his time at Henry’s apartment, curled up in his bed that smelled just like Henry but was also starting to smell like himself. 

He went back to sitting next to Henry during their shared mythology class, sometimes passing love letters back and forth when they didn’t really want to pay attention. He kept them all in the folder for the class.

Sometimes he would bring it out of his backpack when he was missing Henry a little. 

He ran his fingers along the dried ink in Henry’s incredibly extra handwriting.

Dear Prometheus,

We were lost without you and now we can see. Your sacrifice will not be in vain.

Love,  
The People

He sighed, mouth quirking into a little half smile as he smoothed the edges before folding it up and putting it away once more. 

Figures he would fall for such a romantic sap. 

Figures he would _become_ such a romantic sap.

He blamed the mythology class. Greeks were such suckers for powerful couples and tragic stories.

He was determined to one of the former.

“So you guys are good?” June asked as they sat outside for one of their usual coffee dates. The semester was starting to pick up after spring break and he hadn’t seen June in what felt like eons but was more likely just a few days. 

“Yeah we’re good. I threatened to castrate him if he attempted to pull some bullshit without any notice like that again.” Alex smirked around the Starbucks lid.

“Because that sounds so healthy.” June rolled her eyes and Alex pursed his lips.

“You know I wouldn’t but I told him that we needed to be more open and honest about how we were feeling. I deserve that much.” Alex leaned back in his chair. “How are you?”

“About the same. Ready to scream but definitely ready for graduation. Did I tell you I applied to the Star Telegram?” 

“What about the Texas Tribune? Do you not want to live in Austin anymore?” Alex frowned, taking another sip.

“Oh I do but Star Telegram answered first.” June’s mouth quirked into a sly smile.

“Oh my god are you kidding?” He leaned over and whacked June on the shoulder.

“Ouch!”

“Shut up that didn’t hurt. Why didn’t you let me know sooner you idiot?” Alex was beaming.

“I didn’t want to get my hopes up. They want to put me in lifestyle. I mean it’s not my favorite but I’ll be schmoozing with the rich of Fort Worth and Dallas for free so like it’s fine. I can move to investigative journalism after a few years.”

“June that’s fucking amazing. I’m so proud of you.” Alex stood up and wrapped his sister up in a hug before sitting back down. “I mean I’m going to miss you being here in Austin but Fort Worth is only three hours away.”

“Thanks.” June blushed a little. “Nora got a job as a data analyst for the Cowboys so we’re going to move in together.” 

“Holy fucking shit look at you two. Fuck I’m gonna be so lame when I graduate.” Alex sighed dramatically.

“Shut up, you’re gonna be mayor of some town and be like Ben Wyatt.”

“Without Ice Town.” Alex pointed at her before they both dissolved into laughter. Alex smiled faintly as he realized that this part of his life was quickly coming to a close and he didn’t want it to end. He still had another year left at UT but after that he had no idea what he wanted to do. June and Nora were off about to start their adventure and he still had Henry and Pez around him but he knew he would be sad without his sister by his side like she had always been.

He and June talked about where they were looking to live and Alex felt himself getting excited for her.

“You’re gonna be kickass June.” He smiled proudly at her.

“I will always take your 2 am calls, don’t worry. I already know how your little mind works.” She poked him in the arm. 

“You do know me well.” He said with a little huff of laughter. 

When he found himself back at Henry’s place he found Henry on his bed surrounded by books. He was cross legged and typing away furiously with his cute little glasses on. Alex flopped on the bed and wrapped his arms around Henry’s waist.

“What’s the matter?” Henry asked, hands going up in surprise before one landed back in Alex’s curls.

“I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.” He groaned. He buried his face in Henry’s hip.

“I’m pretty sure no one knows what they’re doing with their life.” Henry said and Alex twisted his body to the side so that he could still hold himself against Henry’s hip but he could also look up into those blue eyes.

“June does. Nora does. I’m sure you and Pez do. Me? I have no fucking clue.” He hid his face again. 

He felt Henry’s fingers tip his chin back and he saw a softened expression on Henry’s face. “I don’t know what I’m doing either. I’m probably going to be a perpetual student for the rest of my life to avoid being an actual adult.”

Alex sighed. “Maybe we can just go to a deserted island and never have to worry about fitting into society and make _money_.”

Henry frowned. “Alex, what’s the matter?”

He looked away from Henry and was silent.

“Alex.” Henry put his laptop aside and pulled Alex up so that he was leaning against Henry who had his arms wrapped around him.

“Do you ever feel like you’ve made so many mistakes in your life that you can’t even come close to fixing them?” He whispered.

Henry nodded. “I’m a gay English noble who refuses to come out to their family. I think I know that feeling all too well.”

Alex’s lips became a tight line. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry. Tell me what I can do.”

Alex sighed again. “I feel like my life needs to be made right this second so I can actually get some goddamn sleep without waking up in the middle of the night and wondering if that one choice I made in the third grade was the thing that set myself on this course.”

Henry hugged him tightly and kissed the top of his head. “Whatever choices you’ve made you can’t undo them now. All you can do is make choices that allow you to be happy.” 

Alex hid his face in Henry’s chest, inhaling deeply at the comforting smell. “Stupid poet.”

He felt rather than heard Henry chuckle. 

“I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Henry murmured against the top of his head.

“Thank you.” Alex breathed and he felt himself slowly relax into Henry. They sat there for a while until Henry shifted.

“I don’t want to spoil the mood but I really do need to get this essay done.” Henry said awkwardly and Alex looked up.

“Oh right, sorry.” He shifted back and made a move like he was getting off the bed. He stopped when he felt Henry grab his arm.

“You don’t have to leave. Why don’t you sleep, you look like you could use it.”

“Gee thanks.” Alex rolled his eyes but followed Henry’s suggestion all the same. He got under the covers and laid his head on the pillows. He watched Henry type for a while before his eyes got heavy and he finally allowed himself to close them. 

When he woke up he found that it was dark outside but Henry was still typing away madly. Alex reached out a hand and wrapped it around the closest forearm. Henry paused to look at him and gave him a soft smile. 

“You talk in your sleep you know that?”

Alex hummed sleepily. “So I’ve been told. Did it completely ruin my perception of being a badass?”

Henry snorted. “I don’t think you’ve ever had that perception.”

Alex scoffed but didn’t try to fight it. He felt the clutches of sleep claw at him again. “Come and sleep.” He murmured.

“I can’t. I’m almost done.” Henry shook his head, going back to his screen.

“When is it due?”

“Not till next week but I want to edit it before I turn it in.”

“Henry.” Alex said, a command more than anything. Henry turned back. “Sleep.”

Henry paused before sighing and nodded. Alex watched with barely open eyes as Henry moved the papers and books off the bed along with his laptop. He instantly curled his arm around Henry, bringing him flush to his chest when Henry finally got under the blankets. He wormed his way into the crook of the boy’s shoulder and sighed contently.

This was how he wanted to fall asleep each night.

And so he did.

“How am I going to survive without you for an entire summer?” Henry asked as he played with Alex’s curls. They were facing each other, Alex’s legs tangled up in Henry’s. 

“Who says you have to stay away an entire summer? My family has my childhood home and the lakehouse. We can stay in one of those. My mom and stepdad will be living in the Governor’s mansion anyways.” 

“My family will wonder why I’m staying away from them.”

“Will they though?” Alex asked softly. 

This entire moment felt soft. Almost delicate. He was asking Henry to stay with him. To live with him.

“No I suppose not.” Henry murmured absentmindedly. “I wouldn’t mind seeing my dad and Bea again.”

Alex hummed and kissed Henry’s shoulder softly. “Go for a couple of weeks but the rest will be mine. I should have warned you I’m possessive.” 

“I knew that from the moment I saw you.” Henry ran his thumb along Alex’s jaw and across his lips without much force. 

“Can you blame me?”

“No, never.”

They fell into an easy rhythm of soft, languid kisses with lingering touches and soft breaths against skin. It was simple and not too hard. Alex didn’t want hard right now. He had dealt with far too much of it. 

He heard his name linger on Henry’s lips as he pushed into him with searching fingers. He felt Henry open up around him. He listened to shuddering breaths and brushed against heated skin.

This was a moment in time that was just about them. 

“I love you.” He said without words in the ways he touched Henry, in the ways he made sure that Henry truly felt the power behind them.

He watched as Henry fell apart under him, blue eyes blown wide with lust and love and everything in between. 

When he came down he found himself pressed close against Henry, not wanting any body part to not feel Henry’s presence against him.

“You’re going to make me never want to leave this bed.” Henry whispered, eyes shut as his breathing slowed.

“Who says we have to?” A mirror of what Alex had said before, a test to see if Henry believed the words.

“Society.” Henry groaned. He pulled Alex closer and kissed him softly. “But I’m not leaving just yet.”

Eventually they crawled out of their nest they had made for each other, going about their day until they could finally be rejoined in the afternoon.

“We should go out. I want to dance with my boyfriend.” Alex grinned against Henry’s neck as he kissed it lightly. He was straddled across the boy in Henry’s corner of the couch. He felt a thrill every time he called Henry his boyfriend. 

“You know I can’t dance.” Henry frowned.

“Hence why I want to dance with you.” Alex grinned and Henry rolled his eyes.

“You’ll just laugh at me.”

Alex took Henry’s head in his hands. “No I won’t. Besides, I'll be the one grinding in you. All you have to do is just put your hands on my hips and move with me.” Henry let out a whoosh of air at Alex’s words and Alex’s smile widened. “See, I’d knew you enjoy that.”

“Shut up.” Henry said, face blushing. Alex grinned and kissed Henry hard, fingers going through his hair. When they finally broke apart once more Henry let out a sigh. “You’re insufferable when you kiss like that.”

Alex beamed. “So I take it that that’s a yes?”

“Fine.” Henry sighed again and Alex immediately went back to kissing him.

They decided to go to 6th Street with June, Nora, and Pez. They had been planning on going anyways and just tagged along with the rest of the group. 

Alex slipped his hand into Henry’s with a smile as they walked down the middle of the street with hundreds of other people. Henry looked down at their joined hands and Alex leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“This okay?” He asked in Henry’s ear. The sounds on the street were loud from all the pumping bass and shrieking girls.

“Yeah.” Henry said back with a soft smile and Alex’s own smile widened. He leaned into Henry for a moment before dragging him towards the nearest bar.

“Let’s get drunk!” He said happily and Henry laughed, letting himself be pulled along. They got a drink at the bar to hold while dancing. After a round of shots of course, even if they had pregamed at Henry and Pez’s apartment. Nora pulled June on the dance floor and Pez followed obediently. Alex watched Henry sip his drink nervously. He sidled up the boy and put his arm around Henry’s waist. “You need another shot of liquid courage?” He asked, leaning up to yell into Henry’s ear. 

Henry shook his head and instead pulled Alex onto the dancefloor. Alex felt a thrill go through him as they danced face to face for a while. Alex put his hands on Henry’s hips, having already finished his drink, and moved them along with his own so Henry could feel the rhythm. 

“You know for a piano player you really don’t have the best timing do you?” Alex teased and Henry gave him a pout.

“It’s not like classical music is anything close to this. I think I’m doing okay for myself, right?”

Alex came closer until he was slowly grinding against Henry, their chests nearly flush together. “You look really fucking hot right now.” 

In the dim light of the bar he could barely see Henry’s eyes grow a little darker with lust but when Henry’s hand moved lower along his back to rest on Alex’s ass he knew that he had definitely gotten through to him.

He turned around in Henry’s arms and began grinding his ass against Henry’s crotch like the tease that he was. He felt Henry’s hands move to his waist. His arm went up to wrap around Henry’s neck harshly. He leaned back a little into the taller boy. They danced like this for a while, Henry’s mouth coming to Alex’s neck a few times. 

Eventually Alex twisted back to face Henry. “Want another drink?” He asked and Henry nodded, a little breathlessly. 

He led his boyfriend to the bar. “See? Dancing can be fun.” He said with a little poke at Henry’s arm. 

“I’m not sure I would call that dancing. It was more like having sex with our clothes still on and in public.” Henry’s eyes twinkled a little and Alex laughed. He leaned in for a quick kiss and he heard someone make a scoff behind him.

Alex frowned and turned to face whoever had made the noise. “You got a problem?” He asked, seeing an older man with his friends. They looked to be a few years older than himself. 

The man straightened. “I just don’t like seeing fags while I’m trying to enjoy my drink.” 

Alex’s eyes narrowed. He felt Henry’s hand tighten around his shoulder. “Alex, don’t.”

Alex gritted his teeth. He wasn’t one to fight, he really wasn’t, but he was drunk and he was in love and this man was telling him that he didn’t deserve to show it in public. He had every right to, just like if he was with a girl instead.

“Hey fucker, back the fuck off alright? We don’t need your homophobic slurs here aight?” He practically spit at the man. 

The man took a step towards Alex and Alex looked up into his eyes defiantly. It was clear that the man was bigger and more buff than he was but he wasn’t about to take this sitting down. 

“What did you say to me?”

“You heard me. Fuck off.” Alex growled.

“Alex, please.” Henry begged.

“Listen to your girlfriend.” The man gave a little nod towards Henry. “He’s got the right idea.”

Alex’s hand curled into a fist and he lashed out, punching the man square in the jaw. He felt a jolt of white hot pain but he didn’t give a shit. The man jerked back, stunned for a moment before his face twisted into an evil sort of look that only people who truly hated themselves could make. His friends jumped up as well and Alex could see the bouncers start to make their way over as well. The man swung at him and Alex was able to dodge the first one but the man pushed him into Henry and he surged forward, punching the man again. Alex was quickly overtaken though, as he was slammed up into the bar by the man’s friends. It took the bouncers time to get the men off of Alex but it was too late for Alex to avoid getting punched a few times.

He gasped a little as one of the bouncers grabbed him roughly and dragged them all out the door. He staggered as he was shoved into the street. 

“Alex!” Henry called out, pushing his way through the crowd that had formed. “Alex are you alright?” He felt Henry’s hands curl around his arm and he brushed him off. 

“I’m fine.” He said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and found that there was blood. He spat it out before straightening. 

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Henry said quietly, his fingers reaching out for Alex once more.

“Well someone had to. Those fuckers were being complete assholes.” He muttered. “You weren’t going to do anything.”

Henry flinched a little. “I didn’t need to do anything. There’s guys like that all over the world. Fighting every single one is just going to get you hurt or worse.” 

Alex was silent. He felt the fury singing underneath his skin and he was itching to do something. “I’m walking home.” He said and turned towards the capitol. 

“Alex!” June called out and he didn’t turn towards her until he felt his hand on his shoulder. He brushed her off too. She took a step back. “Are you alright?”

“‘M fine.” He muttered. He could already feel where his face was starting to bruise and his split lip was starting to throb. 

“I’m walking him home.” Henry interrupted and June nodded, letting them go. Alex didn’t particularly want Henry to walk him home but he supposed he would allow it. It wasn’t like he could say no to the boy anymore. 

They walked silently except for their footsteps against the concrete. This part of the city was asleep. He looked up as they walked around the capitol and he sighed to himself. He wondered if he would ever be allowed to be himself in there. He knew Rafael was one of the few openly gay state senators, if the only, but it was more than difficult for him to get anywhere with policies that he wanted to spearhead. 

This would be his new reality he realized. Dealing with intolerant people who didn’t give a shit about him, who only saw him for his sexuality. 

Was it worth it?

He suddenly felt intense guilt course through him. He looked at Henry who was still silent beside him. He had the privilege of turning away from this and being with a woman if he chose. Henry didn’t have that luxury. Henry couldn’t appease society because that’s not who he was or who he would ever be.

Alex stopped walking as they were in front of the mall in front of the Tower. He took Henry’s hand as the boy stopped beside him. 

“I’m sorry.” He murmured.

Henry’s face softened. “I know.”

Alex looked up slowly and Henry reached out to lightly stroke his cheek with his thumb. 

“I know you want to try and save the world from arseholes but you can’t. It’s valiant, but I don’t want you getting hurt just because one guy said one slur. It’s not worth it, believe me.” Henry said softly, pushing back a few of Alex’s curls and brought him in for a tight hug. “I’ve been dealing with this my entire life and yes it gets hard sometimes and yes I want to scream and yell but I’ve realized that by just being myself I’m already fighting back. They can call me names or attempt to dissuade me from being who I am, but it won’t change me.”

Henry leaned back and kissed the top of Alex’s head and he sighed a little, eyes closing for a moment. “I think you’re very brave.” He whispered. He looked up at Henry. “I don’t care that you were hiding for a while, there’s bravery in that too.”

Henry gave him a sad smile. “I don’t want to hide anymore. I’ve decided that I’m going to tell my family when I go home for the summer. If they don’t accept me well...I suppose that’s up to them but I don’t want to shut off a part of myself for their comfort.”

Alex gave him a faint smile, wincing a little when his lip pulled. Henry laughed a little.

“Come on, let’s go clean you up.” 

They walked hand in hand back to Henry’s apartment. Henry had him sit on the bathroom counter as he took a warm washcloth and wiped off the dried blood. Alex watched him as Henry focused intently on the task.

“You’re incredible you know that?” He murmured.

Henry’s blue eyes locked with his with a laugh. “Why? Because I’m cleaning up my stupidly insane boyfriend?”

Alex wrapped his arms around Henry’s waist loosely. “Because you’re selfless and smart and entirely too good looking and you allow me to love you.” 

Henry’s smile faded to one of love. “And you’re stupid and reckless and driven and powerful and you allow me to love you too.” Alex laughed before wincing at the pain in his lip. Henry whacked him lightly on the arm. “Now stop that. You’re a terrible patient.” 

“Yes doctor.” Alex said with a little nod. 

Henry got him an ice pack for his cheekbone and got him warm clothes and wrapped him up in a little blanket burrito and put him to bed. Alex watched as Henry got himself ready for bed and he sighed to himself contently. 

He may have to deal with homophobic assholes but if this was what he was getting out of it all, it was more than worth it. 

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Subject: 

Dear Andromeda,

You are worth everything. You are worth fighting against the sea. 

Love,  
Perseus

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Re: 

Dear Leander,

I will always keep my candle lit. Please never turn away from it.

Love,  
Hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* these fucking idiots I love them so much. Who knew Alex was going to be such a fucking sap am I right???? So I anticipate 2, maybe 3 more chapters to this fic so we're in the endgame now people. Let me know what you think!!!! I'm seriously thirsting for some good good comments like seriously tho like comments make this entire thing worth it even if it's just emojis. I love u all god bless
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Star Telegram**: major newspaper for Fort Worth and Dallas. My parents may or may not have a subscription for it looool  
**Texas Tribune**: another newspaper stationed in Austin


	15. loving you easy

As the semester began winding down, Alex began winding up. 

He felt the urgency over him like a cloud and it seemed to follow him wherever he went. The urgency for what, he wasn’t sure. He refused to stop moving to allow himself to figure it out. 

He spent most nights at Henry’s place. It felt so domestic and he had to admit to himself that he loved it. He loved waking up next to Henry every morning and falling into bed with him every night. It felt right to him like nothing else had before. 

Henry made him feel calm, like only the boy’s hands could weather the storm that was raging inside him.

“Slow down.” Henry whispered to him when he wrapped his arms around Alex who had been typing for he didn’t even know how long. “It’s not going anywhere.”

“No but I need to--” He started but the rest of his reply was muffled by Henry’s lips capturing Alex’s and he melted into them. When Henry broke off the kiss slowly Alex opened his eyes. “I need to finish this.” He completed the sentence that had been stolen from him.

“Not tonight.” Henry said, reaching out to take Alex’s laptop off of his lap and replaced it with his body. Alex looked up as Henry ran his fingers through Alex’s curls that were particularly crazy from him constantly messing with them absentmindedly as he was attempting to finish a project.

Henry took off Alex’s glasses that he refused to wear around anyone but Henry. He sighed to himself as he leaned back and his hands went around Henry’s waist. 

“I’m just stressed.” He said, tilting his head up when Henry pushed a finger under his jaw. He hummed against Henry’s lips when the boy kissed him again. 

“I know, believe me, I get it.” Henry said softly, his eyes going to where he was wrapping a finger around one of Alex’s curls. “Anything particularly stressing you out?” His blue eyes went back to Alex’s.

“I can’t even be sure.” Alex muttered.

Henry’s mouth twitched into a slight frown. 

“I think I’m just trying to push everything into these final projects and studying for finals so I don’t have to deal with anything else.” Alex continued.

“Like what?” Henry asked softly.

“Like you leaving me, like June packing up and leaving Austin, like me being alone. You know I don’t do alone well.” 

Henry let out a soft laugh and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll only be gone for two weeks. Even less time than over Christmas break.” 

“Yeah but I won’t be there to help you.” Alex sighed, unsaid words between them.

“We have email, we have our phones. You won’t be alone.” Henry gave him a faint smile. 

“I know but…”

“But what?” Henry pressed.

“If things don’t go well I won’t be there to hold you and kiss you and tell you that even if your family sucks you’re still amazing.” Alex said and Henry let out a little choked sound. He hugged Henry tight, his head again Henry’s warm chest. “I don’t want you to go through that without me.” 

“Alex...I know I won’t be by myself.” Henry said from the top of his head. His arms had wrapped around Alex’s neck to pull him in. “Not when I have you. Is that what’s been worrying you so much?” 

Alex was silent before slowly nodding his head. “I just hate it.”

“I know.” Henry repeated.

They stayed there for a long while until Henry slowly got off. “You want to go get some food?”

Alex chuckled to himself but nodded. 

He hadn’t realized just how much he was thinking about Henry leaving him and being left all alone in England. He knew that Henry would have his dad and Bea, but Alex hated the fact that he would be a thousand miles away and several time zones apart instead of there in person. He only admitted to himself in the dead of night that he was terrified that something would go terribly wrong and it would be the last time he saw Henry. 

The semester was winding down but for the first time, Alex didn’t want it to end. 

He felt like he hadn’t had enough time with Henry though they had been together for a while. Practically every second of the day that they weren’t in class. 

So he was being needy, everyone did that right?

It was now dead week and Alex was going a little insane with the amount of studying he was forcing himself to do. He had turned in all of his final papers and projects and all that was left were the finals.

“Henry?” He whispered. Henry didn’t look up from his notebook across the table from him in the library. Both of their stuff was spread out to cover the entire surface and they had gotten more than their fair share of annoyed looks. He didn’t care though.

“Henry?” He asked again and Henry gave him a noise of acknowledgement. “I’m bored.” 

“You said that 20 minutes ago.” Henry said quietly.

“Yeah and I’m still bored.” 

“Go walk around for a bit or something, I’m trying to finish going through these notes.” Henry said distractly. Alex pouted and let out a loud sigh, slumping down in his chair as he crossed his arms. He knew he was acting like a child but he could care less.

He watched Henry for a little bit before his eyes fell on his international relations class notes before his eyes glazed over and he moved his attention back to Henry. He gave a sly grin and slipped out of his Nikes and scooted his chair closer so that he was flush up against the table. He reached out with his foot and slowly slid it up Henry’s leg, not stopping until he was caressing the inside of Henry’s thigh. He watched the boy for a reaction but all he got was Henry’s knuckles tightening around his pen but he didn’t stop Alex.

Alex’s grin turned wider as he continued his journey until he was right at the point where Henry’s leg met his hip when Henry snatched his foot and pushed it back towards Alex.

“Rude.” Alex huffed out as his body was jolted back into the chair from the sudden movement.

Henry’s eyes finally landed on him and he saw the spark in them. “You’re being very distracting.”

“Oh am I?” He cooed as he leaned across the table until their faces were close enough together that Henry could easily surge forward and kiss Alex.

“Yes.” Henry said firmly, moving just a bit closer to Alex but not kissing him. They were a breath apart at this point. “You are.” He continued, silent and unmoving for a moment until he sat back into his chair and looked back at his book.

Alex frowned and sat back in his chair too. He stayed there for a moment before rolling his eyes. “Well I’m done for the day. I can’t do anything else.”

“See you at home then.” Henry said off-handedly and Alex pursed his lips.

“Maybe I’ll spend the night at the frat house.” He said lightly as he began to gather up his things.

“No you won’t.” Henry said, still not looking up from his notes.

Alex paused. “What makes you think that?”

Henry’s eyes flicked up from under his eyelashes and a small smile played at his lips. “Because you’re weak.” 

Alex scoffed. He stood and zipped up his backpack. “I’ll show you.”

“See you tonight.” Henry said, giving him a little wave and Alex curled his lip and flipped him off before pivoting on one foot and stalked away.

He could stay away from Henry. It wasn’t that hard. 

Alex walked back to the fraternity house, music blaring through his earbuds but he didn’t hear any of it. 

He chatted with his fraternity brothers and played a few rounds of Super Smash Bros with them but he didn’t really pay attention.

He attempted to go to bed early, thinking that he could get up early to start studying again, but he couldn’t go to sleep.

“Motherfucker.” He muttered under his breath and yanked himself out of bed and threw on some shorts and a t-shirt and grumbled to himself angrily the entire time it took to walk to Henry’s apartment.

He got buzzed in the moment he rang Henry’s number.

“Fuck you.” He said when he saw Henry sitting on the couch looking as innocent as ever. “I don’t want to hear it.”

Henry threw up his hands and said nothing. 

“Pez gone?” He asked but he could guess the answer as he quickly went to straddle Henry. Henry shifted his legs easily to make it more comfortable for Alex.

He didn’t wait to hear Henry’s answer when he kissed the boy hard, fingers yanking on Henry’s hair. Henry let out a muffled yelp at the feeling. He quickly deepened the kiss as he slowly grinded into the boy’s lap. He felt Henry’s hands wrap around him, pulling him closer. 

“You think you’re so smart don’t you?” Alex growled after he pulled Henry’s lip between his teeth, forcing the boy to come with him as he broke the kiss. 

“Well I was right, wasn’t I?” Henry said with a little shrug.

“Only because the house is loud and your bed is soft.” Alex shot back and Henry smiled. Alex kissed that smile off the boy’s lips as he pushed a hand between them, fingers digging under pajama pants and being pleasantly surprised to not find underwear pausing his journey. He wrapped a hand around Henry’s stiffening cock and he gave a few pumps. He heard the muffled gasp against his lips. That made him smile.

Alex’s smile quickly faded when he was suddenly being lifted from the couch as Henry slapped his hand away and he scrambled against Henry’s shoulders. “What the fuck?” He let out in surprise and he felt a rumble of a laugh against his chest. “Stupid arms. Stupid height.” He grumbled but then he was deposited on the bed without much gentleness and he sucked in a breath at the suddenness of it. 

Henry was quickly on top of him, slotting their hips together. Alex let out a sound of approval. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this all day. You look hot when you’re concentrating hard it’s infuriating.” Henry said hotly into his ear as he pushed a hand under Alex’s shirt, lightly scratching across his skin.

“Why didn’t you do something about it then?” Alex gasped out, arching up into the feeling.

“Because you’re so much better when you’re this needy.” Henry chuckled darkly and Alex narrowed his eyes but he couldn’t stay mad for long because Henry was starting to move down his front and he pulled off Alex’s shorts and underwear and without much preamble he wrapped his mouth around Alex’s hard cock and it took everything in Alex to not jerk up. 

“Fuck.” Alex breathed out, hands twisting into Henry’s sheets. He could already feel his breathing pick up. He had been horny practically all day and now he was finally able to let go. 

Henry began to make quick work of settling into a rhythm and he could hear as if from a distance all the sounds he was making. Henry of course was looking like a shining beacon, gazing up at him from under his eyelashes. He looked so good that Alex had to sling an arm over his face.

“Henry if you don’t stop I’m gonna come.” He said in a shuddering voice. Henry came off with a pop and crawled up Alex’s body to kiss him. Alex kissed him back, too weak to push the boy away. He wasn’t too keen on tasting himself but for Henry he was more than willing to allow it.

“I was fingering myself while I waited for you.” Henry murmured and Alex sucked in a breath, cock twitching at the thought. “Are you going to fuck me now?” Henry asked in such an innocent tone that it took Alex by surprise. 

“What you don’t want to just sit and chat about our day?” Alex said in just as innocent of a tone as Henry had. “I don’t know about you but I had just the most lovely day and I--” He started before he words cut off with a choked sound as Henry’s mouth went back around his cock. “Okay okay Jesus Christ.” He said after he caught his breath. He pushed Henry off of him and onto his back, straddling him easily. “And you call me needy.” 

“You talk too much sometimes.” Henry pouted. Alex kissed him hard before he broke off the kiss. Henry’s golden hair was mussed and laid out against the bed like a halo. “What?” Henry broke his concentration of drinking the image in.

Alex shook his head. “How did I get so lucky?”

Henry gave him a half smile. “Stop being a sap. We’re in the middle of something important here.”

“Oh like you getting off?” Alex said mildly as he wrapped a hand around Henry’s cock. The boy hissed and arched up on instinct. “I can’t sing praises about my boyfriend?”

“Alex...please.” Henry’s voice cracked as he gritted the words out.

“Well since you asked so nicely.” Alex hummed as he leaned forward to grab the lube and the condom that Henry had left so lovingly within reach before they had even started, the horny bastard. 

He slicked up his fingers and as he kissed Henry once again he slipped one inside. It didn’t take much to push in and Alex let out a little huff against Henry’s lips. “You really did finger yourself.”

“Told you.” Henry groaned as Alex added in another and curled them just so. He felt Henry’s hands grip his biceps hard as he slowly went to the trouble of opening Henry up even though he didn’t really need the prep. “Alex…” Henry whined again and Alex moved back, taking his fingers out. He rolled the condom on and added more lube before pressing in slowly.

He let out a slow breath through his teeth at the feeling. He wasn’t sure he would ever get tired of it and the fact that Henry’s entire face and chest were turning red from the feeling was just that much better. Henry took in a stuttering breath, his grip on Alex’s arms tightening while Alex rubbed circles into Henry’s hip bones.

“Relax for me baby.” Alex murmured and Henry’s eyes squeezed shut.

Once he knew that Henry was adjusted he began to move slowly. He wanted to draw this out, tease Henry until he was begging for it in retaliation for the library. He knew he probably wasn’t going to hold out though, he was just as weak as Henry. 

He set up a slow rhythm, practically blanketing Henry with his body as he kissed him hard, fingers tangling in his hair. He heard the gasps and moans pouring out of Henry as he picked up the pace just a little. He moved his lips to Henry’s neck, kissing and licking and letting his teeth lightly scratch along the surface. 

Henry suddenly pushed Alex off of him and he let out a noise of disapproval until Henry straddled him and sat on his cock slowly. He watched as Henry’s eyes closed and mouth went slack at the feeling.

Henry began setting a faster pace as he leaned forward, hands on Alex’s chest, hair falling into his eyes. It was like watching a god.

He let Henry use his body, seeking his own pleasure and setting the pace. He knew Henry was close when he felt him push himself back harder. 

“You going to come for me baby?” Alex whispered harshly and he felt a jolt when Henry’s eyes opened to gaze at him.

“You make me feel so good.” Henry said in a breathless voice. He captured Alex’s lips with his own and Alex pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Henry’s neck. Henry’s kisses were getting sloppy and he was starting to moan and pant against his lips. Alex bit Henry’s lip lightly and pulled back before Henry let out a broken sound and Alex grunted at the feeling of Henry spasming around him. 

He felt Henry’s fingers dig into his muscles and hold him tight before relaxing with a sigh. Alex bit his lip and made a few more thrusts before his head fell back and he arched up at the feeling of pleasure course through him. 

He found himself still under Henry when he regained autonomy of his limbs once more. Henry was breathing hard in the crook of his shoulder and Alex closed his eyes as he stroke Henry’s hair. 

They laid there for a moment as heartbeats slowed. 

“I’m going to miss this.” Henry murmured.

“What, me fucking you every night?” Alex said with a slight laugh.

“That and being able to fall asleep with you in my bed.” Henry sighed as he rolled off Alex. They were both sweaty and gross but too tired to do anything about it. 

“It’s only two weeks.” Alex reminded both Henry and himself.

“Two terribly long weeks.” Henry sighed again and Alex rolled to his side to kiss his neck and nestle against him.

“Once you get back we’re doing a giant road trip of Texas.”

“Oh we are, are we?” Henry lolled his head to the side face Alex.

“Yup. I gotta introduce you to everything this great state has to offer.” 

Henry laughed and kissed the top of Alex’s head. “Sure. Let’s do it.” 

They eventually got up and got clean before falling asleep tangled up in each other. 

Alex hated how much he both wanted finals to finally end and also didn’t want them to ever come to pass. But to come to pass they did. 

He held Henry’s hand as they stood on the curb in front of the airport. “Promise me you’ll text me and write to me every day?”

“Yes mum.” Henry said with a roll of his eyes but Alex frowned. Henry took his free hand and placed it against Alex’s cheek. Alex leaned into the touch. “I promise.”

“Good. I’ll assume you’ve been murdered if you don’t.” Alex leaned up and gave him a long kiss as he wrapped his free hand around Henry’s neck. They broke off the kiss and he leaned his forehead against Henry’s. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Henry breathed. 

“Don’t miss your flight.” Alex said as he pulled back.

Henry gave him another quick kiss before he took his suitcases in hand and walked toward the airport entrance. He waved once at Alex before he disappeared inside. Alex kept the smile on his face until he couldn’t see Henry anymore and then he let it drop. He went around to the car and leaned against the steering wheel with a loud sigh. He only was jolted out of his state when he heard someone honk behind him and with a quick middle finger he pulled away from the curb and headed towards his childhood home.

June had decided to stay in the mansion until her and Nora’s move to Fort Worth in a few weeks. 

The house felt empty and quiet. 

Alex would refuse to admit the amount of times he refreshed his email and checked his phone while watching trashy reality TV that he would also refuse to admit he enjoyed.

Finally he got a snapchat from Henry. An honestly terrible selfie that was slightly blurry but showed him in the car with the London Eye behind him and the caption ‘already missing you’. He sighed and held his phone to his chest. Fucking idiot.

To: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
From: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
Subject: Bored

Dearest Alex,

I never realized just how boring England can be without you around. I’ve hung out with all my old school friends but they’re just so boring compared to you. It really puts your light and fire and constant moving into perspective. 

I know you’re already saying “well duh” to yourself while reading this but just know that England doesn’t hold a candle to the apartment with you in it. 

I’ve attached a few pictures that I took around my old haunts. Also of David. I didn’t mention David before because I didn’t want you to be jealous but there he is in all of his glory. 

We’ve got a family dinner coming up in two days and I want to come out to everyone there. I know that’s a little dramatic of me but I’ll be channelling you the entire time. You’ve made me stronger I do believe. I’ll call you after I do it. I’ve already told Bea and Dad. Both took it very well and Bea said she knew since I was 11 and putting up pictures of old 80s films and ignoring the women in said films. She didn’t want to push me though and I appreciate her so much.

Dad was a little different. He was silent at first and I was terrified that I had lost him. That he would look at me differently and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Instead of turning away from me though he wrapped me up in that quintessential dad hug that he does so well and told me he was proud of me for letting him know. 

I’ll have those two at my back if things go horribly wrong at the dinner. And I’ll always have you of course. You make this entire awful experience worth it. 

Love always,  
Henry

P.S. Dear Apollo,

I love you I love you I love you

Forever yours,  
Hyacinthus

To: henry.fox@utaustin.edu  
From: alex.c.diaz@utaustin.edu  
Re: Bored

Dear Henry,

Not going to lie I ignored the rest of your letter until I opened the pictures to see who the fuck David was. I know you did that on purpose you evil evil man. He’s really cute by the way. I am jealous.

I’m so glad that your dad and Bea were okay with it. I would have flown across the ocean and told them off otherwise. I know the rest of your family won’t be as easy as them but just keep thinking of me and I promise you’ll get through it. Who knows? Maybe they’ll be super chill and we can all go to a gay bar together. 

LIfe has been so incredibly boring without you. I have been stuck in a rut just watching Keeping up with the Kardashians from the beginning like I haven’t watched all the episodes at least twice. (By the way you’re so a Kourtney it’s insane) 

I’ll be thinking of you (like I haven’t been thinking of you every second I’m awake and probably when I dream too except I never remember my dreams but I’m going to assume you at least make a cameo) especially tomorrow. Good luck baby. Call me when you can.

I know virtual hugs aren’t anything close to the real ones but I’m hugging you so tight right now.

Love,  
Alex

P.S. You’re taking all the good mythological couples. I don’t want to compare you to Paris and Helen so I’ll just leave it and let your little poet mind do the sweet nothings to me.

[VOICE CALL TRANSCRIPT: 1:24pm]

**Alex**: Hello? Hen?

**Henry**: Hey. [_his voice is tired_]

**Alex**: How did it go baby? [_hesitant_]

**Henry**: Thank god for Bea and dad, that’s all I have to say. [_silent for 3 seconds before sighing_] I knew it was going to be bad.

**Alex**: [_sound of broken sadness_] Oh Henry…

**Henry**: It was mostly Phillip and my gran. My mom was just shocked I think and didn’t really say anything. Phillip was just...awful and my gran had the audacity to tell me that I could keep it hidden and that my love life should be behind doors. She wants me to keep with the plan that I’m going to marry another noblewoman. I told her no that I wouldn’t do that.

**Alex**: This isn’t the 1700s! She can’t expect you to go along with an arranged marriage are you serious? [_tone angry_]

**Henry**: [_sigh followed by rustling noise_] I know. I didn’t have to tell her that. Bea got on her quick enough that I didn’t have to. Phillip told me that I was ruining the family and I told him that that had happened long before I came along. I think he assumes that he’s going to get a shot at the throne in some way and that our family needs to be pristine. Like his own marriage isn’t failing. Martha didn’t even show up to the dinner.

**Alex**: If I ever meet him I putting one right through the eyes I hope you realize that.

**Henry**: [_faint laugh_] I wouldn’t doubt it.

**Alex**: [_silence for 5 seconds_] I’m sorry. 

**Henry**: I know. I wish you were here but I had to do this on my own. I told Dad about you though. He says he wants to meet you when he comes next year. I convinced him to come visit me during the school year so he can finally see Texas.

**Alex**: I’d like to meet him too. He sounds awesome.

**Henry**: What are you doing right now?

**Alex**: [_silence for 3 seconds_] Nothing…..

**Henry**: What trashy show are you watching now?

**Alex**: Why do you always assume--

**Henry** [_interrupts_] Because I know you.

**Alex**: I’m watching Love Island because I miss your accent but these people are honestly the worst and definitely do not have your accent but I’m enjoying it. Please use this accent when you come back.

**Henry**: I’m not using an Essex accent.

**Alex**: [_bad rendition of Essex accent_] Fookin hell mate what you talkin bout

**Henry** [_laughs loudly_] Oh my god.

**Alex**: [_laughs_] You love me.

**Henry**: Bad imitations and all. 

**Alex**: Henry?

**Henry**: Yes?

**Alex**: You have everything you need, you know that right? Anybody that can’t accept you for who you are can fuck off. I’ve got you.

**Henry**: [_sighs_] I know. I love you Alex.

**Alex**: I love you too baby.

**Henry**: I’m going to bed. 

**Alex**: Alright. Snap me when you get up. I fookin love ya.

**Henry**: Oh my god you’re such an idiot. Goodnight.

**Alex**: [_laughs_] Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta just throw in a little spice where ever you can right? Also those reality shows are shows I've definitely partaken in. Self-insert say whaaaaat??? But lowkey we've only got one more chapter left and then this thing will be over and done with. Anyone else getting sad??? Thank you so much for those that have stuck around and kept reading like your comments make me want to finish this damn thing and I don't think I've ever written so much in such a short amount of time and actually finished it! Says a lot about how great you guys are aweeee
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)
> 
> GLOSSARY  
**Dead week** the week in between the end of classes and the week of finals. Mostly its a lot of mad panic trying to cram in the stuff that you put off studying the entire semester and you just pray you can remember half of it.  
**Love Island** I know those european fans will know what this is but I recently discovered it and holy shit it's fucking amazing. Just a bunch of singles looking to pair up and find a partner so they don't get voted off the island and they can say fuck on the air without getting bleeped because Europe don't give a fuck and neither do those idiots god bless em


	16. sunshine on my shoulders

“I missed you.” Alex breathed into Henry’s shoulder.

“I missed you.” Henry repeated to Alex’s curls. 

It felt like a mirror of when Alex picked Henry up at the airport after Christmas but this time he knew his feelings and he knew that Henry felt the same. 

“Want to go swimming?” Alex asked with a grin when they pulled back.

Henry gave him a funny look. “Swimming?”

“Yeah. Swimming.”

“Uh I guess.”

“You’ll love it.”

Alex knew that Henry was probably tired and could use some sleep but Alex wanted Henry to experience something new in Austin and the sun was shining and it was creeping towards the hottest part of the year slowly but surely. 

“Fuck it’s hot.” Henry said as they raced down I-35 with the doors off the Jeep and the wind blowing through their hair. 

“Nothing better than Texas am I right?” Alex grinned as he turned off the exit and Henry frowned again when he pulled into Zilker Park.

“We’re swimming at the park?”

“Nope.” Alex said as he parked the car. He threw Henry a towel. “You don’t mind wearing my swim trunks do you? They might be a little snug on you but I won’t be mad about it.”

Henry rolled his eyes. “You’re annoying.”

“Guilty.” Alex grinned and he grabbed Henry’s hand and pulled them towards the entrance.

“Barton Springs?” Henry frowned. 

“Yup. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of it.”

Henry shrugged. “Maybe in passing.” 

Alex dragged Henry through the gates after paying and the entrance opened up to a large pool complete with a diving board and hot lifeguards. “Swimming.” He repeated and Henry gaped a little, letting himself be lead towards and open area of grass where Alex spread out his towel and deposited his backpack.

“You want sunscreen? I know your pasty ass probably needs it.” Alex said and Henry nodded as he pulled his shirt off. He figured that Henry wasn’t expecting to go straight to do something after his flight but there was no time like the present and the summer wasn’t nearly long enough. He rubbed some of the sunscreen on his face, mostly to protect himself from wrinkles. He wasn’t easily burned and the summer sun wasn’t strong enough quite yet to make him need anything else. 

Henry on the other hand lathered himself up from his face to his feet. He laid out on the towel while Alex straddled his waist to rub in sunscreen on his back. 

“This feels a little provocative Mr. Claremont-Diaz.” Henry murmured.

“It’s supposed to be.” Alex shot back easily and he got a deep chuckle from Henry. He laid out on his towel next to Henry. “Let me know when you can’t stand the heat anymore.” He added as he closed his eyes and let himself soak up the rays. This was what summer was all about, doing nothing in the sun except being lazy. 

“This is already feels a million times more like home.” Henry said. Alex turned his head to the side to look at Henry who had his eyes closed beneath his sunglasses.

“Yeah?”

Henry turned towards him. “Yeah.” And smiled.

Alex smiled back and went back to letting the sun beat down on him. He wasn’t sure how long they laid out listening to the sounds of Austin in the background but he felt rather than heard Henry sit up. 

“I’m dying.” Henry said and Alex’s eyes opened. 

“Ready to get in?”

“Yeah let’s do it.”

Alex lead them down the hill towards the water. “Okay in order to do this properly we have to jump in together. Trust me on this.”

Henry nodded and took his hand. Alex counted down from three and the two of them leaped off the side and plunged into the water. He felt the icy cold seep into his skin as he came up for air.

“Holy shit!” Henry yelped, teeth instantly chattering. “Why didn’t you tell me it was so cold?”

Alex threw back his head and cackled. He jerked back when Henry splashed him. They were both treading water. “Would you have gotten in if I had told you?”

“Probably not.” Henry confessed a little sheepishly.

“Exactly my point.” Alex smirked. He kicked his feet out to float on his back, hands moving back and forth a little to keep his balance. He felt Henry come up next to him and he barely had time to suck in a breath before he was being pushed under the water. He came up sputtering while Henry’s laugh sounded like music. “You ass!”

“Payback’s a bitch.” Henry grinned and quickly swam out of reach of Alex. He swam after Henry and they splashed around before finally getting out when the cold got to be too much.

They collapsed on their towels, smiles on their faces. Alex leaned back against his hands, legs splayed out in front of him while Henry was cross legged turned towards him. He leaned over and kissed Henry lightly on the lips. He expected Henry to stiffen a little but instead Henry kissed him back easily. 

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.” Henry explained, reading his thoughts. He kissed Alex again. “I don’t care what my family thinks or what these random strangers think, all I care about is that I love you and I want to show that anywhere no matter what.”

Alex felt his heart melt. “You’re such a romantic sap.” He sighed and Henry gave him a sheepish smile and shrugged. 

They spent some more time out in the sun until Henry complained that he could feel his skin starting to fry for real. So they packed their stuff up and headed back towards Henry’s apartment, stopping for lunch at P. Terry’s along the way.

“I still can’t believe your mom has never had a hamburger.” Alex said as they ate in the apartment. 

Henry sucked down some of his milkshake and shrugged. “She’s a prim and proper woman I don’t know what to tell you.”

Alex’s eyebrows rose quickly as he pursed his lips and shook his head. “You English I swear.”

“I know, we never have any fun.” Henry finished Alex’s thoughts for him and Alex didn’t bother disagreeing. 

Once they were done Alex pulled Henry to his chest and the boy curled up next to him while they watched more of The Office. It took Alex a moment to realize that Henry had fallen asleep against him and he smiled fondly at the sight. He pushed his hand through Henry’s hair, massaging lightly as he continued to watch TV until Henry jerked against him suddenly.

“Oh. I fell asleep.” Henry murmured sleepily and yawned.

“Yeah but it’s okay.” Alex said as he kissed the top of Henry’s head. Henry let out a content sigh before shifting a little. “Do you want to sleep in your bed?” Alex asked.

“Mmm no I’m okay for right now.” Henry said as he closed his eyes and snuggled in closer. Alex felt his heart squeeze at the motion and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

Eventually he fell asleep too until he woke up again and it was much darker out. Henry was still out like a light. 

“Hen.” Alex shook the boy a little until Henry made an annoyed sound. 

“What?” Henry asked, brow furrowed a little at the commotion. 

“We both fell asleep. Are you hungry at all?” 

“No, just want to sleep.” Henry mumbled.

“Okay, but let’s move you to the bed.” Alex pushed Henry up a little and the boy moved more easily now that he was more awake.

“Need to shower. Clean sheets.” Henry mumbled again.

“Oh shut up you neat freak, we can change them in the morning.” Alex said with a laugh and pulled Henry to his feet and led him into the bedroom. He let Henry fall into bed, already dead asleep by the time his head hit the pillow. Alex chuckled to himself and move next to him easily. He wrapped his arms around Henry’s torso and the boy moved back easily towards Alex’s warm body.

He couldn’t believe that he would get to spend all summer like this, curled up next to his boyfriend and falling asleep together. 

It felt a little bit like someone would yank the rug out from under him if he didn’t hold onto it tightly. 

They spent the first week of summer doing mostly nothing but spending time on the couch, at Henry’s apartment pool, or in the bed. And also planning their roadtrip of course.

“So we have to spend our money wisely so I figured we could spend the night camping a few nights because camping is cheaper than renting a hotel room.” Alex explained as he went over their itinerary that Nora of course helped them with. Alex was a planner, but this was Nora’s bread and butter.

“Or we could just use my dad’s credit card.” Henry said nonchalantly and Alex froze.

“What?”

“Yeah I was telling my dad about our plans and he offered to pay for some of it.” 

Alex rubbed his temples. “You’re waiting till now to tell me this?” Henry was silent and gave him a ‘whoops my bad’ face and Alex let out a sigh. “Well at least now I know.” 

Henry reached out to give him a kiss. “I thought I had told you earlier. Guess it must have slipped my mind. Plus camping sounds awful.”

“Okay we’re camping in Big Bend you know that right?”

Henry wrinkled his nose. “We are?”

“Yes we are, it’s like one of the top must do things in Texas!” Alex whacked him in the chest.

“I mean I _guess_.”

“No guesses, you’re doing it.” 

They began to pack for their road trip and also helped Nora and June pack up their life. They would start by helping them move in before hitting the road. Alex was dreading the first leg of their trip because of course he had to be the one to drive the U-haul. Henry offered but the fact that he didn’t have an American licensed kind of deterred him from doing that. At least it was only three hours away. 

Nora drove Alex’s Jeep while June drove her car and Alex was stuck with driving the giant truck that was towing Nora’s car. It was an entire mess and he was tense the entire time even with Henry sitting next to him. 

“I fucking hate this. Never let me do this ever again.” He gritted out, his knuckles white against the steering wheel.

“You’re doing great babe.” Henry said as he pushed up his sunglasses.

“How the hell do big 18 wheelers do this for a living? I hate not being able to see behind me.”

Henry reached out and rubbed his shoulder lovingly. “Just a few more miles.”

They eventually made it to June and Nora’s apartment and began to unload. Alex already knew that he would definitely be sore as he and Henry helped move the bigger objects while June and Nora directed them on where to go. 

Finally everything was in place to where the girls wanted it and they all collapsed on the couch. He and Henry would spend the night before leaving in the morning. 

June ordered pizza and they all ate on the couch and laughed and drank beer and Alex felt a pang in his chest the entire time. 

“What’s on your mind?” June asked softly. Henry and Nora were in a deep discussion about who knew what.

Alex sighed and let his head fall back against the couch cushions. “I think I’m feeling nostalgic.” 

June gave him a sad smile and took his hand in her own. “Me too. It’s going to be weird not having you right down the street.”

Alex let his head flop to the side so he could look at her. “I’m going to hate it. I already miss you.”

“I know. But I’m only three hours or a facetime away. And it’s not like you’ll be alone. You have Henry now.” 

Alex’s eyes flicked over to where Henry was talking in an animated way. “Yeah.” He said fondly before looking back at June. “Who’s going to talk me off a ledge when I get too wound up during school though?”

“Alex, you know I haven’t had to do that in a long time.” June said with a little smile. 

Alex was silent as he studied Henry for a while. He supposed he hadn’t had to call June nearly as much since Henry had come into his life. He went to the boy more often than he went to his sister and that was saying a lot.

“He’s good for you.”

“He is.” Alex agreed. “Are you going to be okay though?”

“I’ve got Nora. I’ve got you. I’ll be more than okay.” June squeezed his hand. 

“I love you.”

June smirked. “I love you too you idiot.” 

As he and Henry drove away from Fort Worth he felt that pang reenter his chest. He didn’t want to miss June as much as he did but he knew that he would make it just fine because now he had Henry. 

So instead of moping, he cranked up the tunes and rolled down the windows as he and Henry yelled more than sang along to the music. He couldn’t help the grin that wouldn’t leave his face as he roared across the plains of Texas, through Lubbock (stopping only to show Henry what he could have been missing out on the Texas Tech campus of course), until they finally got to Big Bend. 

The first thing they did was find their campsite. Henry was practically useless when it came to setting up the tent so Alex ordered him to begin unloading while he set out the tarp and pulled the poles through the tent. 

“Wow, you make it look so easy.” Henry said as he sat in one of the lawn chairs and Alex rolled his eyes as he wiped sweat off his face.

“Hey princess, why don’t you start building a fire.” 

The sun was starting to set and it was slowly getting colder as it did. Henry attempted to make a fire but Alex had to redo it, showing the boy how to make it for the future. 

In the dancing flames Henry looked even more beautiful, almost ethereal. He pulled out hotdogs and skewers and handed Henry one to cook his own. 

“Did you ever think you’d be at this moment, cooking your own hotdog over a fire?” Alex asked with a wry smile.

“Nope. Never in a million years.” Henry said with a laugh. “I assumed I wouldn’t really enjoy Texas as much as I have. I assumed I would be spending my summer back in England but I’m very glad I’m not.” 

“Me too.” Alex said with a happy smile. He and Henry ate their hotdogs and then Alex pulled out things for s'mores.

“Oh god what the hell is that?” Henry asked.

“Why am I not surprised that you’ve never had a s'more before?”

“Because, again, my mum is not the type of woman to go out camping and make _s'mores_.”

“You’re in for a life changing experience my friend.” Alex grinned. He put a marshmallow on Henry’s skewer and he gave it back to Henry who then proceeded to catch it on fire. 

“Ahh! What do I do?” Henry yelled.

“Blow on it you idiot!” Alex laughed wildly and watched as Henry attempted three times to blow out his flaming marshmallow. 

“Did I kill it?” Henry asked and Alex continued to laugh as he brought the skewer closer to him and sandwiched it between two graham crackers and chocolate. 

“Now you eat it.” Alex handed the s'more to Henry and watched as the boy took a hesitant bite only for his eyes to light up. “See? I told you.”

“I should never doubt you on anything American ever again.” 

“You’re damn right.” Alex grinned as he put on a marshmallow on his own skewer to make his s'more. 

They ate far too many s'mores and both groaned about stomach aches as they crawled into the tent. Alex had put out the fire of course, he knew there was definitely a high fire alert in this time of the year. When everything around them was dried out brush they had to be careful.

Alex got into his sleeping bag, shivering a little bit from the lack of heat from the fire. This may be Texas but they were in the desert and that meant cold nights. 

“I didn’t think it got this cold at night.” Henry said, teeth chattering a little. Alex scooted over and spooned Henry, reaching out with his head to nestle against Henry’s neck. 

“That’s called being in the desert baby.” 

Henry hummed and he could hear the boy start to slow his breaths. 

It was silent for a while before he heard Henry break the silence. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever think about what would have happened if we hadn’t had that class together and I hadn’t had sat next to you?”

“I don’t particularly want to. Aren’t you just glad that we did?” Alex hummed, letting his nose brush against Henry’s neck.

“Do you think it was fate?” 

“Maybe. Maybe it was like all those myths, maybe good ol’ Apollo’s up there and working his magic.” 

Henry laughed softly. “I don’t think I want the gods to be messing with us. It never ends up well does it?”

“That’s true. Perhaps it was fate. Soulmates and all that.”

Henry shifted to face Alex. “You think we’re soulmates?”

Alex looked into Henry’s blue eyes, only partially lit by the light of the moon peeking through the mesh of the tent. “Do you not?”

Henry’s lips twitched into a smile. “Yeah I do, I’m just surprised that you do as well. I thought I was supposed to be the sappy one.” 

“You can’t hold that title all to yourself.” Alex grinned and kissed Henry softly, reverently. 

They fell asleep in each others arms, keeping the cold out. 

The next morning Alex woke Henry with far too many kisses and they didn’t actually stumble out of the tent until it was nearly lunch time. Henry made them sandwiches that they ate while sitting in their lawn chairs. Once they were done they hopped in the Jeep and Alex drove them to the mouth of a canyon. Henry gazed up in wonder.

“You don’t have these where you’re from I’m guessing?” Alex asked with a grin and Henry shook his head.

“Nope, definitely not.”

They spent the day hiking up into the canyon. Henry complained a little when they had to cross the river where it was lower to get to the other side. They stopped along the way to take multiple pictures. So many that Alex had to roll his eyes.

“It’s beautiful Alex shut up.” Henry said as he took yet another picture of a cactus on the side of a rock.

“You’ve taken at least ten pictures of something very similar.” 

“Yeah but not the same.” Henry countered and Alex snorted. Eventually they made their way back to the mouth of the canyon to head back to the campsite.

“I have a surprise.” Alex said as he cooked eggs over the fire in a skillet. 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Henry asked as he sipped a beer.

“When the sky gets dark enough we’re going to an observatory.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yup. Big Bend is one of the few places in the US that has a low enough light pollution to be able to see the stars.” Alex beamed. 

Once they finished their dinner and the light faded from the sky Alex drove them to the McDonald Observatory.

“Oh my god this is so cool.” Henry said excitedly as he slipped his hand into Alex’s. The stars were already starting to light up and Alex had never seen so many. They listened to a talk about the observatory and what they did before they were able to be turned loose and look into the main telescope. 

“Oh my god.” Henry repeated when it was his turn. He looked up at Alex with wide eyes. “This is amazing.”

Alex grinned as he snapped a quick picture before looking into the telescope himself. He could see so many stars in such a crystal clear view that it took his breath away. He never considered himself a big star gazer but this was a once in a lifetime type of experience. 

He and Henry walked outside and sat on one of the benches and just leaned their head back against the wood. 

“This is so incredible. Thank you Alex.” Henry said and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Alex leaned his head against Henry’s.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

“This entire trip has been great.”

“Well it’s not even close to being done yet.” 

One more night in the tent and they were off on the road again. They traveled along the Mexico/US border as they headed towards the coast. Henry spent some time sleeping but most of the time he was either talking Alex’s ears off about some obscure author or he was acting as DJ, cuing terrible old pop songs on Spotify and cackling when Alex groaned as they came on. 

Alex had never felt so free. 

Eventually they made it to their hotel in Corpus Christi. 

“Can we go to the beach now?” Henry asked and Alex raised an eyebrow.

“You’re actually asking?”

“Yeah, what’s the big deal?”

“You never seem to want to do water things.”

“Yeah well I’ve never been to a beach before that I haven’t had to wear a wetsuit to.”

“Fair point.” Alex grinned. They got changed and soon were walking on the unsteady ground as they made it to the shore. It was nearly sunset at this point but there were still quite a few people hanging out. Alex spread out his towel and sat on the sand.

Henry’s hair was whipping around in the wind from the ocean and Alex watched as he looked at it in wonder.

“I haven’t seen the ocean in a while. My dad would bring us to the shore during the summers when we were younger but once we got old enough, no one wanted to go except me.” Henry explained. “I always figured when I was older I’d buy a little seaside cottage and spend the summers there writing away the days.”

“You can still do that.” Alex said with a little smile. “Maybe not here because we get hurricanes sometimes but maybe somewhere in England.”

Henry turned towards him. “And you’ll join me?”

It felt like he was asking for forever. And Alex felt something bubble up inside of him. He smiled fondly at Henry and nodded. “Why not? Though how do you feel about a lakehouse instead? Less smelly.” He wrinkled up his nose in slight distaste and Henry laughed. 

“I might be able to settle for a lakehouse.” Henry agreed and leaned over to give Alex a kiss. “Come on, let’s take a selfie.” 

Alex came in close and kissed Henry on the cheek while the boy took took a picture. Alex rested his head against Henry’s shoulder for another, their smiles soft against the dying sun. 

Eventually it started to get too dark to do anything so they packed up and headed for the hotel. They had a couple days here before moving to their next place and they definitely took advantage of the hot summer days by laying out at the beach. Henry made sand castles, Alex knocked them down. Henry chased Alex into the ocean, Alex dunked Henry under the water. Henry buried Alex in the sand, Alex whined when Henry left him for dead (but not for long). 

It was bright, it was free, it was them. 

“Do we have to leave the beach?” Henry moaned as they laid in their hotel bed, freshly showered. Henry had slightly pink cheeks from his sunburn and Alex made circles on his chest.

“Yeah, but we have more to do, don’t worry.”

“I trust you.” Henry sighed. “Even though the beach is glorious. I’m telling you, I’m moving here.”

“Hurricanes baby. Don’t forget about the hurricanes.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. They can go around.”

“Yes, let’s tell a natural phenomenon that we don’t allow hurricanes and to kindly fuck off.”

“Exactly.” Henry grinned. “You get me.” 

Alex chuckled and shook his head.

They fell asleep, pliant and sunburned and happy. 

The next day they made their way towards San Antonio. 

They walked hand in hand down the Riverwalk. Alex snapped a picture of Henry wearing an obnoxiously big sombrero with a giant grin on his face.

Alex made Henry try enchiladas and they chowed down on the best Mexican food that reminded him of his abuela’s cooking. 

“Why don’t you ever make me something like this?” Henry asked, mouth full of enchilada. 

“Because it’s never as good as my abuela’s cooking and then I just get disappointed.” Alex sighed dramatically.

“That’s true, you should stick to campfire cooking because I automatically assume it will be shitty.” Henry grinned and ducked as Alex shot out a hand to whack him upside the head. “Don’t lie, you know I’m right!”

“But the audacity to say it outloud is just too much.” Alex gripped his heart in mock pain. 

Henry stuck out his tongue and laughed. They were both at least two margaritas in and both feeling good. As the sun set they walked along the water and watched the boats slowly move down the middle, sounds of people laughing floating towards them. Alex felt content as he leaned against Henry’s shoulder. He ignored the looks they were getting because nothing could spoil the little place they had carved out for themselves in the world.

That night Alex slowly made love to Henry while the boy fell apart under him and it felt perfect.

The next day they packed up again early in the morning and headed towards New Braunfels and Schlitterbahn.

“So there’s two different sides to the park and they recently put in this really long lazy river that connects the two of them but you can also take a bus.” Alex explained as they waited in line at the water park that boasted several world record setting rides. 

“Nothing that will get me killed right? No insane rides that no one talks about people dying on?” Henry asked nervously and Alex laughed.

“Nope, just the possibility of you getting splashed in the face.” 

“That I can handle I suppose.” Henry said with a lopsided smile. They got their wristbands and Alex ushered Henry towards a good spot to drop their bags. They locked up their valuables in the locker and then went to grab a rubber inner tube.

“So you really have to lug this thing around?” Henry asked as he put the rubber tube over his shoulder.

“Yup. Builds character.” Alex grinned and herded Henry towards one of the rides. As they stood in line Henry gaped at the vast array of people in various states of undress. Some women wearing a barely there bikini and some men wearing shirts and water shoes. Alex had forced Henry to buy Chacos specifically for this occasion. 

He looked Henry over. The boy had gotten a tan since the start of the summer and he looked good in his little short pink swim trunks.

“Alex, are you checking me out?” Henry interrupted him and Alex grinned and nodded.

“So what if I am?”

“Alex, we’re in _public_.” Henry gasped dramatically before winking at him. Alex of course snorted and nudged him forward in the line.

When they got to the front of the line Alex watched Henry awkwardly fall back into the tube and be pushed off by the lifeguard. He followed shortly and cackled as Henry let out little screams each time they went down a slide before they eventually got trapped in the crowd that was slowly moving along with the water’s current.

“I get why people do this now.” Henry said as he leaned his head backwards to look at Alex who was holding onto his tube with one hand so they could stay together. Henry’s golden hair dipped a little into the water.

“We’re only just getting started.” 

They rode rides until they were basically kicked out of the park, only resting to take a break for lunch. Alex had packed them food in the small cooler and they had sat at their picnic table people watching.

“We definitely need to come here again sometime.” Henry grinned as they walked to their car to head to their hotel for the night. 

“It’s only two hours away, I think we can swing it before the summer’s out.” Alex yawned as he put the car in drive and pulled out. 

“Don’t fall asleep now on me.” Henry poked Alex in the arm.

“I know, I know. I’ve just had a lot of sun in these last few days.” Alex yawned again. He took a quick shower when they got their room and effectively collapsed into bed, only shifting when Henry came to join him. 

They woke up slowly the next morning with the sunlight streaming in. Henry kissed him awake and it took them a while to actually get out of bed, but since they had been getting up early their bodies were used to their early starts.

“My suit’s still wet.” Henry wrinkled his nose.

“You’re about to get back in the water, don’t be an infant.” Alex rolled his eyes as he pulled on his own still slightly damp suit. He was just glad the Jeep had leather seats.

They drove towards the Comal River and Alex parked by the entrance. 

“More rubber tubes?” Henry sighed and Alex stuck out his tongue.

“You are the most prissy person I’ve ever had to deal with in my entire life.”

“It leaves makes on me!”

“Yeah, it’s _rubber_.” Alex laughed.

They walked down the hill towards the mouth of the river and set their tubes in before sitting back into them. Alex had to laugh as Henry nearly flipped his and he got a face full of water in retaliation. They backwards paddled towards the chute entrance and Alex let out a loud whoop while Henry on the other hand let out out a wild scream as the chute shot them out into the river. The force of the river very nearly took Alex out of his tube and he came up laughing wildly, rubbing his eyes as he looked for Henry. He frowned when he couldn’t spot him and he sat up a little into his tube, a bit of panic showing on his face.

“Henry?” He called out and then flinched when he felt someone kick him from behind.

“Gotcha!” Henry yelled and Alex’s head looked back, making Henry with his giant smile upside. 

“You asshole! I thought you were a goner.”

“Aw you do care. How sweet.” Henry cooed before letting out a sound of protest when Alex splashed him. “Not cool!”

They floated down the river, chatting about everything from the trip so far to hair products to favorite soda flavors. Alex was legitimately shook that Henry’s favorite odd soda flavor was the orange Diet Coke. Eventually they slipped into comfortable silence, just listening to the other murmurings along the river and the sounds of Texas in the background. 

“This is surprisingly very relaxing.” Henry said, his eyes closed behind his sunglasses. He was wearing a strap with Alex’s fraternity letters on them to keep them from falling off. 

“It truly is. I should have brought drinks.”

“Nah it doesn’t need drinks. I’m good with just this.” Henry hummed. Alex had his hand on Henry’s tube to keep them linked together. 

“Yeah, me too.” Alex agreed.

As much as he didn’t want their float trip to end, they eventually came to the unloading zone and caught a bus that would bring them back to the Jeep and back to their hotel. 

“So tomorrow it’s back to the lakehouse?” Henry asked as he rubbed a towel through his hair.

“Yup. No one will bother us though. We’ve got it to ourselves.”

“I like the sound of that.” Henry said with a wicked look and Alex couldn’t help the slow grin curl onto his face.

The drive to the lakehouse was quick. It was nice not being too far away from Austin. The lakehouse itself smelled a little stale from not being used in a while, probably since Christmas. 

“Does this mean we don’t have to have bunkbeds?” Henry asked as he pulled his duffle bag from the car. 

“This definitely means no bunkbeds.” Alex laughed and showed him to one of the guest rooms that had more than enough space for both of them. He quickly changed into his swim trunks yet again, wondering why he had even bothered to wear actual shorts for the drive when he knew that he would be jumping into the lake as soon as they got here.

Alex grabbed the boat keys from their hook and he and Henry walked down to the dock.

“Are you sure you can drive this thing?” Henry asked hesitantly as Alex switched on the motor.

“Please, I’ve been driving this thing since I was 13 basically.” He slowly backed away from the dock and turned the boat around and soon they were cruising on Lake LBJ. He let the wind whip through his hair while Henry looked like a fucking statue come to life as he lounged against the seat, his slightly bronzed skin glistening in the sunlight. 

Alex slowed them down and dropped the anchor near a little cove. 

“Race you to that big rock?” He said as he shucked his sunglasses.

“You’re on.” Henry said with a determined expression. 

It was a lot of splashing and pulling limbs and blatant cheating but Alex managed to win. 

“You so cheated!” Henry accused.

“So did you! I just cheated better.” 

Henry laughed and kissed Alex hard, one arm snaking around his shoulders and the other hand steadying himself against the rock. Alex’s arms went around Henry and he wrapped his legs around for good measure too, effectively koalaing the boy.

“Mmph Alex you’re drowning me.” Henry said with a muffled sound and Alex pulled back.

“Weak ass lookin--”

“Finish that sentence I dare you.”

“Motherfucker.” Alex grinned wildly and he was dunked under the water. When he came up for air Henry was already sprinting towards the boat. Alex let out sound of protest and he tried to catch up. When he made it back he was breathing hard and Henry had pulled himself up into the boat.

“Slow poke.” Henry teased and Alex shook his head but couldn’t help the smile as he crawled up the ladder and caught the towel Henry threw at him. They laid out on the cushions at the front of the boat, letting the sun dry them off more than the towels until it was clear that it was time to head back.

Alex drove them back as the sun set and he quickly docked the boat before dragging Henry up the hill to the deck chairs. They plopped down to watch the sunset across the water, making the ripples look like glowing diamonds. 

“So, was the road trip worth your time?” Alex rolled his head toward Henry with a faint smile.

“Definitely. I see why you love your state so much. The people can be a lot sometimes but god...the beauty of this place is just...unreal.” Henry said with a little sigh. “I feel like I could live here the rest of my life and still never see it all.”

Alex’s expression took on one of fondness. “You could you know. You could stay here for the rest of your life.” 

“Are you talking about forevers with me right now?” Henry asked with an amused expression.

“Do you not believe in them?”

“No I do.” Henry studied him for a moment and Alex felt the intensity of the moment. Like he was holding his breath for something but he wasn’t sure what. “I’d like to try out forevers with you.”

Alex felt the love he felt for Henry surge up in the back of his throat. He leaned over and kissed Henry softly, reverently. “I’d like that too.” 

They looked back out across the water and Alex knew that no matter what life threw at them in the future, they would always have this summer and the memories and the pictures and each other. As long as there was beauty in a Texas sunset, they would have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowowowooww thank you all so much for reading and commenting on this story. What a journey, honestly. I can say this is the longest and biggest fic I've ever completed and it's all thanks to your kind words and these two lovable idiots who I absolutely adore. Hopefully I've done them justice. This might be an end for this AU but I have plans for more with these two in the future. I wanted to give this AU a nice little ending of all the things I've personally done and loved about Texas because this fic was definitely a little love letter to the state that raised me. If you ever get a chance you should make a trip because it's got some of the most beautiful scenery. Wow am I feeling nostalgic. Don't be afraid to let me know your thoughts about this chapter or this story as a whole. 
> 
> I love you all.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


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